Who will take care of your other dc during labor? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 04:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Since we just moved out here to Vermont I don't really have many people who can watch dd. It is becoming a big stresser in my life right now. I have one friend/coworker from dh's work that said she could watch dd (and whom I trust). I've already decided to not head to the hospital until the very last moment, so that I can minimize the time she will be away from me and dh. Although, I'm not sure how realistic that is. I told dh that I will need him to go get her shortly after birth. He wasn't too thrilled about that.

The woman who I asked to watch dd is pregnant with her first, so I feel bad asking her to do it. She isn't due until late March, so hopefully it will work out. Another woman from dh's work just offered, but I didn't get along with her at all when we met. Neither of these woman seem to be into NFL and I am going to have to teach them how to use my diapers, what to feed dd, and I'm praying that they will not let her cry or sleep alone. Anyone else going through something similar? Thanks for letting me vent. :
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#2 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 05:12 PM
 
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i'm really lucky because my mom's coming. but if ds2 decides to make an appearance in the next month i'm having this baby solo -- dh will have to mind ds1. i have a good friend in paris who might be able to come up to mind ds but train times might not work out, her son might have something on, she might not be available...

i know it's hard in a new area. have you looked into LLL meetings in your town? i'm going to try to get to one here early next month.
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#3 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 05:26 PM
 
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I am having a homebirth so at least I don't have to worry about being somewhere the kids can't be but I am hoping I will labor at night like I usually do and we can just wake them for the birth. Otherwise dh will have his hands full keeping them quiet so I can concentrate. Guess I better start coming up with some music I can use to drown them out JIC. Time to start a new thread about that I guess!

~Lanie mom to Layne, Liam, Maren, Meridian, and Melora
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#4 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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I am having a homebirth, but my mom is coming over to help with DS if he doesn't want to participate.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#5 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 06:34 PM
 
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I second the PP's idea of LLL meetings for finding some like minded mommies, also post on the finding your tribe section of MDC. I have a list of friends that will take my son for my homebirth because he just wouldn't be okay here during. It just depends on the day and time who it will end up being. I have started talking to him a little bit about where the baby comes from and such just in case but I don't anticipate him having to be here since I have offers from at least 5 people so far!
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#6 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 07:03 PM
 
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We've been here for two years now, but it was a real stuggle trying to decide who to ask to care for our ds as well. He is really sensitive and easily upset, and the family he feels the most comfortable with is an hour's drive away, and they have a 5 yr old, a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old, so they can't just drive out here.

We decided to ask a family in our church who is also from out of town, and understands the whole lack of support system thing. I thought they would think about it for a while, but it took them two seconds to say yes. Then another woman called and said that because her dh is a farmer and he can stay at home until everyone is off to school now she could stay with ds during the night and then move him in the morning if need be. So that was a big releif.

I totally understand your anxiety, though. Its really hard when you don't know people as well as you would like and you have to rely on them to take care of your child. But it will only be for a short time, so I would go with your gut intuition with whose offer of help to accept.

I hope someone amazing turns up to help.

Jill , mom to Andrew (09/04), Aaron(01/07), and Emma (11/09)
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#7 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 07:39 PM
 
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We're having a homebirth as well. I'm hoping to labor in the night again but if not my oldest child can help out. Also, my parents live right down the street so they can help and I have a couple of close friends that I could call in if needed. I'm very blessed that way.

I hope things work out for you and that you are able to relax during labor.

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#8 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 08:33 PM
 
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This has been such a struggle for us, but our plan now is that if labor happens during the week daytime she will go to her preschool/daycare OR if things are progressing quickly she will come with us and I will call my friend to meet us at the hospital and play with her in the waiting room (I have a big bag packed just for her with things like playdough, bubbles, crayons, doll, snacks, water, etc just in case). If it is the middle of the night or late evening we will take her to some good friends house she loves them and their kids and I think will be okay there. Either way we are calling my parents on our way to the hospital and they will leave ASAP (they are two hours away) and pick up dd wherever she is and either take her to our house or bring her to us at the hospital.
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#9 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 08:38 PM
 
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DD will be with us...I will be birthing in the same hospital that I had dd in (very MW, Doula accepting) and she is allowed with us....
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#10 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 09:32 PM
 
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My IL's will be taking care of DS, but, they are leaving for Florida tomorrow (we are in MI) until the end of January! Apparently they are going to try to get back before the birth. I am kinda hoping, now, that I give birth in January just so MIL is in Florida for it! (I'm so EVIL!!) If that happens, my SIL/BIL will take care of Will. My SIL has already asked me to write down his favorite foods and what his normal daily routine is so that she knows what to feed him and when he naps, etc. MIL has NEVER ONCE asked me anything about that!!

MIL has caused a lot of grief in my life as you can tell!

I either hope I birth while she is in FL or that they come back thinking I will birth soon and then I don't birth for another few weeks! I'm SO bad... but she's crossed some pretty big boundaries and I haven't appreciated that...

My parents live 450 miles away - my mom MIGHT be here for the birth BUT she is pretty much useless (sorry Mom, I love ya, but you are) when it comes to taking care of DS. She's got some health problems and uses them as excuses for everything!

I have friends who will be back ups for the back up if need be, and honestly, I'd almost rather leave him with them rather than any of my IL's, but DH won't have that...
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#11 of 16 Old 01-09-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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My mom- she's on call to come pick DD up when I'm in labor. She lives a few miles away.

full time, single, slightly soggy WOHM to Juliet (12.31.2004 @ 36w5d) and Willow & Adam (2.22.2007 @ 39w5d, HBAC transfer) and... expecting my little womb warrior Eowyn Susanne in September
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#12 of 16 Old 01-10-2007, 07:29 PM
 
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if there's enough notice, ds will be going to dc. if something happens where she can't watch him, he'll be going to the hospital with us and dh will watch him while i labor: :

anne, mama to Isaak (6.13.05) Joe (2.24.07) and Eli (8.17.09) wifey to J since 2002 petparent to our retired racer "Under Rated" aka Jango.  help put an end to dog racing! 
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#13 of 16 Old 01-10-2007, 08:09 PM
 
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Unfortunately, my MIL
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#14 of 16 Old 01-10-2007, 08:51 PM
 
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One of the good things about living near family is that both my mom and MIL will be at the birth center. If I feel the need to kick them out, I will and call a friend who lives close by to come watch dd.

Good luck!

Mama of three.
 
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#15 of 16 Old 01-10-2007, 09:47 PM
 
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We're having a hb and will have my SIL and the midwife's apprentice there. So, I'm hoping to NOT have to use my MIL/FIL for the kids. We should have enough people there to take care of them if need be. They both at this point say they want to be here for the whole birth. And like Lanie said, I'm hoping I'll go at night like I did with the last so they won't even be up. And then we'd probably try to wake them right at the end or after baby's here.
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#16 of 16 Old 01-10-2007, 11:00 PM
 
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Homeschooling SAHM to 3 children under 5 + one on the way.
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