36 weeks pregnant. I HATE BREASTFEEDING MY TODDLER - help! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 02-28-2009, 03:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so bummed right now, because I am barely surviving the breastfeeding relationship right now. I don't even call it a relationship, it's more of a constant battle with my 26 month old. I worked so hard through so many obstacles to get to this point, because I really did not want my DD to be weaned during this pregnancy. I want her to continue to enjoy the benefits of breastmilk well into preschool years as my ODD did, she deserves it.

But OMG. I'm losing my mind. I can't stand breastfeeding her anymore. I find myself limiting nursing sessions. My skin literally crawls from the moment she latches on and I feel hostile towards her as she drinks.

I think it's related to the colostrum coming in. She seems to be kind of nibbling at me when she swallows. For most of the pregnancy she hasn't had any milk to swallow, and (this is pure speculation), I'm wondering if maybe she has forgotten how to suck, swallow and breathe in a smooth motion and that's what is bothering me?

Babe is due in 3.5 weeks, so I'm loath to wean - we've come this far, and frankly I think it would do more harm than good. But I am haaaaaaaaaating breastfeeding. Hate it. Want to scream every time she nurses. Surely that cannot be a good thing.

Any thoughts? I'd even appreciate a BDTD, it'll get better at this point!
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#2 of 10 Old 02-28-2009, 03:14 AM
 
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Limit as you need to. IME right around that time was really bad. SOOO much better once baby came and there was MILK.

-Angela
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#3 of 10 Old 02-28-2009, 03:25 AM
 
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hang in there (if you want to), it really does get so much better after the babe is born, and in my case I really think it helped my toddler with the whole transition. I really was happy that he still nursed once the pregancy part was over. (helped me with engorgement too, when the baby would be asleep but my breasts hurt I could have him nurse and help relieve the pressure!)

I used to bite the inside of my mouth so it would hurt just to take my mind off the nursing, and sometimes I would have to cut him short and ask him to please stop. Not saying this is what you should do, it's just what I did to cope!

You've done an amazing job making it this far, I think stopping completely so close to the birth would be really hard for your daughter to understand, I hope you can make it through without going completely nuts!

big hugs, you are NOT alone!

6/9/2005 6/30/2007 10/17/2009 (Ebstein's Anomaly)
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#4 of 10 Old 03-02-2009, 04:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I really needed assurances that it's going to get better. I really, really do not want to wean DD, she's so cute, she tells me which bubby is for her, and which is going to be for the baby, and she tells me she will share nicely with baby. I'm really looking forward to natural relief of engorgement as well, and maybe losing weight a little quicker by nursing two kiddos

Thanks so much for the support, it felt really good to read about your experiences. I promise I won't wean my poor toddler, after all, baby is due in 23 days, how bad can it possibly get, right?
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#5 of 10 Old 03-02-2009, 06:03 PM
 
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I know exactly how you feel...! I'm five months along and no milk but still a nursing toddler. He just nurses at night and naps now, but it hurts!!! I've been crawling the forums looking for advice (do I wean? should I tandem nurse?) and I send you a hug!

I suspect if you limit access for a few weeks, you can probably increase access after birth. I don't think my toddler would forget the Joy of Boob quickly.
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#6 of 10 Old 03-02-2009, 11:33 PM
 
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Ouch! I remember that part so vividly after nursing through pregnancy and tandem nursing. What worked for me is to only let him latch for a couple seconds and stop on demand for that last month. I also emphasized- "open wide", bc sometimes toddlers get lazy latch. Also, there were moments even days where it just hurt too much to even do the latch for a second thing, and I explained that gently to him and he was understanding.

I hope so much that you find a balance that is right for you both right now.

If it reassures you at all, I have know many moms through my a support group who for moms who nursed during pregnancy whose child stopped nursing during preganancy and resumed right after their younger sibling was born. Not so much a weaning, but a nursing pause. It is amazing how they can quickly remember how especially with abundant milk and a baby to watch.

Good luck, Mama!

Margot joy.gif- lovin' life with DH and my 3 little loves
Thrilled to be pregnant with baby#4, but being cautiously optimistic since I have had 3 miscarriages.
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#7 of 10 Old 03-03-2009, 10:22 PM
 
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i'm 28 weeks along, and i totally noticed a difference when the colostrum came. it was like DD is getting just enough liquid to distract her from her comfort sucking rhythm.

i hope i make it as long as you. you're a super hero
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#8 of 10 Old 03-03-2009, 10:27 PM
 
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I remember what torture it was during that last couple of months. It really should get better when baby is born. Be gentle with yourself and limit nursing if you need to, your DD will be OK.
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#9 of 10 Old 03-03-2009, 10:28 PM
 
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DD was 2 yrs 9 months when DS was born, and we had nursed thru pregnancy. It was really really hard. And honestly, in my opinion, and in my particular situation, tandem nursing was worse. I nursed her on demand before DS was born (but night-weaned while pg), but after he was born I could not tolerate it AT ALL. I told her morning, nap and night and that was it. And still, she screamed and whined for it constantly. After a week of sticking to the rule, things got SO MUCH better. Before too long, she had giving up her nap, and her daddy started putting her to sleep at night. Eventually she forgot to ask to nurse in the AM, and she weaned at 3yrs 4 months or so.

It is tough tough tough. I'm sorry if this is a downer, but I wish someone had told me how HARD tandem nursing could be. If you are really committed to it, I know you can make it work for your family, but it didn't work for mine, and although we are not having more kids, I wouldn't do it again.

Hang in there, nursing through pregnancy is hard work for sure!
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#10 of 10 Old 03-04-2009, 02:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ani'smommy View Post
DD was 2 yrs 9 months when DS was born, and we had nursed thru pregnancy. It was really really hard. And honestly, in my opinion, and in my particular situation, tandem nursing was worse. I nursed her on demand before DS was born (but night-weaned while pg), but after he was born I could not tolerate it AT ALL. I told her morning, nap and night and that was it. And still, she screamed and whined for it constantly. After a week of sticking to the rule, things got SO MUCH better. Before too long, she had giving up her nap, and her daddy started putting her to sleep at night. Eventually she forgot to ask to nurse in the AM, and she weaned at 3yrs 4 months or so.

It is tough tough tough. I'm sorry if this is a downer, but I wish someone had told me how HARD tandem nursing could be. If you are really committed to it, I know you can make it work for your family, but it didn't work for mine, and although we are not having more kids, I wouldn't do it again.

Hang in there, nursing through pregnancy is hard work for sure!

I really really really appreciate your honesty...I think too often we set ourselves up by only reading the good experiences. I am trying to be very realistic and prepared for any outcome. I have a feeling DD will be a nursing fiend when the milk comes back - she was all about nursing before I got pregnant. At least she's night weaned now, that's been lovely.
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