OT rant from an exhausted, pregnant mom - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 10-26-2006, 11:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is really just a vent.... I am SO tired, annoyed and grumpy : I just want to stay home (withOUT DD or DH) in bed today. However, I am here at work. Which is actually better than being home, which says something. My DD is going through a rough two year old phase. She just doesn't want to eat much, which means that she is very hungry at nighttime/bedtime. She has woken up before 5AM several days in a row because she is HUNGRY. Which means she gets very crabby, very early. She struggles with napping anymore, which is fine when she sleeps from 8 to 7 but when she naps, she falls asleep at 9:30 and then wakes up at 5 because she is starving... Last night she finally ate dinner, which meant she wasn't hungry but then she woke up at 11pm and was ready to play. She didn't fall back to sleep until well after midnight and was up at 7.

Then, to top it off... We have this dog.... He has been agressive towards DD, nipping at her (usually because she was messing with him/his food). We got him as a little puppy in Dec. 05, raised him with her and our other pets. He just doesn't seem to "get" that DD is not "beneath him" in the pack order of the house. He exhibits a lot of dominance behaviors towards her. We gave him to a friend of ours that does not have children nor plan on having them, and he has done great. BUT he called last night and said he is moving to Washington DC and will be giving the dog back to us THIS WEEKEND!!!! I was so upset about this, I cried and cried last night. I can't handle having this dog in the house. His agression towards DD means that they can't be together, ever, which is a huge pain as DD loves him and wants to be with him. Our other dog spends all day trying to dominate Bailey because he is being dominate towards DD, which amounts to perpetual chaos. We do have a fenced yard, but he barks and barks at everything. So we have to let him in. We don't have a basement or somewhere to easily seperate them. It's just a big mess. I have contacted all the rescues in our area and placed ads on Craigslist, Petfinder, etc. to try to place this dog ASAP. I am afraid that his agression will prevent us from placing him anywhere and I extremely stressed about this. (So-- if you know anyone childless that wants a truly sweet dog that is very not good with kids, LMK! We'll drive to you!) Anyway, I just feel awful about the whole thing. Getting Bailey was my idea and I feel that we have let him down by not training him enough, working with him enough, etc.

So, I just needed to vent. I am tired, stressed out and generally sad. Blech... Thanks for "listening..."

sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

stork-suprise.gif expecting the surprise of our lives Fall 2012!
 

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#2 of 9 Old 10-26-2006, 11:32 AM
 
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Hang in there mama! Everything is gonna work out!
I don't have any advice for you, just wanted to offer you a little encouragement. I'm sure one of the shelters in the area will find a good home for him, they have lots of people they deal with and there is bound to be someone looking for a dog like him!
And don't feel like you did anything wrong with his training - dogs have personalitys too and his is just dominant. You can't change that. It sounds like you have done the best you can for him so far, ok?
As for your daughter not sleeping/eating, I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I'm sure someone will have some ideas!
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#3 of 9 Old 10-26-2006, 08:32 PM
 
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Awww mama...s to you. I couldn't read without posting. I'm sorry you're feeling so yucky today.

I hope that the day got better for you.

Perhaps it's time to call it quits with this dog? In my family, any dog that even nipped at a child once would have been gone within a day (that's not a judgement, just how it was). There are plenty of people out there who do not have children and would be willing to take him in.

As for your daughter, man, isn't it rough to have a two year old and be pregnant? I haven't been near the mama that I want to be lately and it makes me feel so awful. I try to tell myself that this will pass tho and he will grow out of it and I won't be pregnant forever.

s to you.

*~* A * Mama to C and A * *~* I blog - PM me for the URL
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#4 of 9 Old 10-26-2006, 08:41 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for the stress you're dealing with! I hope you've found some strength and comfort throughout the day.

Regarding the dog...I know how tough it can be. I am very conflicted about what to do in situations like that. I am a HUGE dog lover, so I am always partial to the the little fuzzy angels. And, I grew up with three dogs who occasionally "nipped" or growled at me, and I think that it taught me respect for other creatures and boundaries. HOWEVER...you do not need the extra stress of protecting your human family from your canine family, especially when you'll have a new baby and a toddler. And, it's definitely not fair to the dog to put it in a situation where it is likely, or even possible, that it will do something really harmful. Prevention is always the best answer. If you cannot feasibly separate the dog and the kids in your home, then you owe it to the dog, yourself, and your kids to "rehome" the dog. It sounds like you are trying to be compassionate and responsible and you are to be commended for that!! It would not be fair to just dump the dog at a kill shelter, but it would be equally unfair to keep the dog in your home. I think you're taking the right steps. It might take a while, but you will find the right solution.

Best of luck to you!!!
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#5 of 9 Old 10-26-2006, 09:04 PM
 
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Oh Mama
Some days it just feels like this : , right?
Maybe I'm extra grumpy but WTH about the guy returning the dog? Did he think you were giving him a "30 day back guarantee" or something?
Frankly, he took the dog and you cannot have this to deal with. Maybe he would be willing to assist you if you call him and just tell him the circumstances, that it's stressing you out and you need HIM (since he has taken responsibility for the dog) to find the dog a new home-not with you!
As for your little one not eating during the day, my 5 yr old has been doing the same thing!
He just started school so he is more active/distracted during the day....then all of sudden he's starving at bedtime when we've finally settled into bed after a warm bath and brushed teeth. My bedtime has been at 8 p.m. too so I am anxious for both of us to go to sleep. Then he wakes me up at the crack of dawn too asking for toasty O's or a waffle or whatever. The last few days I have been keeping these packets of peanut butter crackers by the bed so he can nibble during these times I really just don't want to get up. Of course, this means crumbs in the bed...my trade off for a few more minutes of rest.

Love to you!
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#6 of 9 Old 10-26-2006, 09:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ahappymel View Post
Frankly, he took the dog and you cannot have this to deal with. Maybe he would be willing to assist you if you call him and just tell him the circumstances, that it's stressing you out and you need HIM (since he has taken responsibility for the dog) to find the dog a new home-not with you!
Good point! I would suggest making sure he knows the difference between rescue organizations and kill shelters, though, in order to avoid a sad ending.
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#7 of 9 Old 10-26-2006, 09:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for replying everyone, it's nice to have some support when the going gets tough. I am feeling better now... DH is putting DD down, so I get a break, and we found out that we have until the end of November before we get Bailey back permenatly. I talked to our friend and explained that we need to find somewhere else for him, we can't have him here.

We've gotten two positive replies from local rescues. One that is considering taking him, the other that is full but will take us on as an "owner-assist" so basically we would foster him and they would let us post his pic/description and show him at their adoption events. We are finding him a new home, no question. After we realized that the nipping at DD wasn't just an isolated event, we began to look for a new home. The last time he nipped it was both unprovoked and he caught skin (didn't break it but left a mark) and that was it. No question, he is gone. We won't take him to a kill shelter but we are doing everything in our power to find him a new home.

The deal with the guy returning the dog is that he was unsure about taking him in the first place because he wasn't in a permanent job situation. He only agreed to take Bailey (the dog) on the understanding that he could "return" him if he moved. We have known this guy since high school and he has been living in the same town, in essentially the same job for like 6 years, so it didn't really occur to use it was a real possibility that he was going to get a new job and move. In retrospect, I wonder if this was in the works.... It's moved awfully fast. We've already explained the situation (he stood up in our wedding, so he is good friend) I just don't think he gets it. He is a single guy, living with other single guys. The concept of pregnant/toddler/stressed out doesn't really make sense to him. He is asking his roommate if he would consider fostering him while we look for a new home. We are asking some other single friends the same thing-- would they foster him, while we search for a permenant home? My mom said she would take him temporarily as well, if we don't find anyone else in the next 3 weeks. I am trying to think positively...

Thanks again for the support

sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

stork-suprise.gif expecting the surprise of our lives Fall 2012!
 

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#8 of 9 Old 10-26-2006, 09:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ilovemyavery View Post
I am trying to think positively...


right intentions + postitive thinking + effort + compassion = unexpected good results!

I've been in a similar situation, and things have a weird way of working themselves out...

Glad you're getting a bit of stress relief!
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#9 of 9 Old 10-27-2006, 12:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by swtpesq View Post
Good point! I would suggest making sure he knows the difference between rescue organizations and kill shelters, though, in order to avoid a sad ending.
Oh yes...I definitely would not wanting him taking the dog to a kill shelter as a solution
Carrie, I've got to tell you that even though I have my own stress (and thank you for your empathy, Hon!), this would stress me out too.
Pets require a lot of love/dedication and work...they are like kids...they are a commitment!
It sounds like you've already got a lot on your plate and more to come.
I can understand why the idea of having the doggie back in the house represents more work to you (it is...and I have to say, I commend you for taking pet ownership so seriously because so many don't).
My little one keeps asking for a cat/dog and I just can't do it...I feel like I can hardly keep us brushed/fed/butts clean LOL
A pet would be more responsibility that I honestly can't take on right on.
Love to you!
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