dealing with a 2 year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 05-24-2003, 03:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How do you deal with all the little frustrations that a 2 year old brings? I am just so tired of it taking an hour to get out the door, or my daughter doing the same thing that I keep telling her not to do (and guiding her away from), or argh! all the other things, you know what I mean. I am finding myself speaking rather harshly to her or grabbing her arm to get her to comply, but, of course, this doesn't work. I am desperately trying to avoid becoming my mother who relied on spanking and yelling, which still affects me to this day. Any suggestions will be appreciated.
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#2 of 8 Old 05-24-2003, 08:53 AM
 
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Hi Julie128! Dd is 22 months and we have practiced GD exclusively so far. I don't have any advice, I'll be waiting for the other reponses, but I wanted to tell you I understand how you feel! Dd appears so capable, and I feel like I've been saying "not for babies" and redirecting forever! Sometimes I can't understand why she doesn't remember and follow my instructions, even though I know she's still very much a baby, and other times I really wonder if I'm doing this right...

Anyway, I hear ya!

Jen
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#3 of 8 Old 05-24-2003, 09:08 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by julie128
I am just so tired of it taking an hour to get out the door, or
Sheesh lady! It only takes you an hour???

Man! It still takes us an hour, and mine are 4 and 7!


The answers though to your general frustration are 3 fold:

1) Plan ahead. Really plan ahead. Get the infrastructure ready and well oiled.

2) Childproof your dwelling against danger, then allow your tyke to do whatever they want. Not only that, praise and join in.

3) Read some of my posts to get an angle on why this works.

a

The anti-Ezzo king
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#4 of 8 Old 05-24-2003, 06:08 PM
 
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Hi,

Just want to say that I relate to your frustration. I'm just so committed to being respectful, patient, and understanding to the nature of my dds that I hold strong to my philosophies. But it can be SO darn frustrating at times. We fellow moms know how it can be and hold in highest regards those of us who stick to what's right. I too am from a home where control, disrespect, and spankings were frequent. There's no way I will ever allow negative parenting to erode my relationship and bond with my dds no matter how frustrated I may get. I also believe that much of the frustrating behaviors of my dds will one day turn into some of their biggest strengths. Hang in there...you have my empathy for the hard times and my admiration for holding true to your loving compassionate ways.
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#5 of 8 Old 05-24-2003, 06:57 PM
 
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One thing that helps me is to constantly check my mental perspective. 2 year olds could care less about your schedule, or about being "productive" in the way that we expect to be. I try to remind myself that his job is to learn to explore, negotiate, question... all these things make him a smarter kid in the long run. *My* job is to help him learn all these things. That means I can think of that hour it took to get to the door as "productive" in the sense that it helped him grow. I can look back on my behavior during that time and check it off my mental "to do" list. Being patient with him is every bit as much of an accomplishment as whatever errands I had to post-pone, probably more!

Now, thats what I strive for. I'm not saying I don't feel impatient! I do. Lots.
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#6 of 8 Old 05-24-2003, 09:21 PM
 
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What works for us (usually ) is to make everything a game. When washing his face (a dreaded chore for him) I usually will yell "I'm gonna wash you HEHEHEHEHE" and chase him down like a madwoman and try to get a few scrubs of the cheek in. To get him dressed I approach it the same way, something like "I'm gonna shirt you (pant you, sock you)" and he squeals and runs while I grab him and attempt to put on the various items. If he squirms and wiggles away I threaten to get him and tickle or blow on his belly with a "that's what ya get for wiggling". It takes a lot of time and energy, but considerably less then when he protests or procratinates. Many days I don't really want to go through the whole production, but force myself because it helps us get out the door and usually gets him in a better frame of mind (which is necessary for errand running anyway). I also let him do as much as possible himself. We have given him the responsibility of unlocking and opening the car door (which works to get him that far). I get his help collecting snacks and toys for the road. I also encourage him to bring his favourite bear so that he can hurry and get bear to the car, or in his seat, etc.

This strategy works for many frustrations throughout the day. A combination of games and silliness and letting him do as much as possible himself eliminates many battles (which is sooo necessary being that he is super spirited, very persistant, and amazingly frustrating child when he wants to be). I know this probably doesn't help much, but at least you know your not the only one

Laurie


 

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#7 of 8 Old 05-28-2003, 12:11 PM
 
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About the face washing thing I found a great rhyme that makes ds want to have his face washed and laughs while I do it and even asks me to do it again. I think I got it from Dr. Sears or maybe the Mommy and Me Book:

Here sits Lord Mayor (wash the forehead)
And his two men (the eyes)
Here sits the cock (rt. cheek)
And Here sits the hen (left cheek)
Here's all the chickens (nose)
Now watch them run in
Chin, chopper, chin, chopper, chin, chopper, chin! (chin and mouth)

My dh totally made fun of me hearing it the first time but he loves it b/c it works!
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#8 of 8 Old 05-29-2003, 02:41 AM
 
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mamaduck, if you shorten your post down enough to turn it into one of those nifty little insprational refridgerator magnets, i will buy twenty. why do i forget this more often than i remember?
my mantra is: nurturing dd's inquisitive nature is more important than my errand, nurturing dd's inquisitive nature is more important than my errand......she is two and a half, by the way. it's been especially hard lately.
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