Some more info on DS1 ... he's very verbally and cognitively advanced in some ways. According to every milestone chart/website I've read, some of his skills are closer to a 4-year-old. He's very sensitive to emotions - positive and negative, and that's the hardest part for me. I try to keep calm and inform him of his options (sit on the couch, or dance on the floor - not dance on the couch!), and when he won't listen or make a choice, I tell him that I will choose for him and WHAT I will choose. Then when he doesn't get his way, he just plain melts down. Then he gets really really clingy. I try very hard to stay with him until he calms down, but sometimes he gets so worked up he's screaming and crying and thrashing (because we don't have any M&Ms) and he's unreachable. He doesn't want me to hold him, he doesn't want me to leave him, he doesn't want to lay on his bed or in the crib to calm down ... what does that leave me with??
Any book suggestions?
Married 6/16/01 ~ WOHM to DS1 4/29/06 and DS2 2/13/08 ~ ALMOST an RVT ~
Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.
Also, anything by Dr. Sears
and here's a mothering link http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=115037
For more general parenting books I love Unconditional Parenting and Kids Are Worth It.
The Explosive Child is great, even for kids you wouldn't consider explosive. It's a little old for your son now, but keep it in mind.
Playful Parenting is fab.
I personally don't love Dr. Sears, especially for discipline stuff. My favorite book of all time is Unconditional Parenting, but it doesn't have a lot of practical advice. More practical is How to Talk so Kinds Will Listen... but I didn't find it helpful for toddlers (lots of people do though).
He doesn't want me to hold him, he doesn't want me to leave him, he doesn't want to lay on his bed or in the crib to calm down ... what does that leave me with??
Now, in terms of giving him the choice of dancing on the floor versus sitting on the couch, that kind of the thing never worked for my son. He would just get sillier and sillier about it. If he's jumping on the couch and doesn't get down when I tell him to jump on the floor or on his bed instead, I'll scoop him up and we'll do something silly together. Especially closer to age 2, distraction and redirection worked WAY better than any sort of logic for us. Now that he's over three, choices like that are starting to mean something to him, but redirection and distraction are still our best bets.
Back to the topic: If it were me, I'd get Playful Parenting and Raising your Spirited Child first.
and some of the author's thoughts here: http://www.network54.com/Realm/Spirited_Kids/Budd.htm
My dd fits some of the qualities she gives but not all.
Playful Parenting (Cohen) gave me my first real perspective shift. I can't say enough about this book. I'm currently re-reading it for the umpteenth time.
I also really love the book Connection Parenting by Pam Leo.