What is your oddest rule? - Mothering Forums
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Gentle Discipline > What is your oddest rule?
Spirit Dancer's Avatar Spirit Dancer 05:37 PM 09-27-2008
A little while ago there was a thread about what rules people had for their houses. Some were really funny and odd. That got me thinking- What is your strangest household rule?

Mine is for my two year old. "No you may NOT sit on mommy's lap while she sits on the toilet to poop!" He tries to climb on my lap everytime and I just cannot hold him and poop at the same time.

So what is your oddest rule?
Let's hear 'em!

Collinsky's Avatar Collinsky 05:58 PM 09-27-2008
LOL I think our strange rules would make me extremely unpopular. Dh is an MMA fighter, and we engage in a lot of fight-play with the kids... and consequently we've got some UFC style rules in this house: "Get off your sister if she taps out!"

We don't have many rules, but Tapping = Stop immediately is pretty important.
JustVanessa's Avatar JustVanessa 07:12 PM 09-27-2008
Don't kiss the toilet.....this is one I have to enforce daily.
Llyra's Avatar Llyra 07:57 PM 09-27-2008
No putting your pillow on the babies' heads.
Spirit Dancer's Avatar Spirit Dancer 10:04 PM 09-27-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustVanessa View Post
Don't kiss the toilet.....this is one I have to enforce daily.
LAMOA!
Hilarious.

these are all good. Anyone else?
MusicianDad's Avatar MusicianDad 10:11 PM 09-27-2008
Well, a lot of people seem to think our No singing/whistling/humming/drumming at the table is a weird one.

There's also:

No braiding someone elses hair if they are unaware your doing it.

No painting/colouring on others without permission.

And of course

No teasing the sea monkeys (that one's for DH )
elmh23's Avatar elmh23 10:28 PM 09-27-2008
No rideing on anyone who doesn't consent. Dh and the kids always play "Horsie and Dragon" where dh pretends to be either a horse or dragon and the children are his riders. We made the above rule when ds's friend H was learning to crawl. Ds thought is was wonderful to try and get on H's back for a ride.
griffin2004's Avatar griffin2004 10:30 PM 09-27-2008
Don't let the dog lick you. We've all seen where doggie's mouth has been...
Collinsky's Avatar Collinsky 10:33 PM 09-27-2008
Oh yeah, elmh22: When Ds2 started crawling, Ds1 was overjoyed that FINALLY the baby had a purpose. No riding the baby is a pretty common sense rule, IMO.
QueenOfThePride's Avatar QueenOfThePride 10:53 PM 09-27-2008
No, you can't arrest your brother.
mamaduck's Avatar mamaduck 10:59 PM 09-27-2008
OMG! We have the same rule! DH wrestled in HS. He taught the kids that they can wrestle but have to respect either the word "stop" or "tap twice." That's so funny!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Collinsky View Post
LOL I think our strange rules would make me extremely unpopular. Dh is an MMA fighter, and we engage in a lot of fight-play with the kids... and consequently we've got some UFC style rules in this house: "Get off your sister if she taps out!"

We don't have many rules, but Tapping = Stop immediately is pretty important.

i*wish's Avatar i*wish 11:16 PM 09-27-2008
My odd rule is absolutely no. licking. me.
For some reason my dd discovered that this sends me up to the ceiling and it's now one of her favorite things to get my attention.....AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I have goose pimples just typing this....
kungfu_barbi's Avatar kungfu_barbi 11:22 PM 09-27-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer View Post

So what is your oddest rule?
Let's hear 'em!


lift the seat when you stand to pee



peace
_betsy_'s Avatar _betsy_ 11:54 PM 09-27-2008
Don't kiss the cat's butt.

No riding the cat.

No tackling (a currently PG and rather wobbly) Mama from behind when she doesn't know you're going to do it!

The baby doll stroller is for the baby dolls, not you, not the cat(s), and no, Mama won't sit in it either. And wheels stay on the floor! (nothing like a 2 yo wildly waving a baby doll stroller in the air!)

You must wear something on your bum when sitting at the table to eat. (I may lift this one someday, but right now, she's potty learning, and I do NOT want my meals interrupted with cleaning up pee).


She's 2 and I'm due in Jan. I'm sure we'll have a whole new slew of rules then!
ktmama's Avatar ktmama 12:05 AM 09-28-2008
I'm totally there with the licking one....

AND

*Don't* even think about putting your feet on me.

Yes, you must wear undies at the table. No, you can't lay on the kitchen floor while I'm cooking. Please put your clothes in the hamper when you strip them off. Actually, I have TONS of rules....
Twwly's Avatar Twwly 12:09 AM 09-28-2008
No peeing on the cat.
NewMama2007's Avatar NewMama2007 12:13 AM 09-28-2008
DD has a new habit of sticking her finger in things.

That has led to:

"please don't violate the dog, honey" (DH wasn't quick enough one day and she did end up..."anally exploring" (?) the dog. Dog was NOT happy. Mommy contemplated bleaching baby's hand. Decided that was a bad idea and spent 15 minutes scrubbing her right pointer finger. Tons of fun.)

and

"mommy can pick her own nose, thank you!" (her favorite thing to do while nursing now. But not with her right pointer finger. :shudder: )
Deer Hunter's Avatar Deer Hunter 12:14 AM 09-28-2008
I have a real problem with germs known as germaphobia. I do not condone anything to go in the baby's mouth that should not be there. The only things that go into my child's mouth are things that are meant for that purpose, such as teething toys, an they must not touch the floor for any length of time.

Should this happen, I take a baby toothbrush, brush the child's teeth, and then I disinfect the toy. The child looses priveledges to that toy for putting it into his mouth for a time. I do this as soon as kids start putting things into their mouth, even at the age of six months. Taking the toy away is enough to send the message that that is not acceptable.


Edited to ad:

Teething toys are returned immediately after disinfecting both child's mouth and the toy. However, other toys not meant to be in the mouth are taken away. I though I should clarify that. The message that I want to send is that the floor is a filthy place, and things that go into the mouth won't touch it, and that toys that do not belong into the mouth will never go there.

To avoid this much of the time, I am all for a play yard--fencing that you can make as big as the entire room to keep the child safely contained, and then a sheet is down on the floor to shield them from the filth. This way, I don't have to worry about germs.

I sure some of you may find me strange. But that is okay.
shelley4's Avatar shelley4 12:33 AM 09-28-2008
"no waking up your sister's imaginary babies! you know they need their sleep!"
TattooedMama's Avatar TattooedMama 01:00 AM 09-28-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
You must wear something on your bum when sitting at the table to eat. (I may lift this one someday, but right now, she's potty learning, and I do NOT want my meals interrupted with cleaning up pee).

We have this one too. No Naked Butts at the Table. :
GooeyRN's Avatar GooeyRN 01:03 AM 09-28-2008
Do not lick me, and

Do not sniff my butt.
Fuamami's Avatar Fuamami 01:17 AM 09-28-2008
"Please masturbate in the privacy of your bedroom."
Fyrestorm's Avatar Fyrestorm 01:27 AM 09-28-2008
It's not my job to discipline your imaginary friends.
bscal's Avatar bscal 01:35 AM 09-28-2008
LMAO!! These are great!

We have the No Naked Butts at the Table Rule too! (I've had to enforce that one a LOT lately, 3 yr old is potty learning and as soon as she's naked my almost 6 yr old gets naked too.)

We also have the following:
You may not bite or lick the dog.

Only kiss with your mouth CLOSED! (Nothing worse than being french kissed by a drooling 3 yr old.)

Do NOT put boogers on your sister or brother! (This statement is always followed by hand washing.)

You may only touch your privates in your bedroom. (DH "walked in" on my oldest exploring herself on our living room couch one day and was mortified.)

Do not touch babies that aren't ours without asking permission first! And then only touch their feet, not their faces or hands.

Beth
MusicianDad's Avatar MusicianDad 02:03 AM 09-28-2008
Waldorf PC, I'm wondering if you understand that at six months a baby doesn't have the reasoning skills to understand what your trying to teach. It's also important to note that at 6 months old a baby doesn't necessarily have the same idea of object perminece as an adult or older child. To them the toy is gone for good. Finally, at that age the most sensitive part of the body is the tongue and it's how they explore textures and such.

Yes, I'm a germaphobe too, but I wouldn't expect a 6 month old to understand that I don't like him/her to put toys in the mouth and why, or be able to connect toy in mouth = toy gone.
charmander's Avatar charmander 02:09 AM 09-28-2008
For my 4 year old:

You cannot poop on the grass in the backyard.

(only on the patio )
LaLaLaLa's Avatar LaLaLaLa 02:30 AM 09-28-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelley4 View Post
"no waking up your sister's imaginary babies! you know they need their sleep!"

For a long time we had to have a similar rule: "You may NOT pretend to drink your brother's pretend soup!" Almost always followed by our instructions: "Now you need to pretend to give him more soup. Right. NOW."

Only a four-year-old could have come up with such a ridiculously effective way to make her 2-year-old brother scream.
34me's Avatar 34me 02:31 AM 09-28-2008
Do not sit on your younger siblings head, it will not hatch
gaudynight's Avatar gaudynight 02:33 AM 09-28-2008
Don't dress the cat in the baby's clothes.
Embee's Avatar Embee 04:04 AM 09-28-2008
I am so loving this thread. Humor

Lately, DS has been well, penis oriented. So the latest ODD rules are:

When out in public:
"Keep your hands where I can see 'em!" (delivered in mock police officer tone.)

or

"DS, Stop using your penis as an air guitar!"



The best to all!
Em
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