Anybody going to be handling the newborn phase alone? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 11 Old 01-16-2007, 03:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
sophmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: with a brush in my hand
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I won't be having my mom come stay with me this time as we are in a 1 bedroom apartment and there is no room for a 5th person to stay and my mom isn't much help with anything anyways.

My dh is working full time and in grad school and basically busy dawn to dusk every day with that. He's in his most stressful class of his degree and will basically fail the program if he misses 20 points in this class so - though he is trying to be helpful, I'm trying to take family responsibilities off him as I don't want him to have a nervous break down.

I'm thinking about inviting some friends to my birth just because I don't feel like my dh should have to come up with the extra emotional energy to be my main support ontop of how much stress he is under for the family already with his degree for his career.

I have a large family here, but ALL of my married sister in laws are pregnant (well - one just had her baby Friday). One is due the same week as me and 3 more are due this summer, so it's not like anyone is going to come and clean my bathroom for me or anything. They're all busy with their own!

I do have friends, who have families of their own. I'm sure they will do many things I will be very grateful for, but I'm not expecting a ton there.

So basically all domestic stuff, newborn and 3 year old, will be up to me. Anybody else in a similar boat? I'm sure some military wives with deployed husbands can relate.
sophmama is offline  
#2 of 11 Old 01-16-2007, 10:59 AM
 
mamabear&babybear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If this baby comes early I could be doing all by myself. My dh just finished grad school and is trying to get a postdoctoral fellowship started here in Vermont. He has a grant deadline Feb. 1st and won't be able to take time off if the baby comes around that time. I also, by choice, am not having any family come: they just aren't helpful. I wish my best friend from Oregon could come. : I have met a few women from MDC who have offered to bring meals. Anyway good luck, I hope things go smoothly for you. I know it can seem so overwhelming, but I'm sure you'll do great!!
mamabear&babybear is offline  
#3 of 11 Old 01-16-2007, 11:31 AM
 
timneh_mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Somewhere between awake and asleep
Posts: 4,981
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not going to be alone in the true sense of the word, DH works full time and often I don't see him for 12 hours a day. He is taking 2 weeks off work when the baby is born. His mother lives nearby but her version of "help" is not what I need (she hogs the baby while I go do whatever) and my family all lives far away. Even if they didn't, my mom is not that helpful either, she would watch DS so I could cook dinner or she would cook dinner or wipe out a bathroom sink, or that type of light stuff, and she was scheduled to be here at the end of Feb for a doctor's appointment. She may reschedule it though because she is worried about taking the bus here in the snow (we live in Michigan). My mom refuses to drive while she is here so she would never take DS out somewhere so I could sleep, etc.

So I'm not alone like I would be if DH were deployed or something like that, but I will have regular 12 hour days where I'm on my own... after the 2 weeks is up.
timneh_mom is offline  
#4 of 11 Old 01-16-2007, 11:35 AM
 
MoonWillow's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pemberly
Posts: 3,938
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is hiring a postpartum doula an option?
MoonWillow is offline  
#5 of 11 Old 01-16-2007, 12:08 PM
 
e123vg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Northern Minnesota
Posts: 587
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'll be handling this newborn alone, just like i handled my first dd alone. i really never seen a need to have someone watch a newborn or help me out since this stage in their life they sleep most of the time. although now that dd is 13m i do take full advantage when people want to help out. hehe.

Jarrod & Nataleigh Est. 2004
DD Jayde 2005
DS William 2007
DD Lilleigh 2008
DS Edward 2010
DS Mikah 2012
Due July 2013
e123vg is offline  
#6 of 11 Old 01-16-2007, 12:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
sophmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: with a brush in my hand
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MotherWren View Post
Is hiring a postpartum doula an option?
No $

Quote:
Originally Posted by e123vg View Post
i'll be handling this newborn alone, just like i handled my first dd alone. i really never seen a need to have someone watch a newborn or help me out since this stage in their life they sleep most of the time. although now that dd is 13m i do take full advantage when people want to help out. hehe.
I had a lot of nursing troubles with dd1's latch which I ended up needing some help with just having someone watch her while I slept occaisionally. With 2 kids, hopefully baby#2 won't be so hard with the nursing stuff. And hopefully birth will not leave me unable to walk much for a week like last time. Having a 3 year old to chase would not have been easy after last time. I think there are a lot of variables. It's not so much that the basic care, holding, diapering. It's everything else. And some newborns will actually sleep 2 hours at a time where as others want to to nurse every 30 minutes, which is ok if you only have one to look after.
sophmama is offline  
#7 of 11 Old 01-16-2007, 01:02 PM
 
MCKMN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 506
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I will be doing this all on my own, but then again I am terribly BABY SELFISH..I acutally look forward too walking the floors, and dirty diapers, and crying, and rocking till the wee hrs. It should be interesting though.. with a Toddler a preschooler and a pre teen in the house though.. i will be one busy bee and might I add, TIRED TOO
MCKMN is offline  
#8 of 11 Old 01-16-2007, 10:29 PM
 
ekblad9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Just a slingin'
Posts: 8,193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't know that I'll be completely on my own. There's usually a huge amount of help for two or three days. Then everyone moves on and I'm stuck doing the schooling, cleaning, carpooling, etc. Our homeschooling group did send a ton of meals last time which helped considerably. I'm really dreading it as my two year old is majorly clingy. I really don't know how I'll handle that situation. Other than that I know the older kids will help me. They're awesome about that.

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

ekblad9 is offline  
#9 of 11 Old 01-16-2007, 10:39 PM
 
mom2mimi's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In a zoo!!
Posts: 666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
After about the first week or so I will be alone like I usually am. Hubby is a chef and works from 9 am until at least 10 most nights. He is taking the first week off which will be really nice, last time he only got two days!!! And I told my mom she could come for a couple of days AFTER he goes back to work as long as she cooks me whatever I want! Oh and yesterday my dddddddh fed our freezer with 2 lasagnas, 6 spaghetti dinners, and 8 enchilada dinners! I'm mostly only worried about the bedtime issues I am now having with my 2 year old continuing when babe gets here, other than that they (newborns) aren't too difficult...they mostly just sleep!
mom2mimi is offline  
#10 of 11 Old 01-17-2007, 12:00 AM
 
Gray's Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 3,863
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My mom is helping us out the first week since DH has to be at work right away (only taking a few days off). I really need him in May when I have to finish out my teaching contract. It sucks, but I was on my own after 3 days with our first, so I know I can do it.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

Gray's Mommy is offline  
#11 of 11 Old 01-17-2007, 02:26 AM
 
lanielayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: in a beautiful Montana valley
Posts: 2,064
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am in the same boat. Dh works 2 jobs and only has one day off a week. No family or friends to help so we will just be winging it. I expect to not be doing a whole lot around here except trying to keep the kids occupied and hopefully making easy dinners!

~Lanie mom to Layne, Liam, Maren, Meridian, and Melora
lanielayne is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off