Who will attend your birth? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 11:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Who do you expect and want to have attend your birth?

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#2 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 11:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I expect to have my 2 midwives, and the midwife intern.

I'm considering having two doulas, someone to be there for the boys, DH and myself

Shelley, mother, wife, sister, aunt, friend.
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#3 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 11:37 PM
 
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Dp, and oldest dd. My mom will be around as dd's support person in case she decides it's too much. She really wants to be there so we'll see when the time comes. Other than that, I expect there will be a nurse.

mum to a crew...
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#4 of 30 Old 08-10-2006, 11:42 PM
 
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My husband, maybe a doula, and whatever hospital staff they try to stick on me oh and my midwife

Homeschooling SAHM to 3 children under 5 + one on the way.
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#5 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 12:00 AM
 
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We are going to do a home birth and there will be my dh, my mom, our midwife and another midwife because our midwife is an intern and there has to be a licensed midwife at the birth.

No one else. Unfortunately, we just found out that my mil wants to be there for the birth. But we are going to tell her that we are not inviting anyone to the birth and are asking everyone to wait 1 month after the baby is born to visit. That way, we have - along with the baby - have time to adjust to our new life together and I have time to get a good start on breast feeding. We very much hope that she understands and does not take it personally. Either way, we will not be asking anyone to attend the birth.

The only reason my mom is going to be there is because she lives here and I want my mom there! I have the right to decide that I think. It just makes me feel comfortable to have both my mom and dh. She is not a pushy person at all and can be extremely helpful. She also respects our choices/decisions.
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#6 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 12:21 AM
 
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My DP, my three boys, and my two best friends, Jen and Tarah.
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#7 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 12:22 AM
 
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Just my DH, midwife, any nurses they stick in there... and MAYBE a doula (if I can find an in-training one that will do it for free- we're poor haha). I really don't want anyone really besides my DH- no relatives or friends. They can see me and baby AFTERWARDS thank you very much.
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#8 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 12:26 AM
 
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My dh, maybe my mom, my aunt, and my two midwives.

Sarah knit.gif married to Micah, mama to dd1 (9), dd2 (7) and ds (2). We love to homeschool.gif h20homebirth.gif goorganic.jpgchicken3.gif
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#9 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 01:25 AM
 
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well dp and dd will be with me until it is actually time to push then they will be in the hall. so my ob, her nurse and my nurse will be there. for some reason i'm more comfortable with medical staff then my dp. he just made me nervous last time... plus he got a little dizzy when it was time to push. i would have dd in there but i think it's going to be too tramatic for a 1 year old.

Jarrod & Nataleigh Est. 2004
DD Jayde 2005
DS William 2007
DD Lilleigh 2008
DS Edward 2010
DS Mikah 2012
Due July 2013
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#10 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 04:20 AM
 
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just me and my partner
(UC )
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#11 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 04:48 AM
 
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dh and a midwife. hopefully we won't need an ob again. that sucked.
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#12 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 05:02 AM
 
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No idea!
I was planning to have another uc with my dp there and possibly the kids if they are awake. But dp and I have just split up so everything is a bit up in the air.
Hope I can come up with a good arrangement where someone can come in time to look after my kids in another room and the midwife is too late or something!

Ruth, mum to B (9), P (8) and T (5)

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#13 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 08:37 AM
 
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Well, the midwives, and the kids will be in the house. They slept through it last time. Probably my mom, SIL, and best friend will also be around to help with the kids. And of course dh. Oh, and my dad too. He likes to pace the hallway.
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#14 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 09:33 AM
 
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Well, my Dh will be responsible for the girls, and DS will be away at school. DH will not be at the birth due to religious reasons. But I have found through experience that I don't like to be alone in labor and like lots of support.

So my mw will be there, and she also has a 2nd mw she does births with as well as an intern. So there will be 3 people on her team - but they know they are there mostly for doula skills and not much else. I may also invite 1-2 of my doula students to come, still deciding. They all need to attend births for certification, but I am not sure if I want my students at my birth! LOL
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#15 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 10:07 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow2911
No idea!
I was planning to have another uc with my dp there and possibly the kids if they are awake. But dp and I have just split up so everything is a bit up in the air.
Wow, Ruth! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate! I hope it goes exactly as you'd like!
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#16 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 10:13 AM
 
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Ya know what my dream is? To have the baby in the middle of the night by myself, and then to bring the baby to the family bed early in the morning and show everybody!

With Eva's birth, I labored on my own, and my hubby played with Sophia until I got deep into active labor (then my SIL took Sophia until the baby was born), then I just bossed him around until transition when I asked him for advice ... that lasted just a bit, and then I started pushing and he and I caught her. We called Sophia home, and after a couple hours she cut the cord. That was a great birth!

Sophia doesn't want to be at this birth, but Eva kind of does. I feel a bit uncomfortable because I don't want to let her down, but I really want to be on my own....we'll see.
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#17 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 10:26 AM
 
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I really don't want my mother there. She was relatively okay during my labor was DD, but I knew the whole time she was just waiting for my to lash out at DH, because she thinks it's hilarious when women do that. Plus, I got sick and tired of hearing how *her* labors went, especially when I was laying there closing in on hour 30 (of 33). Of all days, the day I'm in labor should only be about me, DH, and our baby!

That said, I need DH (he's my rock) and want my SIL to be therem partially to prove to her that you CAN have a very intervention free birth, and also because my own sister lives 700 miles away, and SIL is the next best thing. She rocks! Then my midwife and whatever birth center support staff they require.

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#18 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 11:14 AM
 
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For us, dh and I...and I since we will be at the hospital I think dd will be there but my best friend is going to come to be with her so they can go out if they need to. I don't know, when I was in nursing school I helped with a birth and their 2 year old daughter slept on a little couch the whole time, but I am afraid that if dd were there it would freak her out...anyone give birth at a hospital with dc(s) there?
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#19 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 11:40 AM
 
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If all goes as planned, it will be DH and I, and the other girls if they're awake. Last time they slept through most of it, and woke up just in time to see the birth, and we were all in the same bed!

Since we're on #4 our extended family has pretty much figured out that they're not invited. With #1 my IL's were a bit offended that I asked them not to come until we were home from the hospital. With #'s 2 & 3 they didn't even ask. My mother wanted to be there for #3 since we had her at home, but I really don't feel comfortable with anyone but DH. She took it pretty well.

Keri, wife to Tony, mom to five DDs: M ('96), S('01), E('04), A('07) and J('10);
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#20 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 11:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow2911
No idea!
I was planning to have another uc with my dp there and possibly the kids if they are awake. But dp and I have just split up so everything is a bit up in the air.
Rainbow,
Hope everything works out for you!

Keri, wife to Tony, mom to five DDs: M ('96), S('01), E('04), A('07) and J('10);
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#21 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 12:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow2911
No idea!
I was planning to have another uc with my dp there and possibly the kids if they are awake. But dp and I have just split up so everything is a bit up in the air.
Hope I can come up with a good arrangement where someone can come in time to look after my kids in another room and the midwife is too late or something!
Ruth, I'm sorry for what you are going through right now.

Warm thoughts and wishes are with you and your family at this time. Please know if there is anything we can do for you.

Shelley, mother, wife, sister, aunt, friend.
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#22 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 01:28 PM
 
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My hubby (we're taking Bradley classes this fall) and my doctor who I love... and I am hoping for a good nurse again at the end like we had last time.
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#23 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 01:42 PM
 
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My midwife, her assitant, my husband and hopefully my daughter. Either my mom or MIL or my SIL (or all three) will be at the birth center for my dd if she doesn't want to be in the room while I'm pushing, but I would rather they not be in the room.

Mama of three.
 
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#24 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 01:51 PM
 
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It will be just Dh& Me..
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#25 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 01:52 PM
 
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If we are able to have a homebirth it will be my dh and 7 yr old daughter and midwife. I have had my mom at both my previous births and after the last one decided not to do it again. She was very helpful at times but a lot of things she did annoyed the crap out of me and I wonder if things would've gone a little faster without her here. She will probably be watching my little guy for me instead. If I end up at the hospital then I am hoping to find a doula to work for free (or super cheap) and I don't know if they allow children there or not, it's something I still need to check on.
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#26 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 02:49 PM
 
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My mother ( she was my main support last time) My best friend, and the MW with her apprentice. Dh get to come in when I'm pushing because last time he anouyed me and complained about being tired after a long.... 6 hours of labor

My SIL wants to come but scince I dont get along with SMIL ( who wants to be there only because she is evil in carnet LOL) and we would have to have SIL's DH ( SMIL's son) keep from telling his parents I dont want to add to any family drama. Sigh she is one of my best friends but I cant seem to find a way to make it work.

We are not telling people till ATLEAST 24 hours after the baby is born mabey even longer
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#27 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 03:28 PM
 
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My dh (he was great!), a labor nurse or 2, my OB, and that's it. We'll call everyone after the baby arrives (otherwise my MIL might show up in the middle of it all...). Maybe a doula - haven't decided on this one yet.
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#28 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 05:02 PM
 
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We are planning for our first homebirth & will have DH, DS, my mom, my doula, my m/w, maybe a friend & that should be it.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#29 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 07:19 PM
 
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Dh and my 2 ds' and my dd. The kids want to see it this time. My oldest was very upset he slept through dd's birth. I plan to be alone until pushing stage like last time then have them come in to watch. Maybe even videotape it this time. The kids are already asking a ton of questions so I think they will know all about labor and birth by the time s/he comes.

~Lanie mom to Layne, Liam, Maren, Meridian, and Melora
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#30 of 30 Old 08-11-2006, 07:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by p1gg1e
We are not telling people till ATLEAST 24 hours after the baby is born mabey even longer
This is something I've been thinking about. DD#3 was born very early in the morning, so after everyone was settled we made the round of phone calls to family and then we all went to bed (DH and I had been up most of the night). Unfortunately, my IL's decided to stop by on their way to work (they live about 15miles away) and when they knocked and we didn't answer (we were asleep) they panicked and thought we had rushed off the to hospital...something they had expected all along of course. DH woke up and let them in, and it was all very annoying, and I really don't want a repeat, but I'm not sure how to work it without offending them.

We may just not call anyone (say we needed to rest) or if we do call I will be explicit that we do not want visitors right away.

Keri, wife to Tony, mom to five DDs: M ('96), S('01), E('04), A('07) and J('10);
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