Shower Anxiety - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 01-07-2007, 09:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh Goodness...today is the day and I am so nervous. I'm sure the "shower" will be fun....I just wish I could open the gifts at home with DH or a few friends instead of sitting, center of attention in a big group of women watching me as I open everything. It's such a strange tradition...at most of the showers I've been to, the guests are bored with the opening of gifts, yet horrified if the gifts aren't opened at the shower. There's no way to win. All will be over by tonight...and probably I will have had a great time....but I am feeling pretty anxious. My stepmom (whom I'm very close to) is hosting this shower. It's definately of a conventional and traditional nature. Next week my mom is having a blessingway ceremony for me with my more "spiritual" "fringe" community. It's funny...I'm not nervous for that one at all.... Probably b/c it's a ceremony thats emphasis is on celebrating the passage into motherhood rather than emphasizing the gifts. I'll keep you all posted as to the results. (btw, it's not that I'm not excited for the goodies..it's just embarressing opening so many gifts in front of people watching you)
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#2 of 9 Old 01-07-2007, 02:07 PM
 
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Yeah, but like anyone ever pays attention to you at your own shower anyway. I find the bigger the shower, the more you get ignored and the more everyone just chats amongst themselves, so don't worry about it too much. Just think of how much less stuff you'll have to buy and how happy everyone will have been to b e able to bless you with stuff.

Jill , mom to Andrew (09/04), Aaron(01/07), and Emma (11/09)
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#3 of 9 Old 01-07-2007, 10:31 PM
 
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I'm anxious about mine too, it's next saturday. I really wanted a small blessingway where we made a belly cast, everyone brought a bead for a bracelet and we sang songs and shared birth stories. My family just couldn't do this, so I will be having a full on fancy babyshower. It should be a lot of fun though, they have put a lot of effort into it and I plan on enjoying it. I am worried about gifts and stuff, like what do I do if someone gets me something that totally conflicts with my beliefs? What if I get several packages of bleached sposies or bottles or a copy of Baby Wise? THAT is what's scaring me about the gift opening part.

Sarah knit.gif married to Micah, mama to dd1 (9), dd2 (7) and ds (2). We love to homeschool.gif h20homebirth.gif goorganic.jpgchicken3.gif
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#4 of 9 Old 01-07-2007, 10:55 PM
 
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I got bottles and sposies at my showers with ds 1. But you never know when you might need a few sposies on a bad day, and you may need to pump and use bottles, too. I just smiled and thanked the people -- they didn't know me very well and were just being kind, after all.

Jill , mom to Andrew (09/04), Aaron(01/07), and Emma (11/09)
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#5 of 9 Old 01-08-2007, 12:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sarah_bella1050 View Post
What if I get several packages of bleached sposies or bottles or a copy of Baby Wise? THAT is what's scaring me about the gift opening part.
You do what my kind relatives who are possibly baffled by gifts I think are essential like baby slings - you smile graciously, thank the giver, move to the next gift. Then donate to a local shelter or freecycle what you really have no use for if it doesn't seem return/exchangable
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#6 of 9 Old 01-08-2007, 04:17 AM
 
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Hope it went well! I have always hated having all the attention on me to but I love going to showers! Hope you get lots of useful things!

~Lanie mom to Layne, Liam, Maren, Meridian, and Melora
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#7 of 9 Old 01-08-2007, 11:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sarah_bella1050 View Post
What if I get several packages of bleached sposies or bottles or a copy of Baby Wise? THAT is what's scaring me about the gift opening part.
LOL
I got a copy of Babywise at mine... I was told by my AP SIL that I handled it well, since that was obviously not the time to confront my dear misguided friend about Babywise. I opened it, and the friend said "it worked for us, just give it a read" and I said "babywise, okay...thanks!" and put it down and moved right on to the next gift. Those who know me best (mom, SIL, MIL, other AP friends) knew I was just being nice for the sake of the shower.
I threw the book out when I got home.

Mama to Charlotte (2/14/07) and Julian (11/27/10) both born at home.
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#8 of 9 Old 01-08-2007, 11:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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UPDATE!!! The shower was actually really great. Yummy food, homeade limey margaritas (I had my own virgin pitcher) and lots of beautiful flowers (I love flowers in the winter, the're such a rare luxury) I guess the invitations told people to bring books in lieu of cards. So, I got all of these wonderful baby books that everyone wrote personal notes in for the baby. I thought that was really neat. Also, my stepmom knew how nervous I was about opening all of those gifts in front of everone so she did this great thing. She handed out blank baby bingo cards and had everyone fill them out based on what they thought i would get as gifts, so as I opened each gift, if they had written it in their card they could cross it off. It took some pressure of me and it was fun for them to watch...... I got some great things (even a diaper shower from my mom !) and mostly just felt loved and celebrated...SO....the dread was all in vain. Still, it was alot of attention, I'm still recovering and I am glad it's over. Next Sunday my mom is having a blessingway for me...I'm excited for that. Gifts are only from the heart (poems, stories, etc)...so no unwrapping! She made me a beautiful belly cast that she mosaiced into a gorgeous picture of a woman breastfeeding her baby. She's giving it to me on Sunday so I'll update you mamas with a pic then. It's so beautiful!
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#9 of 9 Old 01-09-2007, 12:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by swtmama2be View Post
UPDATE!!! The shower was actually really great. Yummy food, homeade limey margaritas (I had my own virgin pitcher) and lots of beautiful flowers (I love flowers in the winter, the're such a rare luxury) I guess the invitations told people to bring books in lieu of cards. So, I got all of these wonderful baby books that everyone wrote personal notes in for the baby. I thought that was really neat. Also, my stepmom knew how nervous I was about opening all of those gifts in front of everone so she did this great thing. She handed out blank baby bingo cards and had everyone fill them out based on what they thought i would get as gifts, so as I opened each gift, if they had written it in their card they could cross it off. It took some pressure of me and it was fun for them to watch...... I got some great things (even a diaper shower from my mom !) and mostly just felt loved and celebrated...SO....the dread was all in vain. Still, it was alot of attention, I'm still recovering and I am glad it's over. Next Sunday my mom is having a blessingway for me...I'm excited for that. Gifts are only from the heart (poems, stories, etc)...so no unwrapping! She made me a beautiful belly cast that she mosaiced into a gorgeous picture of a woman breastfeeding her baby. She's giving it to me on Sunday so I'll update you mamas with a pic then. It's so beautiful!
I'm so glad it went well. I had similiar feelings before my shower (and now I have ANOTHER one tomorrow at work), but it went really well. A few polite, but heated comments over homebirth and cloth diapering, but nothing like I imagined. Just lots of love for me and the baby.

Mama to my beautiful Ana Carolina (2/07), Isabel Cristina (6/10), and #3 on the way in August 2013!

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