I'm so impatient - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 06-21-2006, 07:10 AM - Thread Starter
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I feel like such a bad mom. I've been so impatient with DD for the last 2 days. She hasn't napped I think largely because my nipples hurt and she squirms and squirms trying to settle down to sleep, which I can hardly stand. I get my fill of it much more quickly than I used to, which just starts a terrible cycle of her not taking a nap, being irritable, then me being irritable because I'm so tired and hormonal and a tired, rampaging 3 year old is a lot to deal with all while trying to work at home for income that we depend on.

So, I'm vowing today to be more patient with her. She only nurses a few times a day (before and after sleep, basically). I can limit the length of nursing for the after sleep parts, but it's clearly not working for the sleep parts. I wasn't actually trying to wean her, it's just hard nursing for 20 minutes when you're hurting!

Others in my boat? Admittedly, I'm worried about how this will all play out when there's another baby in the picture....
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#2 of 7 Old 06-21-2006, 03:37 PM
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i'm in the same boat and trying hard to be more patient. i find myself walking away for a few seconds and taking deep breaths if i get too overwhelmed. we'll make it through!
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#3 of 7 Old 06-21-2006, 03:53 PM
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A few weeks ago I was in the same boat. My patience has gotten a lot better as m/s and fatigue have waned. I'm starting to feel human again and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

You honestly have my sympathies regarding the nursing pain. I have never nursed during a pg, but some mornings I can barely stand the water from the shower dripping on my breasts. My nipples are so painful, I can't imagine the discomfort and pain nursing must cause.
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#4 of 7 Old 06-21-2006, 05:03 PM
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You are not alone. I have been limiting the length of the nursing sessions because of the discomfort. The twiddling is what drives me bonkers! Sometimes DS will accept just cuddling with me to fall asleep, sometimes not.

I feel like this is just the natural progression of our weaning process. I feel that my DC is old enough now (age 3 1/2 years) to accept some limits especially when nursing is uncomfortable for me! There will have to be limits with a new baby around, so this is good practice for that time.
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#5 of 7 Old 06-21-2006, 05:18 PM
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I have felt like the worst mom in the world to DD
I have no patience for anything, and find myself snapping at her at the smallest thing. :
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#6 of 7 Old 06-23-2006, 12:49 AM
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We were really struggling with the nursing - it has never hurt before and it started hurting so much. He also just wasn't getting much milk, and was having a terrible time going to sleep, and was waking up really hungry in the middle of the night. It was ruining our cuddle time and we were both so frustrated. I finally made the decision to wean for both of our sakes. I knew I would enjoy cuddling with him much more than nursing, and that cuddling would be relaxing while nursing just kind of sucked (excuse the pun). We made a big production out of the cuddle/sippy cup sessions. His dad warms up the the milk and then we sing a song about the milk man coming, then I cuddle him and rock him and hold the sippy cup for him so he can still feel like the baby. It surprised me how well he took all of this - kind of like he has been waiting for me to make this move. I also can't believe how much milk he downs at nap time and bed time (going to make potty training interesting). He really must have been struggling with my unproductive breasts. On a side note, have any of you tasted your milk lately? The taste of mine had changed dramatically. No longer sweet, but very salty, almost like blood. I can't imagine he was enjoying it very much.

I make sure that I tell him every day even though there isn't any more milk in my breasts, that I will never ever run out of cuddles. I also let him touch my breasts while we rock - they aren't irritated any more so it doesn't bother me. He seems to be losing interest in touching them, though he still likes to touch them when we take a bath. We spent about a week tapering off (all the while explaining the lots of cuddles/not much milk thing), and then I went away for the weekend. When I came back, I explained to him that there wasn't any more milk in my breasts, but that I had lots of cuddles for him and would give him a milk sippy cup whenever he asked for it. We use both cows milk and soy, and he enjoys getting to choose what kind of milk he gets at nap and bed time.

I know that weaning is definitely not the answer for every one, but I needed to give some hope that it is possible if it is what you want or need. Like so many things in life, it was much easier than I anticipated. The key for us was consistancy. Once we made the decision, we stuck with it. He cried a few times, and I gave him a lot of love and comfort. We also tried to make it as positive as we could, and we didn't blame the new baby. For our guy, we just made it about him turning 2. Perhaps it isn't totally honest, but I told him that he had a wonderful 2nd birthday, and that when babies turn 2, the milk begins to leave mama's breasts and that he would need to have him milk from a sippy cup and that I would always cuddle him. He even repeats that now (baby, 2, no milk booboo, milk sippy cup). I also want to add that the week after we weaned, he got roseola and had a high fever for several days. It would have been very easy to start nursing again, but he was a champ and was fine with being rocked and cuddles and having his milk from a cup.

For some reason, I felt a lot of internal pressure to continue nursing once we conceived. But for me, it was ruining my cuddle time with my son and leading to a lot of frustration and irritability for both of us. I'm really glad I made this decision, even though it was a heartwrenching decision to make. I am happy to report that it hasn't changed our intimacy, but one thing has changed - he is becoming closer to his dad and really enjoys having daddy bring him his sippy cup. I've even been able to sleep in the last several mornings and let the two of them hang out - which was unheard of before.
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#7 of 7 Old 06-23-2006, 01:24 AM
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We are also having sleep / nursing problems. My nipples are really sore, and I think my milk is low and tastes bad too (he's been saying "yuck" all day while nursing). My ds has been staing up until 11 and not napping until 3 or 3:30. Of course, this is also because we are far enough north that we have about 19 hrs of sunlight right now.

I've been trying to find alternative ways to mostly put my ds to sleep. He's out driving with dad and a sippy cup of hot milk right now. I've been walking him in the stroller at nap time, and mostly he'll just nurse for a few minutes after that or the car ride to fall asleep.

I want to wean him before the new baby comes because he is a terrible nurser and we have had a really difficult nursing relationship since the start. So maybe this is just a sign that the time has come. I wasn't expecting it to come until after we went on vacation (ie - sept) when he would be 2, but he suddenly seems to be growing up all at once, so I guess its just time.

Jill , mom to Andrew (09/04), Aaron(01/07), and Emma (11/09)
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