As for you - it is hard. Those first couple of weeks, esp with your first or second child, is a very difficult adjustment. Try to be gentle with yourself. Who cares about the house? Don't worry about it. Can your dh hold the baby while you catch a quick shower? A shower can be a lifesaver. Or just take baby in with you. Get a water sling and go for it (or just hold baby in arms). I have done lots of showering with babies in arms. It's better than nothing. Get some lansinoh or nipple butter ( made by Earth mama angel baby www.naturalbabies.com) it will be better in the long run for your nursing relationship. I know it hurts. I hurt EVERY time no matter what I do. I have to bite a wash rag for those first couple of weeks. The nipple butter did help alot last time, though.
Don't let anything come up. Just nap when you can and forget the people that want to visit/want you to visit them. There will be plenty of time for that.
Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven. PROUD to be a Catholic! :
As far as advice is concerned, do you have a friend/family/partner who could take your babe long enough for you to get a shower? Even if you put him in a bouncy seat or even his car seat in the bathroom with you it could help. I found that getting a shower was what would really make or break my day.
Don't worry about your house. You have a 1 week old. It is OK to cut yourself some slack. You also need to take time to let your body heal from pregnancy and childbirth.
I found that when I was going stir crazy I needed to go out for a short walk or to my Mom's house. It was still "safe". Your son is only a week old and does not need to be visiting everyone. If they really want to see him, they can come to you and maybe do a chore or two at your house while they are there. Most people are happy to help, they just don't know what to do. Just ask them!
Try to eat well and drink enough water. You are also hormonally adjusting to not being pregnant and lactating. This is the hardest for me but it does get easier.
Focus on getting through the next 6 weeks one day at a time. If you need help ask and hang in there. If you feel you are getting especially sad/anxious all the time or have any thoughts of harming your baby that you would act on, call your care provider. Baby blues and PPD are more common than most people realize and can vary in severity.
Hang in there. Nursing will get easier and it is one of the best gifts you can give to your babe.
Remember- this too shall pass and in not too long from now it will be memory as you watch your son toddle around...
I will be thinking of you and congratulations!
The few things I can think of that might help would be...try not to worry about the condition of your house, and all the people that want you to come and visit them, have them come visit you and ask for some help- maybe they could load the dishwasher, wash a load of clothing, bring a meal or even just hold baby so you could get a shower, it's amazing how a shower can make you feel like a million bucks when you haven't had one in a bit.
I would also encourage you to contact a lactation consultant or someone who can help to make sure baby's latch is ok. Some pain is normal for some mamas, but you shouldn't be in such excruciating pain. If you're not already try some lanisoh for your nipples, it will keep them moist and hopefully stop some of the cracking/bleeding.
As for the Dr's appointment and the vax issue, don't get too stressed about it. If you feel you're going to get a battle and aren't up for it right now, just say you're still researching the issue and will not be getting any until you make your decision. They might try to say oh you need this and that...blah blah just listen, but stand firm that you will not be getting any until YOU make the decision. Of course if you're ready for the battle just say you're not vaxing and you're fully informed and comfortable with your decision and it's not up for discussion. What is your state's stand on non-vaxing, having a copy of your states requirements with you might help you stand your ground.
Mama you're doing great...don't let these things get you down- things will get better, and it's all worth it it just takes time to get into a routine.
ETA: Great advice above...it took me forever to type out my post my 2.5 year old was battling me
Others have given you so many good suggestions. If the house is dirty, let it be dirty. The mess will still be there when you've gotten some sleep and had a chance to recover from the birth. If people want to see the baby, they can come to you. They should not expect you to come to them, they can come see you, messy house and all. And if they want to be helpful, they can throw a load of clothes in the washer or do a load of dishes, or even make you a meal. They should not expect a thing from you at this point! Nothing! A visitor can even hold your kiddo while you take a quick shower. It's very, very important to give your body the time it needs to heal.
About breastfeeding, please get yourself some help! Please call a lactation consultant, or a La Leche League leader. I can help you find a LLL leader if you don't know where to find one in your area. Some of them will even come to your house for free, and help over the phone is free. Just send me a PM with your city/state and I'll look it up for you!
There is a HUGE adjustment period when you have your first baby, and I imagine there is for the second one as well. (I will find out soon I hope!) And please keep posting here too if it helps, lots of us have been there, done that and we are in it with you!!
JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to
Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!