Can someone explain GD, - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-01-2003, 02:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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in a nutshell?

I have been lurking here for a while, and I guess I'm just wondering, from where does the phrase "GD" come? Is there a book? Or are there some basic rules?

From the posts I've read, it seems we pretty much follow GD in our home, but until I found MDC, I didn't have a name for our style.

TIA!

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Old 11-01-2003, 11:59 AM
 
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I'm bumping this thread, cause I, too, would like to hear how mamas here define GD in a nutshell.
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Old 11-01-2003, 02:17 PM
 
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(NJ's mom, I know I've been lax about emailing you - I promise to try to get you something soon)

This is how I see GD:

Positive discipline is my goal, gentle discipline is my method. It is a method of raising human beings in a non-humiliating, respectful and loving manner which does not seek to subjugate, rather to guide. It is working within the structure of the personality of the child to help them develop into a responsible, empathetic, connected and loving adult. Gentle discipline is the process, not the result.

Now *how* you do it? That's a process too, and it is probably ever-evolving and lasts the course of a lifetime. But it is not just the way I treat my child, it is the way I treat everyone. GD is a wholistic approach to all relationships (in my opinion), not just a parenting method.

I'm sure that the other mamas will have more eloquence in their definitions, I think I sound kind of rambly....but that's the best I can do with the flu!
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Old 11-01-2003, 02:34 PM
 
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Gentle discipline, known as loving guidance, is part of LLL's 10 concept philosophy.

Quote:
From infancy on, children need loving guidance which reflects acceptance of their capabilities and sensitivity to their feelings.

...Loving guidance, ie: helping a child grow to be a loving, caring, self-disciplined adult is ideally reached by an emphasis on discipline/teaching methods and attitudes that foster learning while maintaining self-esteem. This process reflects awareness of, sensitivity to, and respect for developmental needs, capabilities, and individuality. ...Harsh or restrictive physical or verbal methods, or lack of parental attention, concern or intervention are inconsistent with the philosophy and goals of the loving guidance policy.
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Old 11-13-2003, 01:41 PM
 
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any other personal definitions? How do you mamas describe your basic approach to discipline when talking to friends/family, so as to distinguish it from other approaches?
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Old 11-13-2003, 07:55 PM
 
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I like the term 'gentle discipline,' because it highlights the fact that discipline isn't about "yelling at kids when they do wrong," it's about teaching children the ways of the world.

Gently.

Respectfully.

Calmly.

Slowly.

There's no one 'right' way to practice gentle discipline, and I like this fact--both my daughter and I are on a journey through her childhood together, and each day I hope I do better so that she may do better
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Old 11-15-2003, 01:05 AM
 
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tinyshoes-I like what you said about doing better so she (your DS) can do better.

I can't imagine parenting any other way, although it is hard. And lately it has been rough getting through the days as DS is really pushing our buttoms/limits-and is in fact testing them which I think is normal for a 22 mos.

For me, it's about being on a journey with my DS. Every day trying to do better. Trying to understand him. And not be punitive.
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Old 11-16-2003, 01:26 AM
 
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I tell people that we are choosing to discipline DD without hitting and without punishment. Most people don't understand that discipline and punishment are two very different things, so I am sure to emphasize that we intend to set boundaries for DD that are age and developmentally appropriate, but that we will not be using punishment to enforce those boundaries.

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Old 11-17-2003, 03:00 PM
 
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oh yeah, mamas!!! there's no "punishment" going on!

That's a key element, that is so fundamental to GD, in my mind, that I forgot to mention it!

Like, when you tell someone how to address an envelope, you forget to mention that you have to breathe while doing so! :LOL

Natural consequences, not punshiment.

Like when your 2 year old won't "listen" to you, and wants to go outside without a coat, why on earth punish the child for disobedience? Let her outside without a coat for a few minutes, so SHE can determine on her own, yeah, it is cold out!

And be gentle: no need for "see, I told you"'s to follow the child's own learning experience.

Sometimes I think "gentle disicpline" might be best described to the more corporal crowd as "the way you'd disicpline someone else's child" (that you can't spank or yell at in front of that child's parents.)
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