what do i do? any ideas? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 05-23-2003, 01:59 PM - Thread Starter
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I have a problem with DH but not sure how to handle? We met when my oldest son was 3, he is 9 now, we also have 2 children together. When we met, I coslept with my son and did alot of other AP things , except I FF (I have learned alot since then). Anyway, things were great when we were dating, he was great with my son and I thought I had found the greatest guy. Well, fast forward 6 years and 2 kids later. He has absolutly no patience with the boys, our daughter is only 16 months, but lately I have seen him getting mad at her for normal behavior ie: getting into things. He has spanked our sons and he yells at them alot and talks down to them. I have tried everything I can think of to get him to see what he is doing to them. Are there any books or websites that I can send/give to him or anything to say that may change his ways??? It is driving me crazy and I want it to stop NOW. It is one of our major arguements, he just does not seem where I am coming from and thinks that spanking is the answer even though both boys have done exactly what they got spanked for again. I think taking things from them, time outs, making them stay in there room, talking to them about what they did, etc. So any suggestions before I lose it???? :
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#2 of 2 Old 05-23-2003, 07:39 PM
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hold strong to your values as a mother and let no one including your husband stray you otherwise. you are your children's biggest advocate on this planet.

i don't believe in "changing" people. seems odd he was so accepting of your ways early on but has now fallen back. maybe it's because things are tougher now with three children.

his abusive past isn't helping. although that makes some people commit to never doing that to their children, other people (like maybe your husband) simply do what they know when it comes to parenting.

maybe it's my personality, but i like to think it's my committment to being a mom, but i would not allow ANYONE to treat my children in abusive ways. i would stand firm to your morals as a mother. any arguments about the way you parent should take place away from the children.
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