My DS is a beautiful, intelligent, happy little guy but incredibly stubborn. And I swear the child hates me.
My DF and I work opposite schedules so that DS does not need to be put in daycare. I work from 5a to 2p, get home at 2:30 and DF is gone from 3:30 to 1:30a. Because of our weird schedule, DS usually sleeps from 11p-midnight to 11a-noonish. What all this means is I work a 9 hour shift and come home to Declan by myself for the next 9 hours and then 4ish hours of sleep a night. My mother stays with us and will watch Declan from the time he gets up, with DF still sleeping, till the time I get home. She is going through a lot of emotional issues and prefers to answer those issue with alcohol, so after 6pm-ish she kinda hermits away in her room with a beer and is no help to me.
Okay, now that that's explained. *deep breath*
I don't know what to do with this little guy. Nothing makes him happy anymore. He will "play" by himself fairly well, but when he's done, by Jove, I should have there 3 minutes ago. And by play I mean he destroys everything. Last night he was playing quietly in the living room, which is almost completely baby-proof, save for the TV screen that he likes to bang on. I slipped into the office to organize and print out some homework. Not 5 minutes later I got a huge whiff of peppermint and Declan starts screaming. I come out and he has managed to get on the couch (never done that before), climb the back of the couch (ditto), crawl onto a cabinet behind that couch that's armpit level to me, get my reed diffuser, pour it in the fish tanks and rub it in his eyes. So now I've got two soon to be dying fish, one screaming baby with peppermint oil in his eyes and a huge mess. Within seconds of assessing the damage I was ready to explode. I personally have huge huge anger issues, but have never displayed them to Declan outside of the occasional raised voice
All this was near the end of the night, 11ish. Through the course of the day, he had resisted his nap to the point of puking all over the bed because he was screaming so hard, which caused him to cough till he puked. Everything was fine and he was almost asleep until he heard one of the cats. A 14 month old no longer has spitup, it was flat outright puke everywhere. Then I attempted to wrap some presents with him, but he only wanted to play with the scissors and the ink pen. When he couldn't have them, he melted down and screamed at me for a good 30 minutes. I don't know what else to do but ignore him at this point.
When he does these things talking is useless, he can't hear me over the angry screeching. He resists physical contact and will fight me until I put him down. He only does these things with me and is an angel with DF, my mum, MIL, etc.
On any given day he spends more time screeching at me then not, I spend more time clenching my jaw and counting to 10 with my eyes closed, and nothing gets done or fixed.
I am resentful that I am raising this baby much as a single mother would with no support network. When DF has Declan, they're sleeping or Grandma has the baby. DF gets to come home from work and has as many personal hours to himself as he wants because I have already put Declan to sleep. I don't get a single minute to myself. I'm so tired all the time that we co sleep during his only nap. The stress and lack of sleep has caused me to gain 50 pounds in the last year :Puke . Changing our schedule isn't even an option until sometime in February when we have a shiftbid - our seniority with our company basically dictates that we get what we want but not before then.
I'm so at the end of my rope and the whole situation seems so hopeless to me. I feel like nothing is going to change and AP and GD have made my life a living
. We've done everything GD.
I don't even know if there's much advice you guys can give me - I've lurked through the whole board. Maybe I just need someone to commiserate with me. Someone give me a hug.