Some of our problem is that both the TT and the bottle usage have trained him not to open his mouth wide AND I have larger than average nipples so it's really hard right now. Dh is going to buy me an SNS today. I'm just dreading it so much because I used it briefly with my last baby and it was such a nightmare.
I really hate all of this. And I'm angry that it took so long to figure this out. Four professionals all said he was just fine and dandy, nursing great, no problems, blah, blah, blah... and it took a group of strangers on a message board to point me in the right direction. I've solved so many other health issues with me and my children and I'm just tired of going it alone. I don't even know what LC to call who can help me.
We had the bottle issue too AND my nipples are really large and while not truly flat are flatter than normal (plus I'm a G cup, great combo...). So perhaps the nipple shield would help you. It was really the only way DS would latch on for me, so it was definitely one of my miracle fixes. Nipple sheild + tongue tie fix was HUGE for us.
Good luck! I really hope you get resolution soon. I wish it didn't have to be so difficult.
Whatever you do, don't give up. You can do this! Its taken my DS 4 weeks to start nursing better. I still have flat nipples at times, his tongue still clicks a bit and his suck is still disorganized. Remember, he's been using his tongue like that since way before he was born, it's going to take time for those muscles to retrain.
I plan to gather some info and good websites for my midwives who missed DS's TT. The only reason we caught it is b/c I transferred to the hospital after our HB and the LCs there had very recently had some education around all types of TT. I think it's appropriate for you to print out info on it for the CST and LC you are/were working with. You have every right to be angry it was missed but you also now have the power to educate and prevent them from missing another baby's posterior TT.
You are in my thoughts; sending good nursing juju your way.