Were YOU spanked as a child? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Were YOU spanked as a child?
Yes, I was abused 145 20.57%
Yes, I was spanked on a regular basis, but I wouldn't consider myself "abused." 131 18.58%
Yes, I was spanked several times a year 181 25.67%
Yes, I was spanked 1-4 times in my entire childhood 172 24.40%
Nope, I was never spanked. 60 8.51%
Other 16 2.27%
Voters: 705. You may not vote on this poll

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 08:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Poll will be up in a few minutes.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#2 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 09:01 PM
 
GooeyRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, I was spanked with leather belts on bare skin. I voted I was abused.
GooeyRN is offline  
#3 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 09:04 PM
 
Logan's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,453
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Yup. My father created a whip from electrical cords.
Logan's Mom is offline  
#4 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 09:07 PM
 
peacelovingmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 2,965
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nope, never. That I lack the impulse to hit my own children is likely due to the fact that hitting was never modeled for me. I am so grateful to my parents for making the decision not to hit us (despite the fact that they were both hit as children).
peacelovingmama is offline  
#5 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 09:10 PM
 
salmontree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: ravelry
Posts: 958
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I was around 3 or 4, my mother started spanking me with a wooden spoon. Apparently my father didn't like this and one day he saw the spoon sitting out so he picked it up and spanked my mother pretty hard on her butt as she walked by and when she said, "OUCH! why did you do that??" He said sternly, "That's how Stephanie feels." She never spanked me again. Yay Dad!

~Stephanie )O(

DS- 07/01 & DD- 09/05 & DD- 12/07 & DS- 10/13

salmontree is offline  
#6 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 09:16 PM
 
ReuseCrafter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dearborn, MI
Posts: 286
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I voted abused too I was actually taken away from my parents, and went into foster homes, a residential treatment center and a girls group home. Oh, and "protective custody" in juvenile detention. I got sent back to my parents at age 16 -- not a smart move on the part of the juvenile courts. I moved out and was emancipated at 17 when I graduated from high school.
ReuseCrafter is offline  
#7 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 09:17 PM
 
Spark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Prodromal Labor Island Ambassador
Posts: 11,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My parents were very AP before that was a term. I coslept, selectively vax'd (they noticed I reacted to one & stopped entirely), child led weaned... and yet, when my parents got a divorce, I really think my father was struggling with parenting. I... okay, how to say this... got caught at 3 having "sex" with the neighbor boy. My father didn't know what to do. He spanked me and then later appologized. It was awful to be raised AP and then spanked. It was like my whole world was coming down on me.

Spark and her four firecrackers.
Spark is offline  
#8 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 09:28 PM
 
smalltownmom3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: OK
Posts: 118
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was spanked, but I certainly don't consider it abuse. And yes, I am just fine.
smalltownmom3 is offline  
#9 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 09:30 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I voted "other". I think I was spanked about 6-8 times throughout my childhood - nowhere near several times a year, but more than 1-4.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#10 of 206 Old 01-28-2007, 09:31 PM
 
sarathan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I voted 1-4 times in my entire childhood, but I honestly can't really remember how much I was spanked. I know it wasn't alot. It was always out of anger though and it didn't teach me a darn thing, at least nothing positive.

Sara Mama to DS (6) and DS (4)
sarathan is offline  
#11 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 01:10 AM
 
NiteNicole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 4,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
None of those really fit me. I was spanked occasionally, it was NOT my parents' only method of discipline, and I don't feel it was abuse. I'm not angry or resentful or damaged. And I don't spank.
NiteNicole is offline  
#12 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 01:18 AM
 
angelcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,574
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I picked spanked several times a year, but one of the options fit. It was only a few times a year, and it was not abuse.
angelcat is offline  
#13 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 01:23 AM
 
Naughty Dingo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: controlled chaos baby
Posts: 3,226
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was spanked often with a wooden spoon or hairbrush. In the past I have never considered it abuse, but if I did it to my kids I would consider it abuse.......

ND

Mama to 3 daughters, expecting #4chicken3.gif

Naughty Dingo is offline  
#14 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 01:34 AM
 
Phoenix_Rising's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In my head
Posts: 3,184
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I voted never, but I do remember my brother and my sister being spanked with a wooden spoon.

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
Phoenix_Rising is offline  
#15 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 02:14 AM
 
phathui5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,479
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I voted 1-4 times. I don't remember my brother ever being spanked, so either my mom decided it didn't work or my brother just never got in trouble.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
phathui5 is offline  
#16 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 02:24 AM
 
mwherbs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 5,575
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
belts, hands, shoes, sticks, fly swatters, brushes and not just spanked slapped backhanded shook,held down and forced to eat things or else be stabbed, things thrown at us all in anger and often in drunken anger- that is abuse
only one broken bone for me ---
my brother had a fork that was thrown at him stick into his foot -luckily none of the knives stuck...

our younger sister was not hit but watched all this - made her crazier trying to stay in the never get hit zone...

I decided to never hit my kids because of my experience- and it was tough in the begining because I did have the feelings the overwhelming feelings and there was really no help out at the time- I had a LLL friend of mine tell me if I shared my feelings with others they would not associate with me! for many around me it was easy because they did not have the background- I found being at LLL meetings and other parenting support groups to be invaluable.
mwherbs is offline  
#17 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 02:33 AM
 
treemom2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Belgium
Posts: 3,823
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarathan View Post
I voted 1-4 times in my entire childhood, but I honestly can't really remember how much I was spanked. I know it wasn't alot. It was always out of anger though and it didn't teach me a darn thing, at least nothing positive.
Me too and I remember most of the time it just didn't make any sense to me! My older brother however was abused by our bio dad. . .we were treated very differently.

Barbara:  an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.

treemom2 is offline  
#18 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 02:45 AM
 
2much2luv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Like I'd tell you.
Posts: 6,660
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was spanked regularly, not abused. I struggle with the urge to spank my own children.
2much2luv is offline  
#19 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 06:53 AM
 
Alexander's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Just moved to Framingham, MA
Posts: 1,547
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
never spanked. Mum told dad right after they were married, "raise a hand to me or the kids, we leave. No second chances."

We were never spanked. Dad got real angry sometimes when we outwit his point, or talked back, or did not listen. But it was good for hime to "undo" his own spanked chilhood.

come to think of it, we were never punished in any way what-so-ever. Guess that is why we are all so successful in our adult lives.

as

The anti-Ezzo king
Alexander is offline  
#20 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 07:20 AM
 
moppity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 297
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was spanked a few times (according to my Mum) moreso as a 'reaction' than anything else, she has since said that she cried more than I did.
moppity is offline  
#21 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 07:57 AM
 
lioralourie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: A Frum Jew in China
Posts: 836
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
sister and I were 6 and 4. Mom and Dad went out, something they did VERY rarely. We had a babysitter, and were not being watched carefully. We went upstairs to play.

We decided to "make green play doh" out of prell shampoo (hey, it's green!) and some cheap cologne of Dad's in a green bottle, and loads and loads of baby powder. We got them ALL over the hardwood floors upstairs, in all the bedrooms, etc.

We had a choice, to give up Halloween trick or treating, or to get our one and only spanking and still be able to go trick or Treating. Well, we chose the spanking, duh!

I don't recall the spanking. But I do recall hearing my sister getting hers and it made me mad as hell. I hated my father at that moment even though I'm sure the "spanking" was really tame.

Our parents were pretty progressive, really, we were lucky.

Liora, Frum Jew In Beijing, Mom of Three (one "Almost Autistic" healed in 3 years with biomed and one amazing girl with Down syndrome using Targeted Nutritional Intervention (TNI)
lioralourie is offline  
#22 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 08:04 AM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,794
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was spanked not tons but plenty of times but I in no way shape or form consider myself to have been abused.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
#23 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 08:10 AM
 
Roxswood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: U.K.
Posts: 1,067
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was spanked fairly often as a child. I don't consider it to have been abuse, but I do consider it to have been insensitive and ineffective parenting. I wasn't a naughty child, I never needed spanking and would have always made a much bigger effort to behave if my Mum had just talked to me about why we didn't do something than the times she spanked me. That just made me feel unhappy and bullied and I wanted to do mean things afterwards.
Roxswood is offline  
#24 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 10:22 AM
 
because's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: here
Posts: 2,104
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was hit regularly - butt, face, arms - but never hard enough to be called physical abuse. I was a spirited child and now I totally get how Mom lost her temper. However, it taught me early and well that to get what you want or when you're mad, it's OK for big people to hit little people. So unfortunately, my little brother got it from me...

Before we had kids I swore I would never, never hit my kids. Well, now I have a spirited DD and I understand Mom better than ever. BUT, I have kept my promise for four, crazy years and have never hit her (or even been close to the edge).

It ends with ME! Yay!
because is offline  
#25 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 10:27 AM
 
luv my lil pearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New England
Posts: 440
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I chose other -- I wouldn't say that I was spanked "several" times a year -- but I was spanked more than 4 times in my life.

I would say I was spanked maybe a "few" times a year...some years not at all.
luv my lil pearl is offline  
#26 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 10:28 AM
 
AppleCrisp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,525
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep, mostly with a wooden spoon. And it was totally ineffective....just made me sneaky and confused. I knew it wouldn't hurt that bad so I would just do whatever I wanted knowing that the spanking was coming but I didn't care.
AppleCrisp is offline  
#27 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 10:34 AM
 
herbanmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: over yonder
Posts: 552
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Abused; Hair-pulling, kicking, whipping with switches, belt (buckle of course), spoons, paddle, hairbrush (or beaten in the head with it), force-fed, slapping, punching, slammed into walls, doorways, etc.

...Though my mother seems to have a very selective memory of our (myself and siblings) childhood, and denies that it ever went that far. The last time I tried to discuss it with her, she got very angry and accused my sister and I of exaggerating and playing the 'victim'.
herbanmama is offline  
#28 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 10:35 AM
 
talk de jour's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 2,662
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, and I consider it abuse.

babyf.gif

talk de jour is offline  
#29 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 10:41 AM
 
Canadianmommax3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,937
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I remember once i was spanked on my bare butt in front of my brother, they made this whole production of it being done, and right in the kitchen!!
Once with a belt for leaving my belt in my pants and throwing them in the laundry. Those are the only two times i remember. I do recall both my mother and stepmother slapping me across the face at seperate times.

My stepmother and father where both teachers so i had to write out what i had done wrong a hundred times, this was more common or getting the silent treatment or not getting dinner for a week or having to stand in the kitchen until i would apoligize for something, (i was so stubborn i would stand there for hours)
Canadianmommax3 is offline  
#30 of 206 Old 01-29-2007, 10:46 AM
 
Canadianmommax3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,937
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lioralourie View Post
sister and I were 6 and 4. Mom and Dad went out, something they did VERY rarely. We had a babysitter, and were not being watched carefully. We went upstairs to play.

We decided to "make green play doh" out of prell shampoo (hey, it's green!) and some cheap cologne of Dad's in a green bottle, and loads and loads of baby powder. We got them ALL over the hardwood floors upstairs, in all the bedrooms, etc.

We had a choice, to give up Halloween trick or treating, or to get our one and only spanking and still be able to go trick or Treating. Well, we chose the spanking, duh!

I don't recall the spanking. But I do recall hearing my sister getting hers and it made me mad as hell. I hated my father at that moment even though I'm sure the "spanking" was really tame.

Our parents were pretty progressive, really, we were lucky.
oh that reminds me, one year i didn't do well on my report card(again) and i had to chose between not having my birthday or Christmas (my birthday is 3 days before christmas) so i chose not to have a birthday that year.
Canadianmommax3 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off