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Once I lowered my expectations of Owen, it helped immensely. If I feel that my son is not acting age appropriate, then I start to blame my parenting. When I start to blame myself for his behavior I am more likely to lose my cool. I see kids who are soooooo well behaved, and I start comapring Owen with them in my mind. But most of those "Super Kids" are disciplined harshly and are too afraid to test boundaries etc
Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)
I'm always reading threads from fed up moms of 2 and 3 year olds, who say their kids run amok and make messes and get into everything, and I think, that's not misbhavior, that's toddlerhood. All you have to do at that phase is create a safe environment and just wait it out.
Now I need someone who has older kids to tell me if what my 4 year old is doing is normal. Because she is driving me crazy! I admit, I am 7 weeks pregnant, exhausted, and pukey, so my patience level is not what it should be.
Here is a general run down:
She is bossy! She constantly tells people what to do and how to do it. "You have to wrap the baby (doll). No mom! Do it like that! NO! Spread it this way first! No! Like this!"
She hates to be helped. If I buckle her carseat for her instead of letting her buckle it and then checking it, she has a conniption. "No! I was going to do that!" Yesterday she wanted to push the cart at the grocery store and she kept almost bumping into people and things, and when I put my hand on the cart to help her steer she would yell "NO! I am doing it!"
She is demanding. For example, "Scratch my back." So I do, for a minute and when I stop, she says, "No! More scratches!" and when I say no, mommy's done, she has a fit.
She is oversensitive. She is always loudly proclaiming "You hurt my feelings!" when somebody refuses to bow to her bossiness, or "OWWWW! You HURT me!" if someone gives her the slightest bump or jostle.
She is selfish. For example, we share a bed, and when I ask her politely to move over because mommy and daddy need more room she says, "No! You move over! You're squishing me!" As she lays sideways taking up half of the king sized bed.
And, of course, she lies. But I KNOW that's develpmental.
This is all either brand new, within the last few months behavior, or it has just recently escalated to the point where I am ready to throttle her. And no, she does not know I am pregnant yet. I'm waiting until the 12 week mark to tell her.
I am wondering if my dad is right, that by not using spankings or time outs, I have created a spoiled, demanding little monster. Somebody help me!
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