Well it sounds like you're trying really hard It sure can be exhausting, pumping, bottle feeding, trying to nurse especially when they are feeding that often, haven't got much advice but just wanted to say your great for persevering!
Does it make a difference if you pump a bit of milk of first so that your breasts aren't as full? Is your letdown maybe to fast for him.
Congratulations with your precious little one!
GO Vegan~ Wow your story sounds so much like mine You can read the whole story if you want in the exclusive pumpers tribe. I don't have any excellent advice for you. I've tried everything too! I think our LOs have VERY similar personalities because your description is my baby to a T. And, it's interesting how we both work with moms and babies-- doesn't that make it even more horrible?! It has for me. I'm a lactation counselor and I was so looking forward to nursing!!!!!! I've really struggled with depression since. My LO is now 3 months old :-( we are not any closer unfortunately. Lets keep in touch on here and support each other okay? I hope for your sake that you LO latches because as you know the pumping and feeding is just awful.
I was a birth and postpartum doula before having kids...we had a lot of problems breastfeeding. Go figure! (Great homebirth though)
I know you've heard of flow confusion. Maybe he needs a little breastmilk to through an SNS to get him going? My DS was very patient and would wait for my milk to let down, despite using bottles. But I think he was just a very patient breast-feeder (not so much a patient toddler!).
I just wanted to bring up, before assuming it's all personality, could there by ANYTHING causing him pain? I don't know what it would be but could he have thrush or does he bf'ed better on one side? Could you try some chiropractic or cranio-sacral therapy? That's just the only other thing I can think of - is that he's in pain instead of just a lazy nurser.
Yes, for a long time, I could only handle attempting to nurse once a day. I was afraid we'd never get to full-time nursing with a start like that but we did! Hang in there! Take the "trying" at your own pace.
I had this issue. Baby was in the nicu for the first 5 days so I pumped for the first four weeks. For his sleep nursing I started putting him on the boob because he was less likely to get frustrated. I also used a shield a bunch. IT WAS A LOT OF WORK. AND Tears on my part, and his part. It took me probably a month of a lot of work. On the boob off the boob. Taking the pacifier away helped. I wish I never gave him one because i feel like this was a hurdle for us. Good luck mama. I also had to try every position under the sun. My bf also helped me a bunch, Sometimes his calmness helped us because baby and me were frustrated.
I just took it away. He didn't really need it the more he nursed on the boob the more he would spit out the pacifier. But my sons personality is not to comfort nurse at all even now. If i offer the boob and he is not hungry watch out because it is meltdown city. He very much associates boobs with food and me holding him as comfort. i think because his favorite position to nurse is laying down so i'm not holding him.
If he needs it let him have it. I would try a shield though to help him transition. Sometimes the shield I would use just enough to get the milk going and then I would take it off when he pulled away.
Breastfeeding is not easy. The first 6 weeks were so hard. BUT now its so worth it. I look back confused as to what was so hard. Thank god for my baby journal to remind me.
The biggest thing for me was getting him on the boob when he was too tired to fight me. Or totally asleep anyway. This really helped get him used to it.
Also my dbf literally would step in and finagle the baby onto the boob. I don't know if he had a better angle or what but sometimes that other eye is nice to kind of give your brain a break and let someone else try to fit the puzzle pieces together.
Your baby will get it and be such a pro it will be shocking. I remember once my son nursed for an hour straight. I was so excited I couldn't take him off. Then he projectile vomited everywhere. I felt so bad for over feeding him.