Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: surrounded by snowy mountains
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
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i really try to be as gentle possible when it comes to discipline, and all parts of mothering but i've fallen into a rut of late.
my kids are 5, going on 6(boy)..2, going on 3(girl) and 7 months old.
there really are no problems with the littlest one, but the way that my other two interact is so often rough and in some cases really aggressive, especially on my sons part. he gets so frustrated with his sister, mostly i think for no good reason. he doesn't get physical as much as just really angry, his tone of voice gets harsh, he yells and he says really mean things to her, and when i try to talk to him about it all i get is total passive aggressive behavior. silence, or he leaves the room. ive tried sitting him and my daughter down and letting everyone say how they feel, and why they are angry, hurt ect..but he wont say anything! i try talking to him one on one, having a cuddle, but he always changes the subject. i don't want him to say sorry per say, but i want closure and i get so frustrated myself that i have taken to yelling and or sending him to his room alone till he is ready to talk. but its not working. i eventually let him come back (usually he lurks in the hallways, rather than really being in his room)without really figuring it all out. it leaves me feeling so sad that my kids don't get along..and i worry about the impact its having on them separately as well as all of us as a family.
a bit of background..my partner and i separated in july, we had a rocky on and off relationship since my son was born (well, before that) he and i did fight, though i tried to keep it away from the kids i do have a ho temper at times.. so he has seen me yell and say mean things to his dad and vice versa..
the worst part is that alone they are both so gentle and wonderful. he can be the sweetest, most compassionate kid..its like he turns into someone else when he is mad/hurt ect..
i guess im asking for some other suggestions in ways that i can help my son especially, open up to me about why he is so angry and find some ways to help him not feel those ways.
and also im thinking about using some bach flower remedies to try to help the situation and his angry feelings..so any input there would be great
Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.... mama of 4 lovelies, an angel, and one on the way.
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