I sure wish I could give you more reassuring advice, just that I know you will get through it and you'll do just fine... birth changes you so much but it's good!
MY last birth was terrifiying but even knowing that I was living a nightmare, I found peace from somewhere and let my body do what mother nature design it to do. Women have been doing this since the dawn of time. The more fear the more pain.
Labor is a beautiful thing.
You will feel power and such a connection with nature .
You are a women, a goddess and are experiencing something that will never be matched.
As far as the fear that something will go wrong...........I wont go into much detail about my birth experience it was all that could go wrong and I dont want to scare you, but have faith in yourself and your sweet little babe.
Trust your body & your mind. You'll be just fine mamma!!
A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.
but i do think fear can turn your birthing experiecne into something really painful though, so i do think it's worth your while to find some ways to cope with your fear... deep breathing, rescue remedy, energy tapping, hypnobabies, etc. have you read "birthing form within?" it might be worthwhile for you to read.
the more you can cope with the fear, the easier your birth will be, i believe.
time to remind yourself that you are a powerful woman who's body was made for birthing and that you can do this wonderful and joyous thing. there is no need for panic. of course you can do this, this is what you were born to to do.
"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Oliver
The problem with all the explanations you read is that labour is so different for each person and each pregnancy.
I think the most important thing to know is the different stages of labour -- early, active, transition and pushing, etc, so you have a basic idea of what the heck your body is doing and what the nurses/ doctors/midwives are talking about. Then at least you will understand what is going on and you can think, "Okay, now they're telling me I'm dialated 7 or 8 cm, so things will be getting really intense really soon as I go into transition". And be aware of your options and possible things that may happen, so that you will be informed if you do need to make a decision about inductions or interventions or surgery or medication, or if you find you do feel the need for medication in the moment.
I remember last time I did a one day all day birth prep class with a doula. I was so stressed because I didn't remember any of the breathing stuff she had taught, and the birth video really terrified me. But I found that when the time came, I knew enough about myself and how to relax and get into a good place mentally and emotionally to handle the birth, even without remembering any of the breathing / massage/ etc.
The best thing someone told me last time when I was really pregnant was just to take labour one contraction at a time, and not worry too much about the future -- just go with each contraction. The more you relax and go with it, the less you are fighting the process your body is going through and the easier things will hopefully go.
I find "Having A Baby, Naturally," to be a really soothing and reassuring book to read whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed. It helps me to acknowledge and process my fears without dismissing them or getting entrenched in them. Maybe it wouldn't help anyone else as much as it helps me, but I find myself going back to it constantly. It's just such a positive book.
You all would be proud of Paul, he is the most supportive, understanding husband ever. I know he's almost as scared as I am (though he won't be in any pain ) but he keeps telling me we're going to be fine and he's there with me and that I CAN DO IT.