Adjusting to motherhood - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-13-2007, 08:22 PM - Thread Starter
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Hello mamas.... My son is a week old today and I don't think that I have slept more than 12 hrs total since I went into labor I knew that having a baby would be a dramatic lifestyle change but I am having a little more of a difficult time than I had expected. I am tired pretty much all day and I try to take naps when baby sleeps but It never seems to work out that way because of one thing or the other. I have been in the house for a week straight except for a 2am trip to walmart to get a breastpump because my nipples were so sore and bleeding that I couldnt nurse him without excrutiating pain... I hardly have time to take care of my own needs and havent gotten to take a shower in a couple days....My house is totally trashed most of the time now and I am getting a little stir crazy. I havent really brought the baby out of the house yet to see the family because the one time I brought him out he had a bad one and wanted to be home... Everyone keeps giving me a hard time as to when i am going to bring him to visit... Ugh..... I also have a doctors apt. for him in the early morning to which I am going to have to have to be really pushy with them as to why I don't want to vaccinate. I know all this sounds like I am having a hard time but I feel like I am doing pretty good for the most part... I am so happy to have my baby but It's hard, I know that It will get easier... everyone says that the first 6 weeks are the hardest... Anyone else experiencing this or have any advice for a new mama? Thanks.


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#2 of 7 Old 02-13-2007, 09:32 PM
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Big hugs to you! Don't let the dr's push your around! You are the parent, just remember that. For your child's whole life there are going to be people that think they know better than you do but it's YOUR child, not their's! Remember that!

As for you - it is hard. Those first couple of weeks, esp with your first or second child, is a very difficult adjustment. Try to be gentle with yourself. Who cares about the house? Don't worry about it. Can your dh hold the baby while you catch a quick shower? A shower can be a lifesaver. Or just take baby in with you. Get a water sling and go for it (or just hold baby in arms). I have done lots of showering with babies in arms. It's better than nothing. Get some lansinoh or nipple butter ( made by Earth mama angel baby it will be better in the long run for your nursing relationship. I know it hurts. I hurt EVERY time no matter what I do. I have to bite a wash rag for those first couple of weeks. The nipple butter did help alot last time, though.

Don't let anything come up. Just nap when you can and forget the people that want to visit/want you to visit them. There will be plenty of time for that.

Good luck!!!
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#3 of 7 Old 02-13-2007, 09:33 PM
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I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I was right where you are when my 1st was born. I know it is hard but this too shall pass. Babies grow and become independent little ones before you can blink an eye.

As far as advice is concerned, do you have a friend/family/partner who could take your babe long enough for you to get a shower? Even if you put him in a bouncy seat or even his car seat in the bathroom with you it could help. I found that getting a shower was what would really make or break my day.

Don't worry about your house. You have a 1 week old. It is OK to cut yourself some slack. You also need to take time to let your body heal from pregnancy and childbirth.

I found that when I was going stir crazy I needed to go out for a short walk or to my Mom's house. It was still "safe". Your son is only a week old and does not need to be visiting everyone. If they really want to see him, they can come to you and maybe do a chore or two at your house while they are there. Most people are happy to help, they just don't know what to do. Just ask them!

Try to eat well and drink enough water. You are also hormonally adjusting to not being pregnant and lactating. This is the hardest for me but it does get easier.

Focus on getting through the next 6 weeks one day at a time. If you need help ask and hang in there. If you feel you are getting especially sad/anxious all the time or have any thoughts of harming your baby that you would act on, call your care provider. Baby blues and PPD are more common than most people realize and can vary in severity.

Hang in there. Nursing will get easier and it is one of the best gifts you can give to your babe.

Remember- this too shall pass and in not too long from now it will be memory as you watch your son toddle around...

I will be thinking of you and congratulations!
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#4 of 7 Old 02-13-2007, 09:35 PM
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Oh mama

The few things I can think of that might help would be...try not to worry about the condition of your house, and all the people that want you to come and visit them, have them come visit you and ask for some help- maybe they could load the dishwasher, wash a load of clothing, bring a meal or even just hold baby so you could get a shower, it's amazing how a shower can make you feel like a million bucks when you haven't had one in a bit.

I would also encourage you to contact a lactation consultant or someone who can help to make sure baby's latch is ok. Some pain is normal for some mamas, but you shouldn't be in such excruciating pain. If you're not already try some lanisoh for your nipples, it will keep them moist and hopefully stop some of the cracking/bleeding.

As for the Dr's appointment and the vax issue, don't get too stressed about it. If you feel you're going to get a battle and aren't up for it right now, just say you're still researching the issue and will not be getting any until you make your decision. They might try to say oh you need this and that...blah blah just listen, but stand firm that you will not be getting any until YOU make the decision. Of course if you're ready for the battle just say you're not vaxing and you're fully informed and comfortable with your decision and it's not up for discussion. What is your state's stand on non-vaxing, having a copy of your states requirements with you might help you stand your ground.

Mama you're doing great...don't let these things get you down- things will get better, and it's all worth it it just takes time to get into a routine.

ETA: Great advice took me forever to type out my post my 2.5 year old was battling me
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#5 of 7 Old 02-13-2007, 09:47 PM
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About the dr. appt. The only shot your son is "scheduled" to receive by them is the HepB so hopefully the pressure will not be too heavy this visit. Remember you are the consumer and you hired the doc and the chice is yours. You may have to really stand your ground or the doc won't really care. When the ped we used to see wanted to give my DD her hep B in the hospital, I told him that she would not be having sex or doing drugs for a while so we could skip it at that time. It seemed to work. Good luck!
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#6 of 7 Old 02-13-2007, 10:37 PM
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Being a new mommy IS hard!! It is! I think most of us, when we first became moms, had a hard time with at least something!

Others have given you so many good suggestions. If the house is dirty, let it be dirty. The mess will still be there when you've gotten some sleep and had a chance to recover from the birth. If people want to see the baby, they can come to you. They should not expect you to come to them, they can come see you, messy house and all. And if they want to be helpful, they can throw a load of clothes in the washer or do a load of dishes, or even make you a meal. They should not expect a thing from you at this point! Nothing! A visitor can even hold your kiddo while you take a quick shower. It's very, very important to give your body the time it needs to heal.

About breastfeeding, please get yourself some help! Please call a lactation consultant, or a La Leche League leader. I can help you find a LLL leader if you don't know where to find one in your area. Some of them will even come to your house for free, and help over the phone is free. Just send me a PM with your city/state and I'll look it up for you!

There is a HUGE adjustment period when you have your first baby, and I imagine there is for the second one as well. (I will find out soon I hope!) And please keep posting here too if it helps, lots of us have been there, done that and we are in it with you!!
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#7 of 7 Old 02-13-2007, 10:57 PM
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Oh my gosh, how sad that you are having a hard time of it! I think the babymoon time is one of the nicest things about having a baby! My advice: gather all the diaper things, a big jug of water to refill your cup with, and an assortment of food in a basket (nuts, fruits, crackers and cheese, etc), a good book...then put them all within reaching distance of the bed and GET IN BED!! Only get up to pee for at least another week! Somebody loves you enough to do all the dishes and laundry while you complete your babymoon- a husband? mother? friend? This time will NEVER come again, and can be so beautiful if we let ourselves just rest, read, eat, and stare at our babies until we are madly in love! good luck mama!

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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