I don't really "do" New Year's resolutions. I resolved a few years ago to not make any more. It's the only one I've ever kept.
But, a new year always gets me thinking and assessing my life and where I'm at. I've been working really hard the last few months at becoming a more gentle parent. I've never spanked, but I've yelled. A lot. And I think I feel as bad about that as if I'd spanked.
Things have been getting better. Not always great, but there's progress.
You know how they say you know your kids are listening when they mimic you? Yeah, they're yelling. I know I have no one buy myself to blame. And it sounds so terrible to hear what the tone they speak to each other when they are frustrated about something. I feel bad to hear how I sounded to them.
I feel like I need to have a conversation with them. In a time where things are good. They've started covering their ears when they don't want to hear what anyone has to say (I *didn't* do that!
) so I think a happy time would be when to do it. I guess I just want to apologize to them for all the times I yelled at them and jumped to conclusions before asking them about what they were doing. And tell them that I really want to be a gentle mama for them because that's what they deserve. And to explain to them that yelling and speaking rudely doesn't make a peaceful home and I'd like for all of us to work on it together.
Has anyone done this before? I have a good friend telling me that it's a terrible idea and that I should just start doing better. She thinks I'm making myself vulnerable and showing them that they can "get to me", whatever that means. And she said I'd be unloading my burdens on them to make myself feel better.
I think that if it is from the heart, it would be good because I'm showing them that when you know you've screwed up, you can't change the past but you can sincerely apologize and then do better. And it shows them that even mom isn't perfect and doesn't always know best.
I'd really like to talk to them, but I don't want to do it if it's going to be a burden on them. What do you guys think?