How are the siblings doing? - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-28-2007, 11:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DD was doing pretty good up until the last few days! I think she has realized that the baby is not leaving and her life has changed for good. She doesn't direct her anger at the baby, but is actually very sweet and kind with him. It's toddler behavior times 10 though... Not listening, ignoring us, throwing HUGE tantrums over nothing, etc. I know that it is totally normal, DH is having a harder time with her behavior. He thinks she is "getting away with more than she should." She is directing most of this at DH, I think she blames him for doing the things with her that I normally do. Like he has stolen my time away, not the baby. It doesn't help that her schedule is so totally disrupted. Daddy is home from work, I'm home from work, Grandma isn't here to play with her (Grandma watches her while I work 20 hours a week). The whole routine is out of whack. We'll see how things go once we are home alone! She just had an hour long tantrum that ended in her crying to sleep in my arms : This is hard! How are the rest of the big brothers & sisters hanging in there?

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Old 01-29-2007, 12:20 AM
 
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Koa started acting out about 6 weeks before baby's arrival. Similar behavior to what you are going through. He's gotten really sassy lately, especially towards my mom who is here helping out. We were really surprised that he's been so gentle and loving towards the baby--he loves to cuddle and kiss on him and the biggest shock is that he has no jealousy over my breastfeeding (Koa only weaned last October).

He has gotten much closer to daddy and we did our best to foster that the last few months knowing that DH would have to take over a large part of the toddler parenting, especially if I had ended up having a repeat cesarean (thankfully, we had a VBAC). It's been rather sad for me to see my firsts baby pulling away from me and giving so much love to daddy, but I'm glad that it has helped ease the transition for him.
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Old 02-07-2007, 12:55 AM
 
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Grace is actually doing pretty well still! Michael is only 2 weeks old, but my 21 month old is still being fairly sweet and loving. lol
She has thrown maybe 3-4 extra tantrums a day, but for the most part, she has ben good! She does random tantrums too, like right after she wakes up from a nap or something like that... never when I would understand if she got upset (like if I told her no about something because I was busy with the baby or something like that).....
We have kept her routine fairly consistent. She still wakes at the same time, eats at the same times, we have added in an extra nap that she seems more than willing to take... and she bathes and goes to bed at the same time. It's the schedule she kind of molded for herself a few months ago and is still working well!

What has really surprised me is that she doesn't wake up at night when Michael cries!! This is shocking because a few weeks before the birth, she was waking up multipl times a night just bawling her head off.... but now she sleeps through all of Michael's crying just fine!!

I think going from no kids to 1 was WAY harder than 1 to 2 so far! BUT don't quote me on that because we haven't gone out as a family together yet. LOL!
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Old 02-07-2007, 01:37 AM
 
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Lexi was doing really well and so was I until the last couple of days. Everything has been so hectic so that hasn't really helped much. I think that now that the family isn't here everyday and dh is at work, she is really realizing how much less attention she is getting. I feel bad and I really am trying to give 110%, but Emma nurses like every hour during the day and I'm not great at multitasking yet. She acts very loving toward Emma, then gets really excited and pokes her eye I think it will take a little time, but everything will fall into place
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Old 02-07-2007, 02:18 AM
 
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DD1 is doing pretty well. She's definitly been a bit more whiney than usual, but overall seems to be doing pretty well. I'm sure it helps that DH has been off since DD2 was born, so she's pretty much had him to herself. I can certainly see where she's become closer to DH (ie: asks for Daddy when she falls or is upset), but I don't really see that as a negative thing.

I have been really lacking patience with DD1 though. I'm doing better, but the first few days she was just really getting on my nerves for some reason. It's helped both of us that we've instituted a Mommy/daughter snuggle time at bedtime now. I've always done bedtime, but now I actually lay down with her and snuggle for 15-20 min instead of just sitting on the edge of the bed & singing her a couple songs. She really looks forward to it & almost every night asks for her "snuggle time" as her way of saying she's ready for bed.

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Old 02-07-2007, 10:09 AM
 
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nak- and really no good at it yet!

DD1 (alomost 4) is doing OK- more whining than usual ("but I don't waaaannnnttttoooo") and will not go anywhere unless I go with her. She had an enormous tantrum when I went to my 2 week pp visit with the mw on monday alone. But overall, she's doing pretty well. She loves Corryn- a little too excitedly sometimes as well, only hers involves pulling on C's head! She's pretty happy with sitting with me to read while C nurses- and amazingly, has done really well with seeing C nurse all the time. I had really mixed feelings about tandem nursing and wasn't really willing to increase nursing DD1 beyond the very little she does now. She's only asked to nurse extra times a few times and only once did she even get little upset at not getting to. She's generally not one to accept no easily, so I feel like she's really ok with the nursing part.

Her incessanst chatter gets to me sometimes, but it's my issue and not anything she's doing to be annoying. She only stops talking when she's asleep! She is enjoying the extra attnetion from daddy, though I do wonder how she'll do once it's just the 3 of us home. My "one moment at a time" mantra does seem to really help.
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:05 PM
 
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Dd1 has done really well for the most part, occasionally she needs Mama NOW. But she is 23 months old so that is to be expected. Night time has been hardest on her, she is a snuggler and she is not used to having to wait for mama love if mama is nursing baby brother. So we've had a couple of nights where dh had to take her to sleep on the futon so we could all sleep, and she did amazingly well with that...while I cried...it is so hard to see your baby upset and know that you changed her life even if it is such a great thing and you know it is such a blessing. Ah, mixed emotions. Anyway, last couple of nights have been good though, so fingers crossed, hopefully she is adjusting to the new nighttime thing.
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Old 02-07-2007, 09:17 PM
 
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Mine are doing scarily well. I keep waiting for the tantrums to start but so far so good! I think it helps that they have each other, and they are a bit older, so they dont need me so much anyway. They are also used to me being cranky and less available because of the pregnancy... I think they are getting more of me now, because I have so much more patience!

In any case DS is totally in love with the baby, begs to hold her as soon as he gets home from school, etc and is being a real help with DD1. She likes the baby too but I think she is waiting for her to DO something, she thinks she's kinda boring (which, right now, she is! lol).

I'm sure both of them will love having my mom here starting Sunday and then maybe after she goes the novelty will have worn off, the baby will be awake more and more needy, and then things will be difficult? We'll see.
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Old 02-09-2007, 10:37 AM
 
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Anyone esle's older child(ren) act like they want nothing to do with you? Mine vacillates between wanting to be one of my appendages (her normal disposition) and wanting absolutely nothing to do with me, even if I'm sitting down to play with her.
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Old 02-13-2007, 06:18 PM
 
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Hayden is wonderful with the baby - very helpful and loving. BUT.......very whiny and has reverted back to saying "no" when we ask him to do things like dress himself or brush his teeth. We are also seeing some tantrums when he can't have his way. I think it's just his way of dealing with all of the recent changes.
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Old 02-13-2007, 06:36 PM
 
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We've had lots of whining too ands lots more meltdowns over small stuff. We had a really awful day yesterday. She got upset with me when I couldn't read her a book right that minute and first hit me, then bit me hard enough to slightly break the skin and leave a bruise. Then she kicked at me.

I don't know where this comes from- we don't do these things. She's so angry right now. Fortunately today's a better day, but dh & I were both just drained after that episode yesterday- as was DD1.
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Old 02-13-2007, 06:45 PM
 
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I'm glad today is better for you Wendy. I thinkg the tantrums and the kicking, etc. are their attempts to control their little world. They don't always have the vocabulary to express themselves and even when they do have the right words, get frustrated when Mom doesn't comply. I noticed our kiddos are close in age, so we're dealing with a lot of the same issues.
It must be difficult for them to have to learn patience (something I sturggle with as an adult) and to have to share their Mom and Dad and their attention and time. Hang in there.
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Old 02-23-2007, 10:13 AM
 
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Can we do updates on the siblings? I'm happy to say we are really doing a lot better. I hope that continues to be the case since we're newly on our own now, but DD1 is definitely less volatile. There for a little while everything was getting a lot of abuse from her- the toys were being hit together, the dog was being yelled at, she was hitting at me. But after our particularly bad day that I mentioned in a previous post, she's evened out some. She's sleeping more normally (for her) at night and is a lot more willing to do things that she's capable of doing on her own- except wiping when she goes to pee : But I figure that's minor and she'll return to it at some point.

I can't really point to any one thing that helped except time. So how's everyone else doing?
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