O.M.G...help...they dumped every food out in the living room.... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 03:34 PM
 
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Wow. Just...Just....WOW! I would have definitely cried when I saw that. Many, many, many hugs to you, sweetie....

Any chance the doggie thinks a flour/cereal/whatever else combo is yummy?
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#62 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 03:37 PM
 
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Holy crap I think I might have exploded. I consider myself a patient person, but I think that might have put me over the edge. Hopefully you can look back in a few years and laugh. Good luck!

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#63 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 03:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by edamommy View Post
just so you know. I'm an insomniac. I survive on minimal sleep. when ds was an infant we would go DAYS w/o sleep. Sleep is indeed a luxury for me and I cannot imagine when I'll have enough again (maybe when he's 8??). Yes,its also necassary... but to think one wouldn't get up when the kids are up because one "needs more sleep"... ??? !
Way, way too harsh a response. I do believe that this board is a support board. I cannot survive on that little sleep, so please don't judge others by what you can do. If I go DAYS without sleep, I become seriously (as in clinically) depressed and anxious. The last time that happened, I ended up in the ER. So, if it was a choice of snoozing while the kids were watching TV in another room, the house locked, with a 2 and 5 year old? Yes, I would choose that over hospitialization, thank you very much.

Personally, I think the OP was magnificant in her response. The kids learned a lesson, they missed a playgroup because of cleaning up, they had to help clean up, and mom is thinking about how to do things differently.

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#64 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:01 PM
 
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I've only read part of the thread, so I don't know if this has been addressed.

Several people have said that the OP shouldn't be sleeping when her kids are awake. How, exactly, does one ensure that that doesn't happen? I used to get up with ds1 every morning. But, I can remember at least two occasions when I got up and went to check on him in his room, only to find him on the couch in the living room watching tv. He got up, I didn't hear him (being a sound sleeper, when I sleep), and he went into the living room, instead of into my room.

This doesn't really apply to the OP, as she said she was "dozing" and could hear bags rustling. But, I don't understand why people treat being overtired as a moral failing...or why it's just assumed that a sleeping adult will always know that a child has woken up. Needing to sleep doesn't make someone a bad parent...but not getting enough sleep might do so.

(FWIW, I averaged about 20 hours of sleep per week for the last couple of years I was with my ex. I was totally sleep deprived. My physical health suffered for it - months of serious illness, including fevers and infections. My mental health suffered for it - I became seriously depressed, and was suicidal for over a year. My family suffered for it - I had no patience, no energy and no ability to cope with the day-to-day trials of having children in the house - such as spills. I once sat on the floor crying for 10 minutes because I dropped a wooden spoon. Exhaustion is real. Asserting that people are somehow being delinquent in their parenting duties when they cannot function anymore is just mean, and accomplishes nothing.)

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#65 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:02 PM
 
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Oh, the wasted food! The mess! The energy and time it's going to take to clean it all up....I can totally empathize. I will admit to laughing when I saw those sweet little legs standing on the sofa---I'm only imagining they had been quite excited by their handywork for a time

If it helps you feel any better--when dd was a newborn, I was sitting down nursing her in another room. The boys (then almost five and 22 months) got a hold of an old *full* container of green food coloring that I think I'd used to put drops in their baths for a time...anyway, ds1 comes running in to show me---"Look, Mommy, Shrek!" I was like, uh??? Two GREEN children from hair to feet. When I walked in the bathroom where'd they'd been, I couldn't help but gasp and then crack up. It turned out they had dyed the entire white bathroom green. It stained their skin, hair, tile grout, the woodwork, the walls, the tub...: It was either laugh or start crying and prob. not stop! It was very overwhelming. Each time I cleaned the bathroom (not all that often ) I had a reminder of that day. Ah, joy. But we really do laugh about it now, and ds2 doesn't believe he would ever do something like that

Sending you many supportive hugs---you deserve to never have to sweep cereal again, ever

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#66 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by a-sorta-fairytale View Post
OMG! I am trying to keep dd from seeing the pic while i laugh...she would be one to get ideas about such a thing. I cannot imagine waking up to somethig like that!
Ooops. I didn't think of that, and dd has already seen the picture...

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#67 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:09 PM
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It is sad to read that so many moms would 'lose it'.
True Blue, sounds like you are doing your best.

FWIW- I was awake when my kids broke all the eggs in our bed and on each other. When they get an idea in their heads, they are fast. And, no, they don't always ask an adult first if their idea is safe or okay.
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#68 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Ooops. I didn't think of that, and dd has already seen the picture...

Hide the flour!
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#69 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:09 PM
 
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That looks like quite a bit of work and I probably would have lost my mind and had to have taken a walk to my bathroom to breathe, LOL.

But I agree with others that it would be unfair to punish them for this when ideally they should be supervised. That said, I am NOT saying you shouldn't sleep in ( I have done it with mine when i know the baby is with me but the older one isnt), but if that is the option you choose be prepared to be a bit more understanding with them. I think them helping you clean up until it was finished (even if it meant missing playgroup) was a perfect natural consequence. Other than that I would have a talk with them about wasting food. Then I would try to get things a bit more childproofed so there is less they can hurt themselves or mess they can make. Gates? Cabinet locks - those magnetic ones are neat and work well.

My 5 year old often gets up a bit before me and makes her own breakfast, etc... but she is 5 going on 6 and is just now starting to understand what things are dangerous and when she needs to ask for help. I think I would be more worried about the 2 year old, but maybe that is because I know I couldn't trust mine alone, LOL. She often climbs into the sink just to play in water and if I am not there will slip and fall.

I used to pull toys into our bedroom and just lock our bedroom door so that all the kids were in there with me (we coslept anyway). That way if they got up before me, they were contained in our room but still had toys to entertain themselves.
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#70 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:12 PM
 
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I often lurk in this forum - so many great ideas! - but I just had to post after I saw that picture. That's got to be one of the most spectacular messes I've ever seen!
(And fwiw, I that you handled the situation extremely well.)
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#71 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:13 PM
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My almost 3 year old used to get up REALLY early in the morning and sneak out of bed and do things like that. We ended up having to buy a lock and locking ourselves in our bedroom (we all co-sleep) at night so he couldn't escape in the morning. We're not rolling in money, so seeing all of that food get wasted stinks, I know.
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#72 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
Way, way too harsh a response. I do believe that this board is a support board. I cannot survive on that little sleep, so please don't judge others by what you can do. If I go DAYS without sleep, I become seriously (as in clinically) depressed and anxious. The last time that happened, I ended up in the ER. So, if it was a choice of snoozing while the kids were watching TV in another room, the house locked, with a 2 and 5 year old? Yes, I would choose that over hospitialization, thank you very much.

Personally, I think the OP was magnificant in her response. The kids learned a lesson, they missed a playgroup because of cleaning up, they had to help clean up, and mom is thinking about how to do things differently.
I agree that this is WAY too harsh. Great that you can be a very nice person on very little sleep. Good for you! I can't. I NEED sleep to be a nice person. Without sleep comes headaches and general crankiness that my children don't deserve! I need sleep to be a nice mommy, and my children need a nice mommy, therefore we all NEED me to sleep.

I think that this mommy needs constructive ideas on how to safely get more sleep, not a lecture.
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#73 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I've only read part of the thread, so I don't know if this has been addressed.

Several people have said that the OP shouldn't be sleeping when her kids are awake. How, exactly, does one ensure that that doesn't happen? I used to get up with ds1 every morning. But, I can remember at least two occasions when I got up and went to check on him in his room, only to find him on the couch in the living room watching tv. He got up, I didn't hear him (being a sound sleeper, when I sleep), and he went into the living room, instead of into my room.

This doesn't really apply to the OP, as she said she was "dozing" and could hear bags rustling. But, I don't understand why people treat being overtired as a moral failing...or why it's just assumed that a sleeping adult will always know that a child has woken up. Needing to sleep doesn't make someone a bad parent...but not getting enough sleep might do so.

(FWIW, I averaged about 20 hours of sleep per week for the last couple of years I was with my ex. I was totally sleep deprived. My physical health suffered for it - months of serious illness, including fevers and infections. My mental health suffered for it - I became seriously depressed, and was suicidal for over a year. My family suffered for it - I had no patience, no energy and no ability to cope with the day-to-day trials of having children in the house - such as spills. I once sat on the floor crying for 10 minutes because I dropped a wooden spoon. Exhaustion is real. Asserting that people are somehow being delinquent in their parenting duties when they cannot function anymore is just mean, and accomplishes nothing.)
Keep reading. People are brainstorming their hearts out to think of way OP can get the sleep she needs and her children can have the supervision they need.

No one has suggested that she just walk around exhausted and suck it up.
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#74 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:20 PM
 
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I didn't read the whole thread, but wanted to offer some advice...

DH and I sometimes stay in bed for a little while after ds gets up. We aren't sleeping, but relaxing or whatever. We close the gate that leads to downstairs and lock the bathroom door. We can still hear him and he only has access to his playroom and our bedroom. Could you have some kind of setup like that?
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#75 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:25 PM
 
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Keep reading. People are brainstorming their hearts out to think of way OP can get the sleep she needs and her children can have the supervision they need.

No one has suggested that she just walk around exhausted and suck it up.
I've finished the thread now.

The only suggestion I've seen that addresses the general issue of kids waking up before their parents is the idea of locking the kids into the parent's room.

Either you need a hook & eye type lock, or a doorknob lock. In our house, dh leaves way before the rest of us (including the kids) get up. If we used a hook & eye, he'd have to open it to leave, and then it would be unlocked. If we used a doorknob lock, dd could open it, unless it had a key. That means trusting that the key won't go missing, and leave us trapped in the bedroom.

I'm sure we're not the only family where dh leaves before everyone else gets up. So - how does someone make sure the door stays locked?

(In our case, dd isn't even in our room, which we could change, but won't. She sleeps much better without the rest of us in the room.)


It's not so much the specific case in this thread that bugs me. It's this "if you're tired, suck it up - that's part of being a parent" vibe that I've seen on here a few times lately. Anytime a parent is asleep when they "shouldn't be", the reaction from some people seems...weird. Being over-tired isn't the same thing as getting drunk or high - people can't help needing sleep. Sure - being tired is part of being a parent, but that seems to be carried over into the mindset that we should just ignore exhaustion or something...

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#76 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:44 PM
 
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I think everyone's bodies are different and different people can function on different amounts of sleep. Like I can survive on just a few hours of sleep and dh needs at least 6. I dont think it has anything to do with laziness, our bodies are just different.

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#77 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:45 PM
 
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I suggested naps for OP with supervision for the kiddos, an earlier bedtime for OP and reading Sleepless in America so OP can share a wonderful rested morning with her 2 and 4 year olds.
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#78 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:45 PM
 
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It is sad to read that so many moms would 'lose it'.
No, it's an honest response.

I'm sorry but I don't believe that most humans are capable of stifling their emotions entirely. I also don't think it's particularly harmful for a child to see her mother really angry ONCE IN A WHILE. People have emotions, and it's healthy to release them. It's OK to get angry, it's a totally valid emotion to have.

I'm not advocating screaming at a child, belittling them, or shaming them. But I don't think there's a darn thing wrong with expressing a strong, negative reaction to something as extreme like this. It's totally normal.

In fact, I think it would be unhealthy for many people in this situation to stuff a reaction down inside and simply say calmly "oh, would you look at that." This *was* a big deal. And while there may be some extremely laid back people that wouldn't be fazed by such an event, MOST folks will have a strong reaction.

That's human nature. And it's not bad parenting.
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#79 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:48 PM
 
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It's not so much the specific case in this thread that bugs me. It's this "if you're tired, suck it up - that's part of being a parent" vibe that I've seen on here a few times lately. Anytime a parent is asleep when they "shouldn't be", the reaction from some people seems...weird. Being over-tired isn't the same thing as getting drunk or high - people can't help needing sleep. Sure - being tired is part of being a parent, but that seems to be carried over into the mindset that we should just ignore exhaustion or something...

I agree. Sleep is a basic need.

Besides, this happens to every parent. Maybe not quite so dramatic. But, it does happen. My daughter learned to use scissors when she was two. So, she got up early and cut EVERYFLIPPIN thing that fit in her scissors. I was still finding scissor damage six months later.

This will be the topic of many family gatherings to come. It WILL be funny someday. Maybe even soon.
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#80 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:51 PM
 
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OMG!
I asked her why and she said "because i have to mom. Sorry"
:
That's hilarious!!!
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#81 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 04:58 PM
 
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Several people have said that the OP shouldn't be sleeping when her kids are awake. How, exactly, does one ensure that that doesn't happen? .)
Co sleep....
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#82 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 05:00 PM
 
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My two-year-old likes to make messes too - but none as spectacular as that! It's amazing how fast they can be. He threw about 8 eggs down the stairs while I put in a load of laundry. Lately he likes to siphon out the fish tank - it only takes a couple of minutes to get a few gallons all over the floor. Never had any such problems with my daughter - just my crazy, busy little boy. We seriously can't leave him alone for more than 30 seconds - he is THAT fast with the mayhem.

So yeah, we have lots and lots of locks in our house. And there's still more that we need to put on since he now climbs to get the unlocked ones higher up.

I think our kids will be excellent problem solvers, though!
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#83 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 05:01 PM
 
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It is sad to read that so many moms would 'lose it'.
When I said I would explode I didn't mean I would like beat my kids or something if that's how you're taking it. I meant I would sit in a corner and cry or something because that is going to be A LOT of work to clean up and her sofas couldve been ruined. I understand that kids like to have fun and experiment and all that, but they also need to learn to respect other people's belongings don't you think?

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#84 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 05:06 PM
 
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Co sleep....
I'm glad this works for you. Someone is always awake with my children because my partner doesn't leave for work until I'm up. But, there have been many, many times that my co-sleeping son (4.5) wakes up but my daughter is still sleeping and needs me there in order to keep sleeping (or vice versa). But, if my son stayed in the room, he would wake my dd. My point is, co-sleeping may work very well for you to keep your child(ren) supervised but everyone's situation and family is different. Please consider that things may be different than you experience before posting such a limited response.
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#85 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 05:12 PM
 
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Co sleep....
Not every one does this or has kids that will. DD coslept with us untill around 2 years and then declared her own space now even if she falls asleep with us she will wake and go into her own room she will not colseep. None of the doors lock around here anyways and cause its a rental we can't add any. She and DH are early risers I'm not. DH also likes going for early walks so he'll wake her up (with his noise) and then leave. When she was younger I'd go downstairs turn on Dora and kinda semi sleep while she played. Depending on her morning mood I do the same now. She wont get anything from the kitchen with out permisssion (just how she is) though so I don't really worry too much though any noise will get me checking.

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#86 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 05:14 PM
 
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Haha, too funny. I know, not really... but it reminds me of my aunt's picture of her triplets, they were covered head to toe in Desitin one day.

The judgment in this thread is sad.
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#87 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 05:17 PM
 
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Haha, too funny. I know, not really... but it reminds me of my aunt's picture of her triplets, they were covered head to toe in Desitin one day.
At least they wouldn't get sunburned!
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#88 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 05:18 PM
 
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Co sleep....
I've coslept with all of my kids. When I'm really, really tired, I can sleep right through one of them getting out of bed.

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#89 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Tot locks just plain can't be installed on the cabinets where the food is. Do I think they'd solve the problem anyways? Nope. For 2 reasons...one, DS would find the key, or we would not remember to put it somewhere "safe" every night....two, we would likely lose said key altogether and be starving in the morning!!!

Thanks for all the help and suggestions here...most have been understanding and helpful. And yeah it IS funny...and it will be even funnier once I'm done getting the couch covers done in the wash and scrubbing any more residue out of the carpet (there were a couple wet spots that now have "dough" stuck in them ).

Oh...in case anyone was wondering...I now I have proof that the Dyson DOES lose suction. I guess they didn't plan for someone to vacuum up about 15lbs of flour in one morning!!!!

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#90 of 164 Old 01-19-2007, 05:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mackysmama View Post
I'm glad this works for you. Someone is always awake with my children because my partner doesn't leave for work until I'm up. But, there have been many, many times that my co-sleeping son (4.5) wakes up but my daughter is still sleeping and needs me there in order to keep sleeping (or vice versa). But, if my son stayed in the room, he would wake my dd. My point is, co-sleeping may work very well for you to keep your child(ren) supervised but everyone's situation and family is different. Please consider that things may be different than you experience before posting such a limited response.
She asked for ideas...I offered mine. Please consider that things may be different than you experience before posting such a limited response.
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