Tandem Nursing or Not??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 05-25-2012, 08:44 PM - Thread Starter
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Hello mamas

I was wondering if anyone had experience with tandem nursing or how to avoid it. I am currently 37 weeks pregnant and while I always thought I would go for the tandem nursing I now feel like I might not be up for it. My daughter is 2;4 years old and has weaned herself to maybe one short suckling per day - sometimes she doesn't ask for it. I stopped having milk very early in pregnancy and I don't think I have colostrum yet. We don't have any family close by and won't have much help so I after the first couple of weeks where my Mom flies in from Germany and so I am thinking I might not be able to tandem nurse just strength and energy wise and I shouldn't even start with it. Does anyone have opinions or experiences with this? How would I tell her that she can't nurse but her brother? She is pretty reasonable and very advanced in speech so talking helps her a lot but she was a very strong nursling and still enjoys her comfort suckling when she does it.


Thanks so much and please feel free to move the post. I didn't know where it would fit in best...


Mom to Olivia Marlene, raising bilingual: German & English 
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#2 of 4 Old 05-26-2012, 06:43 AM
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I'm no help on how to avoid it. I will say DS1 was still nursing when I had DS2 and he adjusted too the new baby much better than DS2 (not nursing) adjusted to DD. DS1 nursed a lot more often street DS2 wad born, but, to me it was easier to deal with him by offering the boob than other methods. That said I just loved tandem nursing and I knower its not for everyone though.
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#3 of 4 Old 05-27-2012, 07:15 PM
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My daughter was 20 months old when my second was born. I had lost my milk at 23 weeks and she just continued to nurse as usual, until my milk came in again near the end. I WISH I had night weaned her when I had no milk. Once the baby was born it was just too hard for me to imagine (her crying, making him cry etc) so I am still nursing them both all day and all night.


I do love it... but imagining only one waking through the night seems like a dream.


It seems to me that making a choice now and implementing whatever you decide would be the kindest, so she doesn't associate it to the baby taking away her milk. At least now she would have a few weeks. I'm not sure how you would explain it.


Maybe you could just let her know she can continue to nurse once a day as she is now?


Just to share like the second poster did.. I find tandem nursing amazing for quiet time. I can get them both nursing and read a book off to one side. And often in the day they both cuddle with me and nurse on the sofa. For my now 2 year 5 month old nursing is still such a significant comfort for her. It's cute.. if she sees someone hurt she tells them they need milk.

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#4 of 4 Old 05-27-2012, 08:22 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks so much for your thoughts. It sounds like a good idea to maybe just continue the one nursing like we do now if she wouldn't get hooked for more. I had just talked to a Mom who did tandem nurse and said her toddler nursed like baby again once she had milk again. And she said it was hard with the engorgement but also the flow of milk was to fast or hard for the newborn. That kind of got me worried about how I would handle it. I don't know I feel like I am so focused on birth right now that it seems hard to make this kind of decision. My heart thinks it would be gentler for her to latch on as well as she had always loved nursing and still says it when she sees my breasts that suckling there she likes the best.

Mom to Olivia Marlene, raising bilingual: German & English 
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