Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: DeSoto, Texas
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This is a great idea!
I do something similar. When I start to feel the "rage" coming on, I repeat this quote inside my head:
"Harsh words are like hailstones in summer, beating down and destroying what they would nourish were they melted into drops."
Or, now that I'm more familiar with the quote and its meaning, I'll just remind myself, "Drops, not hailstones. Drops, not hailstones."
Mia, married to my since 2006, mama to D (5/06) and M (8/09).
I did pretty decent today.. I only raised my voice once and I stopped myself half way through the sentence and calmed down before continueing. I did, however, also have a church potluck where DD loves everyone and willing played without causing complete destruction of her surroundings. It was nice to be able to be around adults and not have to worry about DD...
Hopefully I can not yell tomorrow but we will see.
I am in-I wish I saw this thread months ago. I had been a fairly calm GD mom until my dd turned 3 and I found out I was pregnant and she gave up her naps (yes-all in the same week!)-then I just lost all patience Yelling and sadly occasionally screaming is my huge problem. I now have an 8 week old::And it is has been hard not to lose my temper with my now almost 4 year old. Its been a rough year-and I vow now-I will be the calm mom that I want to be.
I am starting today.
I need more tools to do this and will go back and read this thread as I have time.
to all of you!
I'm back, and I want to start over. I have regressed into my old ways again and feel worse than ever about my relationships with my children.
So, starting now, I am a new mama again. This time for good, I hope.
I will breathe deeply when I feel like screaming.
I will hug my kids when I feel like pushing them away.
I will play.
I will laugh.
When I feel myself losing it, I will remember that these little people are the best things that have ever happened to me.
Thanks so much to you mamas who are making this journey with me.
|Imagine you're in a train station awaiting the arrival
of a most beloved friend or family member whom you
haven't seen in years.
You've been anticipating this reunion for days,
activating memories of good times you've shared, and
you *know* you're going to explode with joy when you
The train arrives and people begin deboarding as you
balance on your tip-toes, reaching for a glimpse of
your cherished guest. You can barely contain the
immense love and joy you're feeling.....
Now imagine that cherished guest is your child!
Not some future adult version but your now/today
child, coming off that train, just as eager to connect
as you are.
Imagine meeting your child with that same expectation
of overflowing love and joy every morning as you rise
and every time you reconnect throughout the day.
If you like this idea, imagine it often.
Creation begins with imagination.
When is your older one turning 4? Mine will be 4 on 11/12... She's a big ol' scorpio. Has a bunch of it in her chart. Knowing that about her, and knowing about the Scorpio born in year of the Monkey has helped... there are quirks I watch for. She really responds to logic, she's extremely verbal.
I really enjoy using this one: "I love you too much to fight with you... I'm walking away so we can cool off. Let's talk about this later when we can both be loving and respectful."
Sometimes she flips out even more, but I just keep repeating, "I love you too much to be part of this... I'm patient and I will wait for you to cool off..."
I'm with you - today it ends.
With my just-turned-3-year-old, it's aggression. How can I expect him to not be aggressive when I yell and I'm aggressive?
I don't have time to read through this thread but I'd like to join. I feel like I have a split personality as a mom. My good side is patient, creative, singing all the time, making up stories, co-sleeping, babywearing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, giving my 3 yo good food and leaving her a lot of room to be creative without yelling about her using all the cloth napkins in the house to make a curtain for her bed . But then there is the other side: the side that looses her temper when faced with defiance, yells, glares, grabs too hard, and actually wants to hit her 3 yo (thankfully, I have a smidgen of control and don't actually smack her), then sometimes I cry and its clear that the grown up is not in charge and its not fair. I apologize for my behavior which is appropriate but I shouldn't have so many things to apologize for.
Mommy to two boys, ages 4 and 6.