Son bullied by three year olds - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-13-2006, 12:29 PM
 
mamaduck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 6,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been thinking about this thread a lot -- because honestly, I'm not sure I would intervened if my son had done that at age 3. I mean, I'm a fairly sensitive person, and I guess if I had picked up "vibes" that you were uncomfortable, then I would have stepped in. But at this point, I'm so used to the way that kids play act -- that it might not have phased me very much.

When I had an infant and a 3 year old of my own, we had frequent playdates at our house with other kids his age, and so there was a lot of this type of play going on around our home. (For some reason, my older son was obsessed with the idea of putting people in pretend jail, including babies. Or pretend chopping off their heads.) My kids watched very little television (PBS, occasionally) and were not exposed to violence, so I just supposed that these concepts must have come from story books and bits of information that he picked up from who-knows-where, and needed to play out in order to come to grips with.

Anyway -- my general reaction was to become dramatic and play-act with them. For example, I'd clutch the baby close and screech, "Oh no! Not my beautiful baby! Don't worry, baby! I will protect you! Help! Help! Someone rescue us!!! Come on baby, we need to hide from the evil villians! I'll never let them hurt you!"

The 3 yo's would of course, die laughing on the spot. And I think it helped to clarify in their minds that this was all pretend, and silly. And it helped the baby to be easy going and joyful about his big brother's antics.

In a less playful mood, I would have just said, "No thank you. I like my babies to be in one peice!"

I guess my point is just that there is more than one way to look at this sort of play when you spend time around kids this age. And more than one way to handle it -- without needing to worry that they are going to grow into psychopaths. My big boy is now 10 yo, and very trustworthy and sensitive with smaller children.

My "baby" is now 6 years old, and finds it very easy to join into social groups, play with a variety of kids, and tolerates a lot of silliness with a sense of playfullness and joy that I envy.
mamaduck is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-13-2006, 01:02 PM
 
MobiusWentKnowhere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: My heart lives in Brooklyn
Posts: 26
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is an interesting situation that I think all new parents find themselves in at some point. It is horrifying to see your bundle of love and affection say something as horrific as was said in this instance or worse as my 3yo son has said to me. We don't advocate violence in our home, not even as a turn of phrase. Yet he has threatened to kill me. What I think should be addressed is the greater role of violence and rude behavior in our society in general.

I was bullied as a child as well. My parents advocated non-violence in all situations and I took it to heart. While I took my lumps I was able to hold on to that core influence. There was a price to be paid in self-confidence and personal pride, however. But adulthood has seen me past those times and left me safe enough to recover that confidence and pride. The world is still full of violence and bullies but I am my own person with my own strengths and convictions which gives me tools to deal with that world. I thank my parents in this.

I don't think that we will rid the world of violence by sheltering our children from it. There will always be jockeying for dominance in groups and violence will always be used by somebody. Correcting the children in that group would have provided an immediate remedy. The parents would have been using their power over their children to modify their behavior. This is a type of bullying in some sense. So there is the archtype that we inevitably expose to our children. We use our parent's power to effect behavior.

What is more important is to teach our children the other side of the equation. We must teach them which are reasonable requests and which are not. It is when they are not that the reaction is most important. It is hard not to be outraged by unsociable behavior, but even harder to effect it on any grand scale. Consider focusing on instilling in your child the ability to cope and diffuse such behavior.
MobiusWentKnowhere is offline  
Old 12-13-2006, 04:22 PM
 
Fuamami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 4,375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaduck View Post
I've been thinking about this thread a lot -- because honestly, I'm not sure I would intervened if my son had done that at age 3. I mean, I'm a fairly sensitive person, and I guess if I had picked up "vibes" that you were uncomfortable, then I would have stepped in. But at this point, I'm so used to the way that kids play act -- that it might not have phased me very much.
I've been thinking about this, too. I was thinking that if my dd called your baby "stupid", which she's REALLY into doing lately, I might have totally ignored it. I'm sure a lot of people would have been offended by that, but after three months of addressing it every time she said it only to see it worsen soooo much, I've decided to try "extinction", if you will, and ignore it when she calls things or people stupid. Maybe that's what those mothers were doing?

Mommy to kids

Fuamami is offline  
Old 12-13-2006, 04:45 PM
 
DevaMajka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Burnaby, BC
Posts: 10,344
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm posting this before reading the thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarain View Post
Is this what GD is? Or are these just mom's who are affraid to correct/teach thier kids??
Gd is NOT about being "gentle" to your dc and being inconsiderate of how your dc's actions are affecting others.
If that were my ds (which would surprise me, but anything is possible I guess), I would probably have responded in such a way that it might look like I wasn't doing much. Maybe "Whoa! Don't say stuff like that to people. That's hurtful. That baby doesn't look happy that you said that." Something like that. Then some redirection. But imo that would get the message across.

IMO, you also had a right to say something to the boys about how their actions affected your baby, if mom didn't say something and it continued. "Hey, stop that! It's scaring Baby!"

(I'd also try to find a quieter way for ds to play, *IF* I was aware that the noise was disturbing people. Sometimes moms get so used to their own child's noise, that it doesn't bother them anymore, and they forget that it might bother others.)

Becky, partner to Teague, SAHM to Keagan (7yo), Jonah (2yo)
 

DevaMajka is offline  
Old 12-13-2006, 05:18 PM
 
DevaMajka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Burnaby, BC
Posts: 10,344
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow! I'm writing this as I read the thread:
An extreme reaction, imo, would be ineffective at teaching the 3yo anything useful. It would put too much focus on the reaction itself, and take focus OFF of what matters- the hurtful behavior and it's effects on the Baby.
Making a child AFRAID to behave in a certain way is certainly NOT gentle, and is actually not in my definition of discipline either.
Actually, it seems to me to be a very real likelihood that an extreme reaction (like putting the fear of god in them : ) could actually be counter-productive.

I also agree that a 3yo can't be a bully. Being a bully seems to need a certain intellectual understanding that it seems a 3yo wouldn't have. (I say "seems" because I've never dealt directly with either).
And I totally believe in self fulfilling prophesies and with TCC idea that kids do what is *expected* of them. So if a 3yo is *expected* to be a bully (by being labeled one, for example), then a bully he will become.

As far as dealing with unacceptable behavior, do so because it matters in the moment, not because you want to prevent these children from becoming bullies. I think mom's have a right to stand up for their children, so certainly don't think I'm advocating staying quiet and dealing with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crb View Post
I remember once visiting my nephew and he greeted me at the door w/ "I'm a crocodile and I'm going to bite you and chew your head up!" While I stood there in surprise (being w/o kids at the time) his father just said, "Oh my, that's dramatic" and directed us all to a new activity. At the time I thought "shouldn't he have addressed the violence?", but later I realized that by not really acknowledging it or playing along and moving along quickly, he was sending a message to his son. Maybe they discussed it later - I don't know.
Yeah, I can see myself doing that (and have, but not in response to anything violent, which we haven't really had to deal with yet). It really seems that a small response of surprise would be most beneficial when dealing with a child who is generally not violent at all.

Becky, partner to Teague, SAHM to Keagan (7yo), Jonah (2yo)
 

DevaMajka is offline  
Old 12-13-2006, 05:22 PM
 
irinam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: San Fran Bay Area, California
Posts: 1,993
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaduck View Post
I've been thinking about this thread a lot -- because honestly, I'm not sure I would intervened if my son had done that at age 3. I mean, I'm a fairly sensitive person, and I guess if I had picked up "vibes" that you were uncomfortable, then I would have stepped in. But at this point, I'm so used to the way that kids play act -- that it might not have phased me very much.
I agree. For several (possible) reasons:

1)Mothers saw the OP being right there for her baby and might have thought that it was more than enough “protection” from their active toddlers
2)Loud play and experimenting with violent language may be so low on their radar (which may have been toughened up and reactions are “saved” for “really dangerous” situations when safety is involved, and there are many of those situations when a 3yo is involved)


Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaduck View Post
When I had an infant and a 3 year old of my own, we had frequent playdates at our house with other kids his age, and so there was a lot of this type of play going on around our home. (For some reason, my older son was obsessed with the idea of putting people in pretend jail, including babies. Or pretend chopping off their heads.) My kids watched very little television (PBS, occasionally) and were not exposed to violence, so I just supposed that these concepts must have come from story books and bits of information that he picked up from who-knows-where, and needed to play out in order to come to grips with.

Anyway -- my general reaction was to become dramatic and play-act with them. For example, I'd clutch the baby close and screech, "Oh no! Not my beautiful baby! Don't worry, baby! I will protect you! Help! Help! Someone rescue us!!! Come on baby, we need to hide from the evil villians! I'll never let them hurt you!"

The 3 yo's would of course, die laughing on the spot. And I think it helped to clarify in their minds that this was all pretend, and silly. And it helped the baby to be easy going and joyful about his big brother's antics.

In a less playful mood, I would have just said, "No thank you. I like my babies to be in one peice!"

I guess my point is just that there is more than one way to look at this sort of play when you spend time around kids this age. And more than one way to handle it -- without needing to worry that they are going to grow into psychopaths. My big boy is now 10 yo, and very trustworthy and sensitive with smaller children.

My "baby" is now 6 years old, and finds it very easy to join into social groups, play with a variety of kids, and tolerates a lot of silliness with a sense of playfullness and joy that I envy.
I love the suggestions. Humor almost always works, especially with 3yo’s

So, I would definitely not label the 3yo behavior as “bullying”. I probably would give those mothers a break (always assume the best). If I was uncomfortable with a situation I would have taken it upon myself to say something (like mamaduck suggested) to the kids.

And despite all of the above – I know how you felt OP Mama bear instinct is always strong, but I believe especially when our kids are babies
irinam is offline  
Old 12-13-2006, 05:34 PM
 
Ellien C's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the middle ages
Posts: 5,496
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MobiusWentKnowhere View Post
I don't think that we will rid the world of violence by sheltering our children from it. There will always be jockeying for dominance in groups and violence will always be used by somebody. Correcting the children in that group would have provided an immediate remedy. The parents would have been using their power over their children to modify their behavior. This is a type of bullying in some sense. So there is the archtype that we inevitably expose to our children. We use our parent's power to effect behavior.

What is more important is to teach our children the other side of the equation. We must teach them which are reasonable requests and which are not. It is when they are not that the reaction is most important. It is hard not to be outraged by unsociable behavior, but even harder to effect it on any grand scale. Consider focusing on instilling in your child the ability to cope and diffuse such behavior.
WOW! This is *very* insightful. Welcome to MDC. I hope we hear more from you and I hope you like it here and stick around!

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
Ellien C is offline  
Old 12-13-2006, 05:35 PM
 
PumpkinSeeds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Mosquitoville
Posts: 3,750
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Something that I was thinking along these lines is that although I strive my best to guide my children to behave in socially acceptable ways, I simply cannot monitor every single interaction they have.

That's why I think the OP was within her right to say something to the children (something that she would be comfortable saying to her own child and in a way that she would expect other Mamas to treat her child in a similar situation)


Quote:
Originally Posted by irinam View Post
2)Loud play and experimenting with violent language may be so low on their radar (which may have been toughened up and reactions are “saved” for “really dangerous” situations when safety is involved, and there are many of those situations when a 3yo is involved)
PumpkinSeeds is offline  
Old 12-13-2006, 06:06 PM
 
EnviroBecca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 5,234
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
I'm sorry this happened! It was inappropriate, and the boys' mothers should have intervened. While it's true that preschoolers do say these sorts of things sometimes and aren't really bullying as such, that doesn't mean they should have free reign to threaten little babies whose mamas are upset by it, and adults should help them shift their "scary" play to an appropriate venue. If their own parents don't do it, you can.

Mamaduck wrote:
Quote:
I'd clutch the baby close and screech, "Oh no! Not my beautiful baby! Don't worry, baby! I will protect you! Help! Help! Someone rescue us!!! Come on baby, we need to hide from the evil villians! I'll never let them hurt you!"
I like this idea. I also think that a firm statement along the lines of, "Speak gently to my baby." is perfectly appropriate.

Regarding the noise level: Just because it is normal for children to make noise while playing doesn't mean there should be no effort to turn down their volume when it's disrupting something else. IMO, the moms of the noisy kids should have asked them to be quieter and taken them outside if they weren't willing to be quieter.

There's a difference between "normal" and "acceptable in every situation".

Mama to a boy EnviroKid treehugger.gif 9 years old and a new little girl EnviroBaby baby.gif!

I write about parenting, environment, cooking, and more. computergeek2.gif

EnviroBecca is online now  
Old 12-15-2006, 04:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
Sarain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: VANCOUVER BC
Posts: 29
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, you know I really didn't know that my post would be such a big thing! I wrote that post/VENT late at night when I was feeling emotional about a number of different things. I do still feel somewhat upset about that incendent with the little boys, but not as much as before.

I've been thinking a lot about bullying for the last few days. Some people think it's impossible for 3 year olds to be bullies, and other's like me, think it IS possible for three year olds to be bullies ( or to express bully like behaviour.) I'm guessing that no one here is an expert on child psychology? So no one REALLY know's? We're all ( including me) just sharing our personal ideas on child development?

Here's my idea on why it is possible for very young children to express bully like behavoiur... We are all born with basic and very powerful animal intincts. Feeling powerful/ having power over others is possibly an early man survival instinct to have all the women and meat?? I'm gussing that a two-three year old is developmentally able to start expressing dominance over others?

There is also development of the EGO as well around this time right?

What about the group mentality part of bullying? where one person starts saying or doing something then another..and another, more and more people start doing it even if it's something rediculus or violent, and this is also part of our animal instinct. I didn't feel so upset when the first boy said what he did, but when the second boy joined in the "fun" then I felt my baby was being bullied/ganged-up on.
When I was being bullied at school ( and by the way this started at 5 years old) it was NEVER just me and the "bully" child alone, it was always kids in a group, or one child bullying me while there was an audience of other children to share in the fun/power. I don't at all think those little boys are horrible or dysfunctional, but I do feel that parents need to start to teaching their children how to express their energy, and the human need for power in other ways, that do not hurt others. There are other basic human instinct's that we teach our children to express, or deal with in a socially appropriate manner as well..RIGHT! This is our responsiblity as parents.

My dad is a Psycologist, and I think I'll talk to him about the subject of "bullying." I'd really like to know more about this!
Sarain is offline  
Old 12-15-2006, 04:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
Sarain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: VANCOUVER BC
Posts: 29
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, you know I really didn't know that my post would be such a big thing! I wrote that post/VENT late at night when I was feeling emotional about a number of different things. I do still feel somewhat upset about that incendent with the little boys, but not as much as before.

I've been thinking a lot about bullying for the last few days. Some people think it's impossible for 3 year olds to be bullies, and other's like me, think it IS possible for three year olds to be bullies ( or to express bully like behaviour.) I'm guessing that no one here is an expert on child psychology? So no one REALLY know's? We're all ( including me) just sharing our personal ideas on child development?

Here's my idea on why it is possible for very young children to express bully like behavoiur... We are all born with basic and very powerful animal intincts. Feeling powerful/ having power over others is possibly an early man survival instinct to have all the women and meat?? I'm gussing that a two-three year old is developmentally able to start expressing dominance over others?

There is also development of the EGO as well around this time right?

What about the group mentality part of bullying? where one person starts saying or doing something then another..and another, more and more people start doing it even if it's something rediculus or violent, and this is also part of our animal instinct. I didn't feel so upset when the first boy said what he did, but when the second boy joined in the "fun" then I felt my baby was being bullied/ganged-up on.
When I was being bullied at school ( and by the way this started at 5 years old) it was NEVER just me and the "bully" child alone, it was always kids in a group, or one child bullying me while there was an audience of other children to share in the fun/power. I don't at all think those little boys are horrible or dysfunctional, but I do feel that parents need to start to teaching in a kind way..(beacaus it's ALL about kindness isn't it!) their children how to express their energy, and the human need for power in other ways, that do not hurt others. There are other basic human instinct's that we teach our children to express, or deal with in a socially appropriate manner as well..RIGHT! This is our responsiblity as parents.

My dad is a Psycologist, and I think I'll talk to him about the subject of "bullying." I'd really like to know more about this!
Sarain is offline  
Old 12-15-2006, 07:26 AM
 
chfriend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: in a red state
Posts: 4,560
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sarain, I'm really glad you are going to educate yourself about bullying. It might be very healing given your horrible experiences as a child. I was bullied and found it very helpful.

We had a situation in our neighborhood with a young girl, and reading up on it helped me form a plan to support my dd while contributing as much as possible to a positive atmosphere.

The book that helped me the most was the Coloroso book I mentioned earlier.

I do think "reading ahead" on development can help too. It's amazing how fast they change!

I've also learned a lot on this forum by listening to the moms whose kids are a little older than mine. It helps prepare me for the next challenge mine will be going through.

I'm glad you're feeling a little better.
chfriend is offline  
Old 12-16-2006, 06:31 PM
 
slightly crunchy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,361
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am with others in that this type of experimenting with aggressive talk seems really common in many of the 3 and 4 year old children we have been acquainted with. I think calling it "bullyig" is assuming negative intent on the part of these children and is going way too far.

I do remember what it was like to have one infant and have older, rough kids running around.

As to that situation the OP described, I think I would have said something if it was my 3 year old, but it might not have been right then so you would hear it and be placated. I would have saved that for a conversation on the way home from the meeting, so that I could a little more time explaining why we don't talk about hurting people in that instance (I think games of aggressive play among young children who are all exploring these themes and enjoying the game, are different). At the time, I probably would want to quietly take the child aside and direct them to another activity, to cause the least amount of disruption to the meeting as possible.
slightly crunchy is offline  
Old 12-16-2006, 06:59 PM
 
Mountaingirl3's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 410
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If I had been the mom of the baby or the three year olds, I would have said, "Yikes! That sounds scary. You guys are big boys so you need to keep babies safe. Do you have a toy to show him? Or can you make faces for him?"
Mountaingirl3 is offline  
Old 12-18-2006, 12:55 AM
 
Max'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,802
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewCrunchyDaddy View Post
Yes I will ... and that sort of behavior will not be tolerated and will be stopped immediately, and it's the sort of behavior that if I don't see, I would appreciate someone bringing to my attention because saying something like that is not acceptable.
I agree, but having a 35 month old.....oh there are days that as long as there is no screaming or physical injuries among kids....I call the day a rousing success

But I do think the moms should have said something. Is the LLL group one that goes w/ the 'it takes a village' mentality? I would probably ask the LLL leader, if this group is that way, them the moms may have been waiting for your response, and since you didn't show your expectations, they may have felt no actions were necessary.

I agree that I would expect to be told if my child did/said something inappropriate though. FTR, when on public I take the stance to verbally correct (albiet VERY gently) when children act inaproprietly towards or around my child.

Mama crochetsmilie.gifto Max blahblah.gif9, Neva hearts.gif 7, & Esme fairy.gif4 and Julius guitar.gif 2.

 
 
 

Max'sMama is offline  
Old 12-18-2006, 01:08 AM
 
Hazelnut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The thread caught my eye b/c I also don't think a 3yo can be a bully in the classic sense. I would definitely have said something had it been my son (if they didn't I can see why that upset you), and I remember what it's like to have a little baby and look at these seemingly out-of-control older children. But a lot of undesirable and yes, unacceptable behavior cannot just be "stopped immediately" end of story. You just deal with it the best you can. I'd probably have apologized, but at the same time I'd be upset if it became a big issue. Personally I find it hard to be around moms without toddlers at certain stages, b/c I am very careful and he is pretty gentle, and yet I still have felt looked down on at times for behavior that is totally age-appropriate, even if I dealt with it.
Hazelnut is offline  
Old 12-18-2006, 01:10 AM
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Kingston, NY
Posts: 932
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by natensarah View Post
I think this is way more appropriate than "That's not nice!" as many have suggested. Not only is "That's not nice!" a pretty judgement-laden statement, it's not very specific.

Whoa, hold the phone. "that's not nice" may be "judgement laden," but, well, telling someone you're going to cut their arms off ISN'T nice! I don't think three-year-olds understand "appropriate" or "acceptable," and even if they did, I don't see what's wrong with "that's not nice."
BetsyNY is offline  
Old 12-18-2006, 01:15 AM
 
Tuesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,274
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is an interesting thread, I had no idea how gruesome some 3 year olds can be! My DS is 3.5 year old and I admit he loves humour about poop and other related things but he's not yet advanced to the "heads off" and "sawing" a person in half. I'm interested to hear how widespread this sort of interest is!

The noise part - that sounds like typical 3 year old behaviour. My DS is very sweet but intense and when he's happy, he's HAPPY and LOUD and it's hard to 'quiet' without squelching his fun or creating a tantrum. Perhaps the moms just felt the La Leche meeting was a safe place for their kids to make noise and have fun.

I have a 5 month old baby and if I had overheard the 3 year olds threatening to saw my cutie baby in half, I'd have been creeped out too. (Although, apparently this sort of comment is normal - according to y'all. ) . Me, I'd have done something similar to some of the other suggestions: I'd have just walked over the 3 year olds, playacted a bit saying, "Saw my baby in half???? That sounds SCAREY! I don't think he'd like that. I don't like that either. SCARY!". But, I'd be smiling as I said this ... just as if it was all a big game - which to them, really, it is. And, then I'd walk away with and put my child in my lap. I admit that is not re-direction but it's likely what would happen if I was at a La Leche meeting and anxious to get back to my seat. I have to admit, I'm not that great about re-directing other people's kids. I'd rather just remove my child from the situation and let their parents deal with them as they see fit.
Tuesday is offline  
Old 12-18-2006, 01:22 AM
 
Hazelnut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You know I always questioned the violent speech I'd sometimes hear from older boys. I've yet to hear this kind of thing from my 3.5 yo, but things have gotten slightly more "violent" than the past, when "tomato in the hair" was as bad as it got. At one point his dinosaur ate his little people mechanic and it got a little graphic, and I have no idea where that came from, so never say never. I think it may have been in Ames and Ilg's Your Three Year Old where they talked about this type of violent talk as being very normal for this age, for both boys and girls-- well maybe not cutting off babies' arms, but just about general destruction.

For me it's two things- I agree with most pps about the normal 3yo stuff. But I do agree that sometimes parents don't seem to do anything to address the behavior, and it's annoying no matter how old your child is.
Hazelnut is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off