My dh grew up in a very disfunctional household. He does not handle frustration well and is very easily frustrated and when he is frustrated, he is disrespectful of me. This has always upset me and I have brough it up time and time again to no avail. But it used to happen infrequently enough that it was easier to overlook.
: Lately, for whatever reason (and none of them truly having to do with me), dh has been frustated with me at some point everyday and has been quite inappropriate in his behavior towards me in front of ds. (Visibly impatient, snappy, etc) Tonight we had some friends over and ds wanted more space on the couch and his friend wasn't quite understanding what ds was communicating and then, out of ds's mouth, in exacty the tone (the tone which says, you're such an idiot) I'd heard earlier in the week from dh, pops, a disgusted and exasperated, "jeeze". For all awful feelings that come when dh treats me this way, this was like a knife in my heart.
I tried to talk to dh about it, for as much as he can be impulsive and self absorbed, he does wish to teach ds a better way to be. But, I am not hopeful, as I've tried for years now to let dh know that this is an unaccepatable way to communicate.
This is so important and I feel like it is out of my hands since ds sees dh as his rolemodel. I guess I am here seeking advice on 1) ways to help dh get it and 2) any possible ways to help guide ds away from this behavior even if dh cannot.
I should add that ds and dh adore eachother and dh devotes tireless hours playing with ds and has this amazing ability to intuitively understand what he needs (as I do). But why can he then be so awful to me?