to you. i'll try to keep this brief because i'm trying to limit my computer time. i've been using it as decompression time and i think it's become too much of a crutch and i could find a better outlet (meditation, exercise, etc), but that has NOTHING
T to do with your question.
anyway, i can relate in a lot of ways to your post. my dd is very snuggly, too
. i'm trying not to use the "clingy" word about her 'cause i don't want to think of her that way and put any negativity on her. (was that even close to grammatically correct?) she's 27mo. i still can't close the door when i go to the bathroom unless dh is home and playing with her. i certainly couldn't at 16mo, even if he was home. half the time if i do sort of pull it mostly shut the darn dog noses it open so i don't get any privacy anyway! i gave up on it a long time ago.
it was really hard at first because she wasn't at all the kind of baby i thought i'd have
: . i could never put her down. when she was little someone else could hold her for awhile, but there came a time when it was only mama. i fought it for a bit, but it was better when i just gave in to it. i think i read advice to that effect on these boards. that and the advice dr sears has about a need unmet during childhood just surfaces later as some other kind of need. so i just do my best to give her what i've got to give and it takes less effort on my part than fighting it when i can.
for example, today she was just incessantly begging to nurse after nursing and nursing in the bed when we woke up. my nipples are sensitive 'cause i'm pregnant now and i told her no that we'd had enough and it hurt and it just made her howl! we went potty and let the dogs out and back in and fed them (with protest on the part of dd all this time) and by then my poor nipples had somewhat recovered so we nursed some more and she was much happier. i think just the idea of "no, you can't have" it was what set her off. after a brief outing this morning i remembered some advice i had read here or got at LLL or somewhere and told her she could have as much milk milk as she wanted and she climbed up and nursed for about 20 minutes and fell asleep in my lap a much happier girl. i was able to put her down in the bed (that's something else i couldn't do when she was littler -- i had to be in the bed with her or she'd know i was gone and wake up) and have a little me time (which i have frittered away on the computer
: ). i think as kids we sense when our parents are trying to pull away and that just makes us need them that much more desperately. as parents, if we can take a deep breath and dig a little deeper and open ourselves up more our kids can then feel secure enough to let go and not desperately cling to us. does that make any sense? i didn't come up with it, but it resonated with me.
i know it's more difficult in your situation since you're working from home. i don't work from home, so i don't have to contend with having
to get stuff done. that must be hard.
our house is a pigsty, but dd will help out now if i ever get around to breaking out the broom to do a little sweeping. i love the sig someone has on here --"my idea of house cleaning is sweeping the room with a glance." that's our place! :LOL
we nurse a lot and i hold her a lot. i learned i can do amazing things one handed, although my dd holding shoulder has been giving me grief for the past two weeks. i can cook, sweep, vacuum (although dd hates it right now, so i usually sweep), etc.
it does get better, though. she plays happily with her toys now while i cook supper (my break) and will often entertain herself during the day while i'm working on something nearby. she gets bored with me sitting down and being on the computer, though (another reason to limit it) and often asks to nurse. she loves going out and going shopping.
: i'm not much of a shopper, so i think if there's something genetic there it must be dh's side of the family.
when things are getting to be just too much, can you take a break and instead of giving yourself a time out in your room take dd for a short stroll outside? my dd has always loved going outside and it's good for my psyche, too.
have you posted in the "finding your tribe" section? i hooked up with some great mamas and kids that way and we've since expanded our playgroup a lot. i know i could count on one of them if i needed desperately to leave dd with someone. i never have, but i know i could and could feel confident that she was doing her best by dd.
another thing that might help is looking into getting a mama's helper -- a teenager or other mom or whoever who could come over and play with dd while you did some work, but were still there at the house.
home some of this helped