handling dd's sensitivity - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 05-02-2003, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
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My little girl has always been pretty sensitive, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm handling it properly to help her learn to cope with difficulty situations. She'll stand her ground, but is very upset after the fact. I do try to empathise and "be there" for her.

She's 2.5 years old. Here's today's scenario:

At a playgroup today, children of various ages are playing with a number of balls. She has one, but one little 3 year old boy who's particularly aggressive insists that it's not hers, and keeps hitting it out of her hands. She holds her own, but cries and cries. At first, I tried to let her work it out on her own, and let her come to me when she was ready. She asks to nurse and we do. By the 3rd occurence, I go to console her, verbalising her upset, and telling her it's over and it's ok.

I don't want to play up the problem, or magnify her sensitivity to these situations. I also don't want to just leave her to fend for herself all the time. It just seemed to take a long time to calm her today.

Welcoming input and experiences...
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#2 of 3 Old 05-03-2003, 01:29 AM
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We've dealt with this problem many times.

I'd say you are VERY lucky. Here is a child with a keen sence of what is just and right.

Your job.

To interdict possible trouble.

If you know that a certain aother child is trouble/aggressive, hang around and prevent them from interfering. That's you job.

Don't spend your time chatting to other mums. You'll have to sacrifice that pleasure for a while.

If there is trouble from another child, it is not your daughter you should be consoling, but the perpetrator of the crime that you need to be confronting.

Hope this helps.


The anti-Ezzo king
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#3 of 3 Old 05-03-2003, 11:31 AM
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Help her more? I mean if you see this about to happen by a more "aggressive" child, then help her build resources to empower her.
In the case of something she is holding, I have stepped in (if i see the child, mine namely is not sure how to hold his own) and actually "helped" him hold onto it, looking at him and helping him find words to communicate to the other child.
I give no attention to the other child, I really believe the other child sees empowerment modelled and learns better from that than reprimand.

Ive seen the relieved look and energy after doing this.
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