Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Fairborn, Ohio
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When I was a toddler, mom said the first time I had a meltdown in the grocery she just left...basket and everything and took me home. She had to do that two times and then I never did that again.
Mom never yelled, but she did a whole lot of reminding...'that doesn't belong there, it goes in your room'.
Now I am an adult and being neat is not easy for me, I really struggle with it. I can't imagine how I would be if mom didn't work with me. My mom is my hero and I hope to be as gentle and loving as she was and is.
I just can't bring myself to view her as manipulating me into doing chores. I guess in the LITERAL sense of the word one could say that it is manipulation. But the way it came across to me as a kid was, gotta do this first and then I can have fun and mom was a gentle leader reminding and encouraging us to take care of our responsibilities in a timely fashion.
I hope North of 60 is still here! If not I thought that was a cute way to exit! Maybe she's still at the park?
I hope this doesn't come across as smarmy (and I wish I'd had your mom!) but I do think we have to be careful about trying to judge our parenting in the present by the past.
Memory edits a lot. That doesn't mean we can't leave if there's a meltdown or address issues so that there aren't meltdowns... it just means that it may not be working the same way.
Anyways sorry to derail the thread a bit; I just hate hate hate the nostalgia/reality clash that I run into myself.
|Principles sustain a life; rules will constrain that very same life.|
aaaaahaaaaa - rules vs. principles - i like that!
sticky: just wanted to clarify what i said about your sister. i think i may have fumbled my words b/c i *meant* what you *said*! my thoughts were that since you said your parents "manipulated" that it obviously didn't fully "work" for her, for lack of a better word. while she may have been more "compliant" while under your parents' roof, her personality has dominated over the discipline she was raised by.
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