Am I the only one who spanks her dog but not her kid? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 86 Old 09-01-2007, 02:01 AM
 
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I haven't read the rest of the posts beyond blessed's reply but....

I guess I don't understand the point of your OP. You are saying that now you see that spanking your dogs doesn't make sense--since you now are so anti-spanking your dd.

So, the next logical question is are you going to stop?

How that is snarky and unhelpful is beyond me. If you want help on how to stop, then cool but your OP didn't touch on that. It was joking story about a realization you came to??

FWIW, I had never even heard of people "spanking" their dogs until recently. I'm a huge animal rights activist and I don't see how hitting animals is any more acceptable than hitting humans. It seems absurd and I'm happy you are thinking of stopping.

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#62 of 86 Old 09-01-2007, 12:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by captain crunchy View Post
In all this talk about the "natural" behaviors of dogs -- newsflash: dogs like food.
I read SD's post to say that it wasn't natural to treat dogs like kids (have them in bed, etc). Maybe I missed it, but I didn't think he said anything about hitting dogs (that it was ok)?

ftr, I'm not arguing with you CC. I agree with you. I'm appalled at dog hitting, and spent hours trying to find articles to convince my aunt that hitting her australian shepherd wasn't the way to get her to stop nipping :

eta- not that I haven't, in the past, hit one of my dogs out of anger. So I'm not passing judgement on Blessed at all!
But not since ds was old enough to know what was going on. We're dog sitting a puppy for two days, and I noticed that ds doesn't even consider hitting the pup when he does something "wrong." That just reinforced that not hitting is the way to go.

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#63 of 86 Old 09-01-2007, 12:28 PM
 
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At least it is not the other way around....some people treat their animals better than their children or other people, etc.

I feel your priorities are in the right order. The only thing is, the dog does not really "understand" a spanking or yelling. From what I gather it just is a sound or a touch and it means absolutely nothing to them.

The way to get better behavior, because the dogs may be trying to reestablish their position now that the daughter is here. Whenever anything changes the training has to be reinforced again...(i.e. the sandwich incident...they were already trained against that but now they have to be reestablished again....just like testing boundaries,etc).

I did not read all the posts, but I understand your dilemna because I had my children and the then the dogs had to be trained along with them, etc. It is a bigger responsibility with children and dogs....a big job.

Everything will smooth out soon. And the dogs are going to be quite understanding too..LOL
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#64 of 86 Old 09-01-2007, 03:46 PM
 
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This is probably the most interesting post to me so far. I think the reason the line gets blurred between 'dog training' and 'gentle discipline' is that, for those of us with dogs, it IS blurred. Our kids and our animals just interact so intimately and we want to keep everyone safe and happy.

For myself, I've never really believed the Alpha stuff. It just never made sense. I found a gentle-discipline-type obedience class for my dog and have been AMAZED at the similarities between what we were taught there and anything I have learned about GD and AP. I actually feel that a lot of the goals of raising children and dogs are very similar. The biggest lesson for me was, NEVER cause your dog discomfort or physical pain. You are trying to foster attachment between you and your dog and build your relationship. You want him to WANT to come to you. Physical pain causes fear, and fear sets the stage for aggression. I feel like dog training is going through a metamorphosis away from teaching-through-pain, just as, hopefully, parenting is. But I guess you do research and choose to go down the path that makes sense to you.

I don't think it's just about spanking pets, either. My husband and I were in the regular habit of pushing our cat off the table (certainly not violently, but still), or moving the dog out of the way with our foot. Our daughter very quickly picked up on this and started pushing the animals with all the restraint of a 2yo. We didn't even think of what we were doing as pushing. Not to mention yelling at them. We don't do any of these things anymore. The more gentle we are with our animals, the more gentle she is. Now if we speak to the animals in a "mean voice" she tells us, "hey, that wasn't a very nice voice you used." She has taught us. I could go on about what our trainer told us about the flaws in the 'pack theory,' but that really is pet forum stuff. My interest is sparked by this debate, though, so I'm going to spend some time in that forum now.
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#65 of 86 Old 09-03-2007, 12:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ShaggyDaddy View Post
I am not trying to argue, I don't think hitting dogs is right, but I do feel communicating on their level is apropriate. Dogs like order and a chain of command MORE than they like food, seriously.


Me neither. I know someone who talks about how spanking children is abuse, etc, yet she allows her dh to hit their 4 lb yorkie when she has an accident (which, imo is THEIR fault if they do not watch her properly). I think its abuse as well. I am shocked at some of the replies I've read...
I have not seen where spanking/hitting a dog was effective in correcting the behavior. I sure would love to see sources to were there has been a positive outcome from hitting a dog. I rescued a sibe 2 yrs ago and it hurt to see her cower when we tried to pet her. it took a while before she realized that while with us , she would not be hit, but she did soon warm up and turned out to be a great dog.

Abuse is abuse.Whether its on a child or dog.

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#66 of 86 Old 09-03-2007, 10:44 PM
 
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this thread is really interesting to me because i really really want a dog. i've never been a dog person, until i met this 2yo border collie/chow/new-fin retriever mix and fell in love with him! he's seriously one of my best friends (i say i'm going to see my "dog friend" and everyone says, "you mean your friend's dog?" and i'm like, "no, but i'm friends with his human, too." )

this dog is amazing. he's the best behaved dog I've ever seen, and I didn't realize that I could have such a close relationship with someone of a different species. he's still got a lot of puppy in him and gets into stuff/gets mischievous, but when i talk to him he almost always listens and behaves accordingly. i've only seen his owner hit him once, and that was when he bit my 7yo brother (i think he was trying ther "herd" my brother, he didn't bite him hard and it wasn't out of anger. i don't know that hitting him for it was the best thing, but i think it just scared us all and his owner didn't know what to do, kwim?)

anyway, i know that this is the kind of relationship i want to have with any future dog. i think i'm going to have to do A LOT of research about breeds/pack order before i get one (oh, and wait until my kids are older bc i just wouldn't have the energy right now!) ... but this thread brings up a lot of very interesting points about training/compassion/gentleness/the kinds of relationships we want in our families -- even the animal members.

i think what it probably comes down to with dogs, just like with kids, is understanding their development and treating them accordingly.

anyway, thanks to everyone (especially SD) for your insight! i'd love to hear even more experience from those who have BTDT!

Oh, and OP -- : it's great that you're aware enough of your family situation to see this going on! most people i know aren't even aware of how dynamics in the family are affecting themselves or their kids, let alone how changing dynamics affect the pets, and thus how that affects the whole family, kwim? ... does that make sense?
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#67 of 86 Old 09-04-2007, 11:04 AM
 
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Yet another vote for - me too!

Ever since baby I am no longer such a dog person.

I was even going to write this huge before and after baby essay cursing those who give away the dog after baby is born.. but now I soooo get it.

No patience for dogs now - trying to get better...

I didn't see this thread and started a new one, very similar

Tea drinking Momma::: Grady 8/06 and : Coralynn 8/09
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#68 of 86 Old 09-05-2007, 06:25 PM
 
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Thank you all for your insights and expereinces here...we had the somewhat bad idea to get a puppy when DD was 6 months old, a cow dog at that. (We live in the country and plan to get stock animals, but we don't have any yet to entertain her). It has been rather difficult at times, and has been a lot of management. Even though it has always been this way for the dog, she still puts on the guilt when I ignore her for the afternoon because I can't deal with her and have enough on my plate with DD.

I have hit the dog on several occassions, : and get frustrated when the dog won't listen to my voice commands. She is a smart dog, and knows the commands, but sometimes won't listen. She's a sentient thinking being, not a robot, but it ruffles my feathers sometimes! A baby comes with stress enoough! WE are getting better with the training, and developing a good rapport with the dog, but we still need some work on temper management, and the dog needs more training which takes time. It is good practice for us, and I don't think I have hit the dog in a long time now. DD is getting older and understands a lot, and Ihave observed her "telling" the dog to do things, even though she isn't sayinig the words. I hope I can foster a non-violent way of interacting with the dog for her, and to me, this means my example counts, a lot.

FWIW, my cat was a special critter to me before baby, and now I could practically care less. Having a baby really does change things! I have gotten really angry with the cats when they wake the baby, or step on her while she's sleeping! I just want to kick them out! But I have to remind myself that they are part of the family too, and that I took responsibility for them.

Anyhow, thanks for this thread, it never occurred to me to bring it to MDC and it has been really helpful for me.

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#69 of 86 Old 09-06-2007, 01:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by carfreemama View Post
This is probably the most interesting post to me so far. I think the reason the line gets blurred between 'dog training' and 'gentle discipline' is that, for those of us with dogs, it IS blurred. Our kids and our animals just interact so intimately and we want to keep everyone safe and happy.

For myself, I've never really believed the Alpha stuff. It just never made sense. I found a gentle-discipline-type obedience class for my dog and have been AMAZED at the similarities between what we were taught there and anything I have learned about GD and AP. I actually feel that a lot of the goals of raising children and dogs are very similar. The biggest lesson for me was, NEVER cause your dog discomfort or physical pain. You are trying to foster attachment between you and your dog and build your relationship. You want him to WANT to come to you. Physical pain causes fear, and fear sets the stage for aggression. I feel like dog training is going through a metamorphosis away from teaching-through-pain, just as, hopefully, parenting is. But I guess you do research and choose to go down the path that makes sense to you.

I don't think it's just about spanking pets, either. My husband and I were in the regular habit of pushing our cat off the table (certainly not violently, but still), or moving the dog out of the way with our foot. Our daughter very quickly picked up on this and started pushing the animals with all the restraint of a 2yo. We didn't even think of what we were doing as pushing. Not to mention yelling at them. We don't do any of these things anymore. The more gentle we are with our animals, the more gentle she is. Now if we speak to the animals in a "mean voice" she tells us, "hey, that wasn't a very nice voice you used." She has taught us. I could go on about what our trainer told us about the flaws in the 'pack theory,' but that really is pet forum stuff. My interest is sparked by this debate, though, so I'm going to spend some time in that forum now.
I'm with you and your trainer. I find 'animals' and children to be remarkably similar.
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#70 of 86 Old 09-06-2007, 09:21 AM
 
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Well, to answer your question, I am a no, and DH is a yes. Unfortunately, in the past, whenever the dog did ANYthing (like, stood in front of the TV and didn't move) dh would just go off on him and throw him out onto the balcony (the dog's space), but we've had long talks about how A) if you keep hitting the dog, he's going to start biting DS and B) the TV is not more important than a living being (and we also moved the TV up higher). So I think we're finally getting through to him. He has a lot of rage issues (his mama, love her to death, was one of those that would give five million warnings before flying off the handle at one stupid little thing) and I'm trying to come up with creative ways to channel his anger that don't involve the dog, even if (for now) it is involving doors and walls.


Sunny coolshine.gif: gun toting, retired breastfeeding, car seat loving, guitar playing, home birthing and schooling mama to Jakob (10.06), Mikah (07.08) and Korah (07.11). uc.jpg 

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#71 of 86 Old 09-06-2007, 12:31 PM
 
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I've been following this whole thread and feel I need to add another post, kind of to clarify my original one. It seems that there are two different dynamics happening in this discussion. One is how much less time and attention so many of us have to give our pets, particularly our dogs and the other one, if it's ever OK to spank or use physical correction with animals and how that affects our children.

On my previous post I voted for a new model of dog training that goes against the alpha-dog-pack-thing that seems to be the dominant paradigm for training out there. I feel even more in the minority with my rejection of that model than I do with my alternative parenting style.

BUT I so, so empathize with the no-time-for-my-dog and "what happened to my relationships with my animals since I had kids" thing that everyone seems to identify with. This has been by far the biggest challenge for me and my transition into parenthood. It has caused huge conflict with my partner and unending stress, since I cannot leave my dog alone with my child. He's a 'good dog,' but I do not trust him not to bite if my daughter pulls his tail, although she doesn't do that now, or steps on him accidentally. I adopted him from the shelter as an adult and no amount of training will ever convince me he wouldn't snap at her if she hurt him by accident.

One of my solutions in the early days was to hire a dog walker once a week. I did this in desperation to give my husband, who had to assume most of the responsibility for dog-walking while I was nursing, a break. I paid for it out of my own allowance, twice a week. We could not afford it. But it did take the edge off the tension and made my husband feel like his needs were being considered. Now I barter for this, giving the dog-walker bread and food to take home once a week instead of cash. She loves it. She's also a trainer and behaviourist who has really helped us keep our dog.

I feel so bad that so many people give up on their pets when they have kids. It's so, so overwhelming. My only thought has been to try and set up some sort of support system for new parents in our local area...some sort of free dog-walking service to help them through the adjustment period and to just give them someone to talk to who's been there. Now that things are FINALLY settling down here, and my dog is good with other dogs, I am thinking of approaching our SPCA to try and get something like this going with other dog- lovers. One big problem I found was that people seemed to be either 'dog people,' who made me feel guilty for even discussing rehoming our dog for snapping/biting, or 'kid people,' who told me I was insane for even considering keeping the dog. We still have him and I am still nervous for our child. I keep training, try to give the dog lots of exercise and constantly, constantly supervise and separate.
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#72 of 86 Old 09-06-2007, 01:24 PM
 
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One big problem I found was that people seemed to be either 'dog people,' who made me feel guilty for even discussing rehoming our dog for snapping/biting, or 'kid people,' who told me I was insane for even considering keeping the dog.
I love my dog. I'm a "dog person"--but I wouldn't consider keeping a dog I didn't trust with my children.
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#73 of 86 Old 09-06-2007, 11:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love my dog. I'm a "dog person"--but I wouldn't consider keeping a dog I didn't trust with my children.
Yup, dat.
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#74 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 12:14 AM
 
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I always swore that I would never hit my dog ... but I have a few times. I don't make it a habit or anything. I am much, much worse about screaming at the dog which is just dumb bc the dog is pretty much deaf.

Its very frustrating lately - my house always smells no matter how much I vacumn or mop, the dog always stinks bc she needs a bath, the groomer costs an arm and a leg, walking the dog w/my DD is not enjoyable, my dog is a huge pain in the @ss and when I am in another part of the house or outside and she can't go there she will fuss, whine and slobber.

I am jealous of my neighbors who gave their dog to a new home after their child was born bc they couldn't deal with the dog and the kid. My dog was an adult when I got her, she was 7, and now is almost 14 and there is no way I could ever give her up no matter how annoying she gets - one bc I do love her and so does my DD and two bc I think it would be very cruel at this age to make her go to a new home.

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#75 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 02:29 AM
 
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when dd was born, our cat suddenly went from being a much beloved, much doted on member of the family, to an annoying creature who we mostly directed such things as "Max, Get OUT of here!" at.
We actually moved and made the difficult decision to put him up for adoption, to a great home. I swear, I never would have guessed the relief I felt! I miss him, but I don't think I'm going to want another pet for a long time!

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#76 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 10:01 AM
 
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I love my dog. I'm a "dog person"--but I wouldn't consider keeping a dog I didn't trust with my children.
I'm a dog person too, but I don't really feel you can trust any dog with children around.
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#77 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 11:59 AM
 
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I feel that you can trust a dog as long as you know it. I don't know about others' pets, but I know what provokes my animals. They've never bitten or acted aggressively towards the kids, but they (one in particular) are very protective. DH and I were play-fighting once and he pinned my arms behind me, and I was screaming "help," and my big dog jumped up and bit DH on the behind.. pretty hard. That's the ONLY biting incident we've had with any of our three dogs, and while we know he was doing it to defend and help me, we no longer play like that when the dogs are in the room. After it happened DH turned around and yelled and the dog immediately tucked his tail and cowered. He's never been hit, NEVER (we have had him since he was born) but he knew he'd made a mistake and I guess he feared retaliation. DH said he was close to hitting him but seeing him cower like that, he felt sorry for him. After all, he was just defending his mama, and if there were a stranger in the room doing the same thing to me or the kids we'd want him to react.

We have trained our dogs to be submissive to us without fear or intimidation. When they were all puppies we would hold them on their backs, showing their tummies, speaking to them in a calm voice.. then let them up and praise them. They, much like children, respond much better to positive reinforcement than negative.

A "friend" of mine has 5 girls, ages 8, 7, 4, 2, and 3 months, and they recently got a chihuahua puppy. The puppy weighed less than a pound when they brought her home, and she was already instructing the kids that if she pottied on the floor or bit one of them, to hit her nose. I was SO sad. The 4 year old hits her HARD, and her mom insists that this is the only way the puppy will learn that the kids are dominant and she is not. I have a chihuahua also, and he was the same size when we brought him home.. so tiny and helpless.. I couldn't have imagined ever hitting that tiny baby.

My dogs are part of the family. I wouldn't hit my kid for having an "accident" or getting into the trash, so why hit the dog? You do have to discipline and relate to dogs in a different way but hitting is not EVER acceptable IMO.
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#78 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 12:58 PM
 
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I feel that you can trust a dog as long as you know it. I don't know about others' pets, but I know what provokes my animals. They've never bitten or acted aggressively towards the kids, but they (one in particular) are very protective. DH and I were play-fighting once and he pinned my arms behind me, and I was screaming "help," and my big dog jumped up and bit DH on the behind.. pretty hard. That's the ONLY biting incident we've had with any of our three dogs, and while we know he was doing it to defend and help me, we no longer play like that when the dogs are in the room.
It can be quite dangerous to believe that "you can trust a dog as long as you know it". Professional who work with dogs -vet, trainers - will agree that this is not the case and dogs can react in ways that we don't expect. Dogs do not have the capability to reason.

Given the example you provided, I believe it is remiss for you to leave a child alone even for a few minutes with the dog.

My dog has never bitten but she has growled in warning(which I am thankful for...much better than her just biting) once or twice and she is generally a docile dog with people yet I will only leave her alone w/DD who is 3 for a few minutes now when she was younger - never. I would never leave a child that wasn't mine with my dog.

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#79 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 02:12 PM
 
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I feel that you can trust a dog as long as you know it. I don't know about others' pets, but I know what provokes my animals. They've never bitten or acted aggressively towards the kids, but they (one in particular) are very protective.
I think that is a very dangerous mentality. There are many documented cases of children being bitten by a trusted family dog who has never shown previous aggression.

Dogs don't play by the same rules we do, they don't speak the same language, and they react differently and very instinctually.

Also, chihuahua's are statistically the dog most likely to bite one of your family members. I guess it's less likely to be lethal than a bigger dog but still not a good thing to mess around with.
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#80 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 03:36 PM
 
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With a young child, that's true.. I wouldn't leave my dogs (or cats!) alone with a small child. My kids are older, and they know the rules concerning the pets, so I don't feel uncomfortable if they are upstairs playing in their room or in the backyard without us, with one or more of the dogs. When they were younger it was different. The dogs weren't allowed in their room if they were up there playing, and they weren't allowed in the backyard without one of us with them.

I'm not arguing the point that dogs are unpredictable. We never expected our big dog to bite DH. He's generally very loving and docile. But, having learned what provokes our dogs, we set strict rules about how we (and the kids) interact with them and I trust them around my kids, and my kids around them. There have been several occasions where others will bring their kids over to our place, and when that happens the dogs stay outside or in another room.

ETA: I haven't found anything saying chihuahuas are the most likely breed of dog to bite... According to this site ( http://www.dogexpert.com/Dog%20Bite%...tatistics.html ), it's generally mixed breeds, and among purebreds German Shephards are the most likely biters... Of course there is a risk with ANY breed, age, and size of dog, chihuahuas included.
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#81 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 06:05 PM
 
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I have always considered myself a dog person. I worked in pet stores and vet clinics for years as a teen and volunteered at the SPCA as well. I also walked dogs twice a week on a volunteer basis for people as well. I could never understand how people could even consider giving a dog up after having kids. Now I can understand it. I don't think we'd ever actually give ours up, unless she becomes aggressive with our daughter (so far she's been very gentle when we've let her see the baby), but she is definitely annoying me more lately. I think partly she really is acting out more. We moved, 5 days later we had a baby, then we've had guests and visitors in and out almost constantly since then. And she's never been a social dog and we don't normally get a lot of guests. She was a rescue and does have fear aggression. So I don't think she's at fault for it, but I still can't help but be more annoyed at her and it does make me a bit sad. I sometimes wish I'd had a bit more forethought before getting her. I'd always had Keeshonds before her, which are the sweetest, most child-friendly dogs and want nothing more than to please their owners, which makes them easy to train.

Our current dog is a Klee Kai (miniature Husky) and very independent, a huge difference. Telling her no or that she's doing something wrong doesn't normally make her stop, she just doesn't seem to care if we're happy with her or not. My Keeshonds could be motivated with just a pat, a look, even a smile or a frown, she needs a lot more than that. I have found myself yelling at her, especially when she's chasing the cat or barking, but since reading more about GD I've really tried to stop that and actually found talking to her seems to get her attention better than yelling. Plus I don't want our children to grow up thinking the way to solve problems with the dog is to yell. She just ignores me when I yell, or barks more. I've never hit her, though when she's growling or snapping at another dog I have pretty forcefully grabbed her muzzle. We have taken her to aggression classes though and I've learned some really good ways to redirect her attention and energy, a lot like GD actually. And they really seem to work when I remember them.

Personally I think I'm sort of in the middle of the spectrum as far as pack order vs GD for dogs. I think she needs to respect us and know that we are the food providers, but on the other hand I need to respect her as well (such as recognizing there have been a lot of changes for her this past month) and I do want to foster attachment. Maybe I'm wrong but with GD and kids, don't you want the kids to see you as the one they go to to find out what's good or bad and how to handle a situation? In a way I think that's very similar to the role an "Alpha" should play to a dog. I noticed after the class (which had a lot of GD tendencies while still keeping you as the "Alpha" so to speak) she seemed to come to us when she was scared rather than immediately reacting with aggression. And normally once she saw we were okay with a situation she was much calmer too, though not perfect. She seems to have lost that this past month, so I might look into taking her back to the class again as a refresher more for me than for her.

The cat hasn't annoyed me more at all, but he's always been really great. He is a bit less social since the baby, in that he no longer seems to come seeking attention, but if I go to him he still loves to be pet. Anyway, this ended up longer and more long-winded than I expected, so I'm going to stop now. I hope I managed to stay mostly on topic.

Lindsay - DD1, born posterior and chin up at home, Aug 2007
DD2, born at home in the water, March 2010
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#82 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 06:34 PM
 
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This thread really hit a chord with me because I have a 10 year old dog, who I have always struggled with because of her aggression/fear issues. When I got pregnant I was devastated because I thought for sure I would have to put her down for the safety of my child. Fortunately, despite all our issues she has been great with the baby.

We oftentimes, and I'm so not proud, get upset and yell at her. She barks a lot and very loudly and we have a small house and a baby. It's really frustrating. I've done a lot of research on dog-training methods and am still at a loss of how to help her with her issues. I have tried positive reinforcement methods, taken her to a behaviorist (Patricia McConnell) and tried Cesar Milan's methods and have been frustrated with both methods, although Cesar's method was effective, when we stuck to it and were controlled and patient, which unforunately is very hard for many people, including us. I feel so guilty and like I have failed her. I wish I could stick to walking her every day for an hour, but it's tough to find the time and energy.

I feel bad for dogs, most of them do not have their needs met at all, and they're still so loyal. : : :
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#83 of 86 Old 09-07-2007, 06:45 PM
 
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gwynthfair, I know what you mean! DH and I both work more than full time hours, and they probably don't get the attention they need. I do walk them every day (alternating days as they would be a lot to manage all at once!) and we play with them as much as possible, but I always feel bad when I come home wanting to be left alone after a long day's work and they're all "Mom! Let's play! Throw the ball! Rub my belly!" They're like three kids. My cats are much more self-sufficient but I think making the decision to have a dog is much like making the decision to have a child. You agree to take on the responsibilities of providing the dog with food, water, shelter, and love. Even when you're exhausted, you make sure their needs are met before you rest. It's never been a responsibility I take lightly, but it gets frustrating. Nevertheless, no matter how unenthused I am to see them, they're always jumping for joy when I come home.
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#84 of 86 Old 09-11-2007, 06:16 PM
 
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I had to circle back to this one, because I just spanked my MIL's dog. I feel really bad about it -- I had no idea how close to the surface such a reaction was for me. DD often pushes my buttons, and I never spank her. Dog-sitting was sprung on us last night, as a demand, not a request. MIL and her husband are in town but staying in a hotel for the first few nights. They didn't tell us when they'd arrive, so I spent all morning awaiting their call. DD went down for a much-needed nap at 1, and the dog arrived at 1:45. He will not settle -- click, click, click go his nails on our wood floors, to the front door (right near DD's room), where he whines. And again and again. Meanwhile I can't eat so much as an apple, because he is friendly but poorly trained, and demands table food incessantly. The perpetual motion and whining near napping DD's door was driving me nuts, and then he went and snatched some expired turkey from our trash. That's when I spanked him, on his bony, arthritic haunches (he's 13 or 14). I feel trapped, because once DD wakes up, how could I possibly manage her and the elderly dog on our stairs, and oversee both of them? I'm just not cut out for this -- we have a box turtle, and I had no idea how tough it was to manage a larger and more challenging pet when there's a baby or toddler in the house.
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#85 of 86 Old 09-11-2007, 09:15 PM
 
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I push my kitty with my foot (almost like a kick but not a kick at all) so she will move out of my way when I am walking. She has a terrible habit of being underfoot at all times. All of us have almost broken our necks because of it.

Now DD sees me push kitty outta the way with my foot and thinks it is ok to kick the cat. She say "move cookie" then kicks her as soon as she sees her.

I feel bad about it and tell her no kicking but I know it is my fault for setting a bad example.

Just my story. No judgment to Blessed about your dog situation. I know I don't have the patience for a dog so I will not get one. I am not a dog person. I learned that from dog sitting.
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#86 of 86 Old 09-12-2007, 09:51 AM
 
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I don't spank my dog or my kids. I yell at them all sometimes (& I'm working on modifying that), but i sure don't spank/hit.

I don't really understand how it is okay legally to hit a kid or a pet at certain times but not at others, kwim?

Aussiemumhippie.gif (40), DH caffix.gif (39), DD reading.gif (13), & DS 2whistle.gif(11).

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