Hoping to find some support... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-26-2007, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is more of an intro, really. I'm a mom of three kiddos, ages 2, 5 and 7. I'm recently single (well, as of August of last year), and am just trying to get back to normal, iykwim. My irl friends have been supportive, but they are all pretty mainstream and there is a little tension there. Mainstream here is a little less than gentle. I often find myself in a position where I either have to defend my decisions (which include stuff like homeschooling (more like unschooling), delayed vaxing, no circ, gentle/ap mothering...or just smile and nod. Sometimes I have something come up...an issue with the kids that's just driving crazy and I could use some input, or a sympathetic ear, but when I share with my irl friends I usually get the "that's what you get for not spanking" attitude. What I'm looking for are more creative solutions, not the one size fits all "if they don't behave punish them" approach.

I'm sure I'll be on here alot, if not to ask for some opinions or advice, then to offer mine, however helpful it may or may not be. We don't have any real big issue we're dealing with right now...it's not a matter of anything being wrong really, just a whole lot of things that just aren't quite right. I've realized that the more I'm exposed to mainstream 'ideals', the less patience I tend to have with my kids; and the less patience I have, the more they try it. I'd like to get back to a place where everyone's a bit happier.
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#2 of 7 Old 02-26-2007, 03:43 PM
 
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Welcome! You'll find lots of suggestions here, and lots of sympathy as well.

"I've realized that the more I'm exposed to mainstream 'ideals', the less patience I tend to have with my kids; and the less patience I have, the more they try it."

That's very true, very profound. I needed that reminder, thanks.
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#3 of 7 Old 02-26-2007, 05:03 PM
 
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Welcome! This is a great place to get support and ideas!

~Tracy

Rockin' mama to Allison (9), Asher (5) and Alethea (3), head over heels in love with my sexy husband, Tony.

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#4 of 7 Old 02-26-2007, 05:09 PM
 
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Welcome!

I'm occasionally surprised by a "non GD" comment IRL- like a friend saying (about her almost 12yos recently pierced ears, after lots of begging by the child) "she knows that if she misbehaves, I can remove the earrings, and then she can't get them pierced again for a year."

I just don't "get" this "parenting through fear" thing. I don't want my children afraid of me- I want them to behave well because they want to do good! Sure, I get frustrated at times, but not so much that I want to frighten my children!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#5 of 7 Old 02-26-2007, 08:15 PM
 
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Welcome! Nice to have you here

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3lilmonsters View Post
I've realized that the more I'm exposed to mainstream 'ideals', the less patience I tend to have with my kids; and the less patience I have, the more they try it.
Great point! I'm the same, and this place is wonderful for me!

Becky, partner to Teague, SAHM to Keagan (7yo), Jonah (2yo)
 

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#6 of 7 Old 02-26-2007, 10:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the warm welcome
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#7 of 7 Old 02-27-2007, 05:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3lilmonsters View Post
the more I'm exposed to mainstream 'ideals', the less patience I tend to have with my kids; and the less patience I have, the more they try it. I'd like to get back to a place where everyone's a bit happier.
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