Peeing on the floor on purpose! - Mothering Forums
Gentle Discipline > Peeing on the floor on purpose!
Wabi Sabi's Avatar Wabi Sabi 04:14 PM 06-22-2007
My ds, who is just shy of 3 yrs. old, has been out of diapers for quite a while. He pretty much potty trained himself overnight and almost totally on his own- one day he randomly asked me to take off his diaper so he could go poop on the potty and since that day he's been in underwear full-time. So, it was obviously a very no-pressure, low-key kind of thing that he initiated completely on his own.

He's gone months with only very rare accidents. Then suddenly, just completely out of the blue, he's started peeing on the floor on purpose. It clearly isn't an accident and he takes immense pride in the puddles of pee he's been leaving around the house. You can tell that he gets a thrill out of it and he laughs hysterically everytime.

I've tried to get him to help me clean it up with no luck. I asked him if he wanted me to get his diapers back out and he is adament that he does not wear diapers anymore.

Any suggestions on the best way to deal with this?

Thanks.

elizawill's Avatar elizawill 04:27 PM 06-22-2007
ha ha, i know it's not funny...but your post made me laugh! my ds (also 3) is very similar, but he just recently potty trained. i just remind him where he needs to go and leave it at that. my ds doesn't do it on purpose, but he does find his puddles amusing as well. it won't last...he'll return to the potty full-time soon. that's about all i can tell you except...keep spot shot on hand...it's the best on carpets!!
mamaduck's Avatar mamaduck 10:35 AM 06-23-2007
I don't want to assume that you are married -- I have no idea. But, if his father is in your life, you might ask him to speak to him about how men and boys need to use their penises responsibly! I dunno why exactly, but this is an example of the sorts of behaviors that I defer to DH, and he is able to address more effectively.
Magella's Avatar Magella 11:05 AM 06-23-2007
My son experimented with peeing on the floor in various places when he was around the same age as your son, long after he'd stopped wearing diapers (he learned to use the potty on his own just before he turned 2). The way we dealt with it was to just say-in a very neutral tone-something like "oh, pee goes in the potty. Next time pee in the potty." Then we'd wipe it up ourselves.

My youngest also went through a very similar thing just before she turned 3, also months after she'd stopped wearing diapers. She'd just hold her pee, refuse to go when we'd reminder when we'd see her squeezing her legs together to hold it, then pee on the floor. Again, what worked best was to simply say "remember, pee goes in the potty. Next time you feel your pee-pee coming, go to the potty" and wipe it up.

Sometimes, I think, we asked them to get towels to help clean up-but it really was a request, not trying to make them help.

Yes, it's really annoying to keep wiping up pee. But IME, making an issue out of it (too many reminders/too much pressure, getting outwardly annoyed/upset/angry, telling them maybe they'd have to go back in diapers-yes, I tried all those things at various points in time) just makes the issue worse. It blows over much faster, IME, when we just handle it neutrally and matter-of-factly with a single reminder and no pressure.
Khourtniey's Avatar Khourtniey 06:26 AM 06-24-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by elizawill View Post
ha ha, i know it's not funny...but your post made me laugh! my ds (also 3) is very similar, but he just recently potty trained. i just remind him where he needs to go and leave it at that. my ds doesn't do it on purpose, but he does find his puddles amusing as well. it won't last...he'll return to the potty full-time soon. that's about all i can tell you except...keep spot shot on hand...it's the best on carpets!!
Sorry.. but I laughed as well.. My almost 3 year old is doing this also.. He is not potty learned 100% but he is slowly learning... He knows exactly where the potty is and he will even tell me that it is not nice or big no-nos to pee on the floor but he does it anyway... I believe he finds it fascinating to see the urine coming out of his penis and that is why he does it... I too have made him help me clean it up.. Ive sent him to the potty.. Ive even put him into clothes (he normally is naked or only in a diaper/pull-up/underwear whatever) I just remember "This too shall pass"
brightonwoman's Avatar brightonwoman 05:48 PM 06-24-2007
I find that I always have better successes with saying "yes, if" rather than saying "no" or trying to dish out consequences...

Do you have a back yard? Can you create the rule that he can run around nakey-bum in the back yard and pee wherever he likes? (or that he can pee on the ground in some particular area out there) But that if he's in the house, the only appropriate place is in the toilet?
I know when ds was a similar age he went camping with dad and got all excited about peeing on a tree...so when he got home he wanted to pee on every tree...everywhere...
You said that he has the control to pee where he wants, and that this is a purposeful thing. I suspect tha tmaybe it happened accidentally once (or he saw/heard of someone else who did it) and he tried it out...it got a rise out of mom, so now he does it a lot because it's funny or exciting. If you make it 'legal' to pee on the floor (albeit outside) then it looses some of the excitement of a taboo, you know? And while he may pee all over out there for a couple of days, I suspect the novelty would wear off...
elizawill's Avatar elizawill 06:25 PM 06-24-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightonwoman View Post
I find that I always have better successes with saying "yes, if" rather than saying "no" or trying to dish out consequences...

Do you have a back yard? Can you create the rule that he can run around nakey-bum in the back yard and pee wherever he likes? (or that he can pee on the ground in some particular area out there) But that if he's in the house, the only appropriate place is in the toilet?
I know when ds was a similar age he went camping with dad and got all excited about peeing on a tree...so when he got home he wanted to pee on every tree...everywhere...
You said that he has the control to pee where he wants, and that this is a purposeful thing. I suspect tha tmaybe it happened accidentally once (or he saw/heard of someone else who did it) and he tried it out...it got a rise out of mom, so now he does it a lot because it's funny or exciting. If you make it 'legal' to pee on the floor (albeit outside) then it looses some of the excitement of a taboo, you know? And while he may pee all over out there for a couple of days, I suspect the novelty would wear off...

totally off-topic - but your post reminds me of my dd going poop in my sister's backyard. we were talking about camping one day and where you go to the bathroom...and the idea of pottying outside was so funny to her! a few weeks later, i'm at my sister's and we're having a spend the night party...all the cousins are in the backyard playing and my dd takes a big DUMP! i'm like, have you lost your mind???? your 5 years old!! she was pretending to be "camping"
Embee's Avatar Embee 06:47 PM 06-24-2007
My DS PTed, easily and on his own at three. At four he took up the very same "peeing about the house" and it was rough there for awhile. He was a little more quiet about it though. At first, I was taken aback. The first time it happened I assumed it was an accident and just went with the flow, no worries, clean it up, etc.

And then it became a thing. And then I made it "a thing" by reacting with frustration (we had carpet that was being ruined in the process not to mention my house smelled like pee--and I'm cleaning obsessive/compulsive!). In a last ditch effort, I began to ignore it. I mean, I cleaned it up of course (as best I could), but didn't bring attention to it while he was in the act or later. My reaction set aside, it quickly disapated. A phase or something. My gut told me it was developmental somehow, a control issue. So, when I began to ignore it, I also tried to make sure that DS had plenty of places in his life where HE was in control, played with him more and let him take the lead, boss me around, that sort of thing... it helped, the peeing ended never to return and we moved on. It seemed like a marathon but looking back I think we were only talking about a few weeks time.

This too shall pass. Hang in there mama.

Em

P.S. After peeing in the house DS took to peeing outside in the yard, off the back porch, etc. It was big for a while and being that he choose more or less private areas, we didn't make a big deal of it. It dissapated slowly but even up to a few months ago, he was known to go around the back of the house occasionally, like when we were on our way to somewhere and I'd already locked up the house before he realized he needed to go. We moved to the city from a small/ruralish town about two/three months ago and he hasn't made one attempt to go outside. Too many people, not enough privacy. He's 6 1/2 and much more modest than in those earlier days. Whew!
Wabi Sabi's Avatar Wabi Sabi 12:18 AM 06-25-2007
Thanks everyone.

I have to laugh at some of the responses- it's very clear that my ds is a "typical" boy. Not only is he very gleefully peeing in the house, but he LOVES to pee in the yard. He spends quite a bit of time playing outside everyday and most of the time he's naked.

He's also got an obsession with wanting to poop in the yard "like the dogs." It's so darn funny to see his little naked butt squating out in the grass, but then he throws an absolute hissy fit when I pick his poop up and throw it away- he wants me to leave it there so he can come back to look at it.
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