Just looking for a shoulder to cry on...living with my parents vent... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 01-02-2007, 06:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Living with my parents is becoming too hard. I mean REALLY too hard. We're butting heads over everything and it is driving me nuts that we have such different parenting styles. My dad has literally ruined Colin - he will give him anything and everything he wants and totally undermines me as a parent - saying crap to Colin like, "If she loved you she would give it to you." WHAT THE HECK? I DON'T give him junk to eat because I LOVE him. ARGHHH!!!! I just cannot take it anymore!!! I have worked too hard trying to be the best parent I can be to have my folks screw it all up...Colin is starting to have some serious behavior problems. When I say "no" he looks at me and goes, "I'll just go ask Nana/Pop-Pop." I could SCREAM!!!

The other day, I was cleaning in my sister's room - the one that Camden and I were going to sleep in after his arrival. (So as to not bother Les and Colin in the other room.) Well, Dad had a fit saying that we could NOT alter her room in any way...that she could need it at any moments notice and we'd just have to put everything back and sleep in the basement. My sister moved six hours away...she just started a new job and was just last week complaining that she wouldn't get to come home until she had worked her first year and accumulated enough vacation time. Dad's other reasoning for leaving her room "ready and waiting" on her? My sister's DOG. Yes, people, not only are we knocked down a notch on the totum pole by my parents' CAT (DH is severely allergic and they let the cat get all over DH's stuff), but my sister's DOG now outranks us. Dad told me that Toby needed the room too...???? Gosh, gotta love 'em.

When I talked with Mom about it, she was all defensive of my sister and yes, the dog. She told me they had to come first. Who cares about my newborn...let's just throw him in the cold, damp, basement to sleep during the freakin' dead of winter!!!

Mom them proceeded to throw up in my face all that they had done for us. I just love when they do that. Yes, they have given us a place to stay, and we are very thankful to them for that, but to have every minute detail thrown back at you??? I've busted my butt every minute that I'm here...they leave me lists of things to do during the day...I try my best to do everything, but nothing is EVER good enough. Have they forgotten that I have a 2 year old to watch and care for and I'm freakin' 8.5 months pregnant? That I've had PTL twice and hospitalized for it? I'm supposed to be on bedrest...

Here we go again. I'm back to being so frustrated and depressed. I've called all around today to find us an apartment. I'm desperate. I even lied to one lady and said we only had one child just so we could maybe have the cheaper rated one bedroom apartment. Of course, it would probably never work and we'd get caught...in NC you can only have 2 to a bedroom. No matter if the other 2 are babies.

This is just too hard. I'm back to just wanting to stop caring about everything and give the heck up.
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#2 of 6 Old 01-02-2007, 06:55 PM
 
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I am so sorry mama. This situation sounds awful....intolerable and totally depressing. What are they thinking????: I feel so bad that you are going through this right now....It almost sounds as though they are taking advantage of your dependency right now so that they can control you. Can you sit them down and tell them how much they are hurting your feelings and how that stress is disruptive and unhealthy to your baby? Or maybe, if they are defensive to begin with write them a letter expressing your feelings without attacking them? That way they can be more open to what your saying & reread it as many times as it takes to really get it. Maybe your sister can have a talk with them. I wish you luck on your apartment hunting...that must be so daunting right now, but it will be more than worth it in the long run...just to get out from under your parents negative ways. Just my 2 cents worth. BTW...I can tell you are a GREAT mama from your posts.. You'll get through this....just keep reminding yourself of the beautiful being you are growing and that this will pass.....
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#3 of 6 Old 01-02-2007, 07:07 PM
 
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i feel for you, i live with my parents also. it's too the point i would rather live in the streets. so i started thinking. i stay in the basement soooo, why not build a door to keep them out and make it feel like my own place. which they said okay too. (thank goodness) tonight the door goes up and i start making my own little appartment in the basement. i have an oil heater to keep it warm, lots of rugs to make it feel homey. and i set up a table with a mini fridge underneath, a griddle and microwave on top (hehe, my little kitchen). maybe this would be an idea for you. so far it's been quite nice, i feel free again. well, hope everything works out for you and good luck

Jarrod & Nataleigh Est. 2004
DD Jayde 2005
DS William 2007
DD Lilleigh 2008
DS Edward 2010
DS Mikah 2012
Due July 2013
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#4 of 6 Old 01-03-2007, 08:34 AM
 
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I'm being driven crazy living with my Mum too. I gets really hard being thankful for having a roof over our heads all the time. It's not that I'm not grateful and I do appreciate that it must be hard for her to have an invasion. But I am so sick of hearing about how horrible it is for her (from her and others) and listening to snide comments about how awful it is that I am pregnant. :
I am so looking forward to having a home! Fingers crossed I will be able to afford to rent somewhere in a couple of months time. We don't need furniture - right?!
I hope that things get easier for you really soon.

Ruth, mum to B (9), P (8) and T (5)

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#5 of 6 Old 01-03-2007, 08:44 AM
 
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I am so sorry you are going through this. It does sound like they are controlling you by your being dependant on them for housing. That sucks that they don't listen to your parenting choices at all, and now your little one goes to them when you say no. That has to be so frustrating. Hang in there. Hopefully in a few months you will have your own apt. and won't have to deal with that.
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#6 of 6 Old 01-03-2007, 09:56 AM
 
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I don't know what to say besides that sucks!! Here's a . I hope you are able to find a place soon.
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