Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: orbiting the earth
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sounds like a typical four-year-old to me...sorry if that isn't too encouraging!
I think there are two issues here - meeting your child's growing need for autonomy and also teaching her that she needs to follow the rules you set.
As far as meeting her needs for autonomy, I would try very hard to pick your battles wisely and allow her to make decisions for herself whenever possible.
For the times when you do have to lay down the law, it helps to give an explanation and involve her in the rule-making, too. I've found that making an inanimate object, such as khrisday's menu idea, responsible for the rules rather than yourself works really well.
When she deliberately disobeys you, that's another issue. I find that simply expressing my disappointment, and sometimes imposing a logical consequence, works well.