I'm probably not using enough of either, or doing it frequently enough. My last pumping session was a week ago today (my preemie passed away a week ago yesterday, and I had thought about continuing to pump and finding an ongoing donor/recipient relationship for my milk, but I just wasn't emotionally able to handle that, so I did a one-time donation to a mama yesterday).
I had quite a high supply with both of my other kids, and avoided cabbage leaves especially since I'd heard that they work SO WELL that it would be too easy to pass right over the "I need to reduce my supply a tiny bit" to "oops now I'm completely dry" situation. I've used the cabbage leaves twice now, and drank several cups of sage tea over the past few days, and I am still quite full today.
I'm not full to the point of being bowling-ball engorged, but full enough so that if a stray elbow or head or knee or whatever bumps me, then it hurts. And I still leak sometimes. Just a drop here and there, but it still happens.
Why isn't the sage and cabbage working very fast for me? Is there anything else I can do? Someone sent me several boxes of "no more milk" tea and I've been drinking that, too, but all it seems to have done is taste good.
I am so sorry that your baby passed away.
I haven't been in that awful situation, but I have a friend who has. She pumped for a little while and then knew she needed to stop lactating. Her doctor told her to take pseudoephedrine. She had to get it from the pharmacist (behind the counter but not prescription.) She took the dose recommended for a sinus infection for a couple of days, then dropped to only 1/2 the dose, then 1/4 then stopped. She only pumped for comfort. It took less than a week for her milk to dry up completely.