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#61 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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You may not touch the cats butt.

Its not such a problem anymore, now that we are over the intense potty learning stage - but - you may not touch your sister with your penis.

Vanessa... Happily married to a paramedic - celebrating 10 years of marriage!  Mama to one crazy 6 year old transformer and one chatterbox 4 year old princess.  Daycare provider to many jumping beans  I'm expecting my third in late November. 

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#62 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 07:20 PM
 
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Don't drink the tub water!

(I have started to take a sippy of water into the bathroom with us at bathtime so I can stem the ingestion of tub water. Which she likes to pee in, thankyouverymuch.)
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#63 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 07:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
Don't drink the tub water!

(I have started to take a sippy of water into the bathroom with us at bathtime so I can stem the ingestion of tub water. Which she likes to pee in, thankyouverymuch.)
Ha!We have this rule too but it's called "don't drink the dirty butt water".

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#64 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 07:50 PM
 
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Ha!We have this rule too but it's called "don't drink the dirty butt water".
OMG! I thought we were the only ones to call bath water dirty butt water! We have that rule, too, I just didn't think it was weird enough to mention compared to wearing the cat on their heads!


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#65 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 08:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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All these are so hilarious!
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#66 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 08:37 PM
 
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No putting the frankenbaby in other peoples beds when they are sleeping. It scares the crap outta them when they wake up at 3 am staring it in the eye.

That one was created this morning after I nearly had a heart attack at 3 in the morning because DD did that to me.

Another recent addition to our rule list:

If Skippy can't do it, neither can you.

This one came about because DH found The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the US Army list on the internet and decided that letting a sock puppet take over his chores was a great way to get out of them. (Among a few others)

Yes, adults have rules too

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#67 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 08:47 PM
 
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We have the undies at the table rule as well. (But mostly because I don't clean the chairs often and they're gross.)

"No, you may not check my butt for paper." She likes to clench her butt when I'm wiping so now she thinks toilet paper sticks in everyone's butt. :

Only food bigger than my thumb goes into plastic bags for the girls to run around with and eat out of. My youngest likes to shove food up her nose, so now we have a minimum size so it won't fit up her nose. Strangely enough it's irritating to try and get stuff out of her nose while she's screaming "there's something up my nose, there's something up my nose" at the top of her lungs. Um ... yeah, you put it up there.... :
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#68 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 08:52 PM
 
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Mama wipes her own butt. Thanks anyway.

mama to two DD's, 7 and 3 (3 rounds of IVF and more FET's than I can remember)
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#69 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 09:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Serrendipity View Post
OMG! I thought we were the only ones to call bath water dirty butt water! We have that rule, too, I just didn't think it was weird enough to mention compared to wearing the cat on their heads!


Serendipity
So did I.

Yeah,and in our house the no cat on the head rule would have to be for the cat.He is constantly trying to lay on my daughter's head.Maybe your kids should come over and "try him on".

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#70 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 09:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
Don't drink the tub water!

(I have started to take a sippy of water into the bathroom with us at bathtime so I can stem the ingestion of tub water. Which she likes to pee in, thankyouverymuch.)
Yeah, the sippy wouldn't have worked for me and my sister. I still remember the day we were having a good old time playing in and drinking the tub water, and then we were like "wait a sec - we peed in this water! EEW!!!!!".
The good news is, it hasn't killed anyone yet. Although now that I'm the mom - YUCK!
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#71 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 09:13 PM
 
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Last edited by Serrendipity : Today at 01:07 PM. Reason: i kant spel to gud sumtimes

Sometimes edit reasons really crack me up. You're so funny Serrendipity.

On topic, weird rules.. hmmm....
No putting the baby in the dryer even if he does think it's funny.

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#72 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 11:02 PM
 
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Take off your shoes and socks when you pee in the grass like a bear.
No goosing mama when she bends over!
Smell your own vulva fingers, no one wants to smell yours
Please don't eat raw flour.
Please don't eat baking soda.
Please don't eat corn starch.
These foods are not powdered sugar.
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#73 of 177 Old 09-29-2008, 11:39 PM
 
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the 2 yo girl I babysit CONSTANTLY has her hands down her pants -- on her butt, not scratching or anything, that's just where she likes to rest her hand... so... if you put your hands down your pants, you need to wash them before doing anything else!

also, undies always... everywhere/anywhere... not cause I"m prudish, but becasue I know they don't always wipe too good -- yick!

cat food is not for children...

do NOT jump on people or expect people to catch you if they don't know you're coming!!!

mommy is NOT, I repeat NOT a jungle gym...
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#74 of 177 Old 09-30-2008, 01:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by redhotmama View Post
Smell your own vulva fingers, no one wants to smell yours
I think I love you. I have had occasion to completely understand this rule.

~ Colleen ~ Joyful Unschooling Pagan mama to hearts.gifenergy.gifsuperhero.gifjog.gif and babyf.gif
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#75 of 177 Old 09-30-2008, 02:02 AM
 
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For the 3 year old:

Nudity is fine unless we are:

a) expecting company
b) going out in public
c) eating a meal together at the table

In these 3 circumstances one must at least put on underwear.

We don't talk about Mommy's vagina in public.

For the 13 year old:

If your little brother wants to give you an imaginary apple (pizza, glass of juice, balloon...), please take it so I don't have to listen to him cry.
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#76 of 177 Old 09-30-2008, 02:28 AM
 
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Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post


LOVE IT!
Yeah. This one is my favourite so far. I'm not done reading yet though.

Julie - Mom to Elizabeth (Libby) age 6, Penelope (Penny) age 5, Elliott age 29 months, and Oscar who is 1 year old!
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#77 of 177 Old 09-30-2008, 02:50 AM
 
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The ones we have that I haven't seen here yet :

"always hug from the front - hugs are from the front, attacks are from the back"

"if you answer the phone you must say something when you pick up, don't just breath into the receiver"

"never lock family members out of the house"

Julie - Mom to Elizabeth (Libby) age 6, Penelope (Penny) age 5, Elliott age 29 months, and Oscar who is 1 year old!
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#78 of 177 Old 09-30-2008, 04:08 AM
 
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i have them written out on the wall. haha


The Baby Rules

1. No eating cell phones or crayons

2. No poking the cat in the eye

3. No throwing blocks at the cat

4. No licking the carpet

5. No sitting on the cat while he's sleeping

6. No putting yogurt treats in my shoes

7. No painting the wall with your squash

8. No stuffing food down the front of your diaper (this is a common one)

9. No poking mommy in the nose while in the sling

10. No reaching down to touch the poo in the baby toilet
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#79 of 177 Old 09-30-2008, 05:32 AM
 
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For DS1
please do not tap my boob, ther are only 2 people in the world who get to tought mummys boob and your nto one of them, thankyouverymuch

For DD1
i CAN NOT hear you when you whine please speak up.

For DS2
when your sibling is screaming blue murder os you are laying on them it mean get off NOW

No laying on the baby, she doesnt like it

for DD2, the computer mouse, as much as tis shiny and has a cool ight on the bottom, is not a toy especialy when i am actualy using it

you maybe one of the 2 people in the world who gets to touch my boobs, thast doesnt NOT give you permission to nip, twiddle, pinch and twist them, and you can not bite either, you bite, your done

to all of you
stop asking the same question over and over day after day after day please
Kiz
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#80 of 177 Old 09-30-2008, 05:49 AM
 
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"if you want to poke eyeballs, you have your fingers and your eyeballs" came about after the two year old tried to get me to poke the 6 month old in the eye. . .
"feet are for walking, not brushing mommie's hair, eating with, cleaning brother's ears, or mixing cookie batter"
"we do not feed poopy diapers to the cat"
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#81 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frontstreetmama View Post

mommy is NOT, I repeat NOT a jungle gym...
YEAH! And she's not a tackling post either.....yeesh.

Oh, and no teddy bears in the bath. Especially mama's special mama/baby bear that she's had since she was five. :

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#82 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 12:32 AM
 
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You may not touch your little brother's penis, even if it IS little and cute as a button
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#83 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 12:34 AM
 
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No yoga in the bathtub.
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#84 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 12:44 AM
 
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no toys in your underpants
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#85 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 01:18 AM
 
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Thank you, thank you all for this thread. It is the funniest thing I have read in ages. All of the ones about imaginary friends have me rolling on the floor, but the one about the Swiffer about did me in!

Mama to four: 10, 7, 3, and 1

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#86 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 02:08 AM
 
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What a fun thread!
No sword fighting someone unless they have a sword too.
Mom is not base!
Don't breastfeed your brother.
Spit fights are not allowed in the car (or anywhere else for that matter)!
Keep your fingers out of other peoples' bottoms.
You can be a whale in the pool but not in the bathtub.
One I heard a friend of mine tell her kids while we were on the phone was "No karaoke while the baby is napping- followed by "I mean it"!
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#87 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 04:02 AM
 
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No playing with your penis at the dinner table.
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#88 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 12:24 PM
 
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No playing with your penis at the dinner table.
we have that one too
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#89 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 12:41 PM
 
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Mama is not a ride toy.

Mama's head is not a bounce toy.

No bouncing on Mama's belly, yes it is nice, but your sibling is starting to get big enough to notice being bounced on.

No wearing doggie for meals

Nursing is fine, playing with mama's nipples is not.

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#90 of 177 Old 10-01-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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This thread is such fun.

Here are our most important ones right now:

No somersaults on the bed
No feet in your food
Don't touch the dog's butt (what is the deal with the dog butts? apparently they're irresistible)

and again and again and again

No Drinking the Bath Water!

(sheesh, I'm glad to know we're not the only ones...)

Miss Chris and the guy in the city that never sleeps.
Making a home for our big girl 3/06 and our new boy 2/10
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