Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: under a pile of nursing toddlers
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This has been going on for a while. He bit me really badly while nursing at 5 months, and then around 10 months he started biting a lot. He has bitten while nursing on and off since 10 months, and he bites me, his other mom, and his twin sister all the time. It just keeps getting worse, it seems. It does get better for a while at times, but then there's a new wave and it gets bad again. Now he's also hitting, pulling hair, pinching, and stealing my glasses. I feel like I'm under siege sometimes. I have to shadow him so closely so that he doesn't bite his sister or pull the dog's hair, etc.
There are times when he starts biting me, and I pull him back and say "no," then he hits me. I grab his hand and say no, so then he grabs my glasses, then my hair and starts to pull. At this point I can't see anything, I'm trying to get one hand out of my hair and the other off my glasses. All the while he's giggling like it's the funniest thing in the world. I just get so mad. And he's fast! I know the best thing to do would be to avoid the situation altogether, but I can't seem to keep track of both hands and the teeth at the same time, especially without my glasses.
And frankly, it's making me really mad, and starting to worry me. Is there something wrong with him? Up until recently I have just redirected him and reminded myself that he's too young to understand that he's hurting me. I of course tell him "no! hurts mama." and sign hurt, but I've reminded myself that he can't understand. But when does that change? Thinking about what's motivating it, it's starting to feel like it *is* aggression, not just a lack of understanding. But OTOH, perhaps that's just my anger and frustration coming out.
And mamas (and papas), what the heck do I *DO*? I feel like what I'm doing is really ineffective right now and I'm not parenting the way I want to. I have started *yelling* "no" instead of saying it, and that just seems kind of dumb--he still laughs (I guess the fact that I'm not scaring him is a good thing!). I'm trying to see if I can give him more positive attention when he's *not* biting, but you know, I'm doing my best already, and with twins it's hard. I've been through the gamut of every technique (that's not abusive IMO) for biting that's out there, so I'm looking more for suggestions on how to look at the overall situation than for tips on dealing with biting/etc., though anything that worked really well for someone would be helpful.
Thanks in advance for any suggestions, or just support.