Thanks for posting, I understand that you were simply posting looking for like-minded parents, I think you found more than you realize, as many of us, are off-put by the questions I am, like how do children learn about other's needs, the only clarification I have gotten, is that I may have misunderstood, that no one here (maybe?) is implying that one child's needs come before other people in the family.
The idea that eveyone will be happy all the time if everyone is respected might be pie in the sky and it might too be optimistic people, like someone mentioned that it is working fine in their house, no one is doing things they don't want to and everything still gets done. I do believe that can work for families where someone enjoys doing the dishes
I am serious about that. I do not enjoy doing the dishes and neither does my dh, no we don't hate it, and I tell myself often that I should be thankful for dirty dishes as it shows we are eating. But, alas, dh and I split the duty that we both really dislike, for the good of our family. Oh, I also don't really love cleaning the toilet, I don't even remotely like it, but I do it. So, in our house, we do things that we don't enjoy for the betterment of the family, and I hope that by seeing dh and I do things that we don't love, for the family, our kids will grow up and have homes where they do the dishes and clean the toilets
, wishful thinking? maybe. Anywho, I am just saying maybe were just not positive enough people, that we don't like to do those things, maybe in some families, all things are happy things. Sorry, I just had to address the idea that anyone can (I understand some could) live life doing only things that they enjoy, or don't mind doing, etc.
Now, I think I understand where you are coming from on permissive parenting, you don't like how the term is perceived, or societies determination to call parents that who are uncaring. I am assuming that you don't disagree with the actual term, but more the connotations of it?
I have said before, I agree with everything on the post except the idea that children who do not want to go somewhere will not have to go, I mean, sure if there is no good reason to go, and no other person in the family really wants to go, or someone is willing to stay home to care for them, or they are old enough to be home alone, etc. then ok, but I can't see how that works (and I've yet to hear that it does) with multiple children all the time, an ideal? Yes. A constant reality? Probably not.
So, I think my questions have been answered and I can agree with most of it
But, I have said before, I have really easy and agreeable children so far, and we rarely have any problems with anything listed above, certainly not daily, or even weekly, and there always seems to be a way to help my children through things that they might not at first be thrilled about, although that may not be TCS, to try to convince them even.
Thanks though for trying to answer my questions.