However, as I was leaving the last time, sitter made a comment "are you going to be a bad girl this time?". I about flipped, but we just quickly left before I said something I would regret. My friend is also older than me, and has a daughter in college. Should I drop it, or bring it up again, or what? I want to tell her not to say it, but have a hard time approaching it, as she is the "older" woman who has raised a perfect daughter. Also, I have tried searching the web on articles on such things, but cant find anything, to "prove" my point, so she isnt thinking I alone am coming up with such "nonsense". That, and I have a hard time expressing things in a logical, make sense type of way.
Thanks in advance!
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
|Also, I have tried searching the web on articles on such things, but cant find anything, to "prove" my point|
has great articles on the results of judging children like that
also, naomi ardolt has wonderful articles at the natural child website too about this as well.
I would not try to find anything to prove my point. You said she is a friend and that would likely make her feel like you were judging her, I would stick with telling her that YOU prefer she not call your daughter a bad girl, that you think it should be about the behavior so that she knows exactly how to behave, that "bad girl" isn't specific. I wouldn't talk about the effect it has on her self esteem, although I agree that it does, I just think that she is a friend and I'd be careful about how I address it, you catch more bees with honey, than you do being a know-it-all. JK- What I'm trying to say is -stick with how identifying the behavior that you want sends a clearer message, and leave it at that.
PS- tread carefully, she's wrong but she's also a friend who means well.
Much sensible advice given here.