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I also am a little suspect of the day care home. It has been two bad fits in a row. I've had an in house daycare for almost 12 years and can understand the ebb and flow of stages and personalities. Yet I have a hard time understanding 1) how you being referee at the end of the day is going to instill respect in your ds for the teacher 2) isn't your dcp responsible for setting out meals and snacks at different intervals throughout the day. I can't imagine the teacher's emotions getting so out of hand. Is it possible that your ds can spend his time with the main caregiver? Maye be a helper to her. If you can't switch care, it might be helpful to put some distance between ds and the "J".
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