Boy, these kids get us jumping through hoops sometimes, huh? I've been through the diaper torture, the getting dressed (for outside or at all), and the grabbing things that we shouldn't (well, still in that phase. The biggest problems we have right now with dd 13 mos are stripping, taking medicine and eating non-edibles :P Here's what we've done to help the other stuff:
-Anytime there seems to be a lot of baggage around one area, like we walk into her bedroom where she usually gets changed and she starts fussing, we change how that space is used. No sense trying to get happy results when there is already that much neg. energy associated with it. Dd is like an elephant - she seems to never forget, and one bad incident can steal all the good vibes from a place for months to come if we don't actively counteract it. Diaper changes got moved to the living room floor for a bit, and play happened in her room quite a lot more until she was over it. Sometimes just a different position helped; when dd was just starting to walk, anything that was to be done that required her laying down was going to be a tragedy. We did as much as we could standing up.
- We gave her as much power as possible. Like for putting on her coat, it's up to her to put her arm through, we don't push or pull just guide her. And encourage her lots :P Or for medicine, we won't squish the dropper, just put it in her mouth and she can do it. Or, if she needs to get dressed but she's playing with something, we show her how to change hands so we can put her arm through.
-Play games/sing whenever possible. Ok that's maybe obvious, but stuff like peeking at her through the sleeve or neck of her shirt or jacket, playing hide & seek with her hands and feet etc. really make it more interesting, and I think give her the idea of whats coming up.
- 'One finger touch' is great for semi-dangerous stuff (coffee cups, stuff with lids, nightlights, etc.) Dd doesn't always 'get' this, but she does get that we're not trying to stop her. She just finds it hard not to grab when its a *really* good thing.
-the diaper/dressing drama really went away pretty suddenly for us, she just started helping without encouragement almost overnight and now seems to expect that sort of stuff.
Good luck!!! -jen