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Nadine8 09-14-2012 05:36 AM

Hello all,

I am having difficulties putting my son in daycare.  He's 16 months old and has been sleeping at my breast since born.  Last week I attempted to go back to work and thought I had found a great home daycare.  He cried and cried when the owner tried to put him down for a nap which ended up making the other children wake up and missing their naps.  So she told us it wouldn't work out and now I am left with having to extend my mat leave (again) and unsure of what to do next.  We have thought of him missing his nap but that just makes him grumpy and extremely tired the next day.  Unfortunately we need two incomes to support us or I would love to stay at home with him.  We have tried a few things to try to help him sleep on his own (from Elizabeth Pantley's and Dr. Sears books).  The only thing we have not tried is to let him CIO.  That's not our parenting style and I don't think it would work in the end.  He not only cries, but also kicks and stands up in his crib.

Has anyone ever dealt with this?  Would it be easier to wait till he's 2 to put him in daycare?

Thanks for reading.

P.J. 09-14-2012 05:50 AM

Oooh this thing exactly happened to us! DS started daycare at 11 months. Luckily our daycare provider (also small in-home daycare with three other kids) was very flexible and willing to find solutions. She would get the other kids down and then take DS into the other room and read stories, which sometimes worked and sometimes not. She would also put him in the stroller and walk him around till he fell asleep, which worked more often so he just slept in the stroller outside in her garden. Your provider could also try wearing him on her and walking around, if she's willing.
It did work for awhile but then winter came and it was more difficult for her to always bundle him back into the stroller and such, so we decided to have him there 1/2 days, so I would pick him up after they ate lunch just before naptime (1:00) and he would sleep at home. Could you possibly work part-time mornings only and pick him up after lunch so he sleeps with you? We did that for maybe 2-3 months (until he was around 18 months, I really can't remember the exact timetable of this story)  and then one week we just decided to give it another whirl and lo and behold it worked and he was able to fall asleep with the other kids!!!! I was absolutely amazed and astonished, I really did not think it would work and DH actually was the one to persuade me to try again. But it worked. I guess he was just somehow old enough, or ready, or maybe his brain developed enough that he could more logically understand things or wanted more to be with the other kids. I have no idea. He still nurses to sleep with me (he;s 27mo now) but DH still has a hard time getting him down.....however it works just fine at daycare.


I wish you luck, I hope you can find a solution, but if nothing else take heart from my story: this situation can change spontaneously on its own if you have a daycare provider willing and flexible enough to find solutions with you. I hope you can find a way until then, or another provider, or work part-time, until it works out.


Best of luck!

Nadine8 09-15-2012 11:19 AM

Thank-you so much for your response! We have yet to find the right care provider yet but when we do these tips will be useful. Also glad to know I'm not the only one going through this!

P.J. 09-18-2012 01:19 AM

You're welcome! One of the greatest values of MDC forums is knowing we are not alone!


BTW you may get more responses if you post this in the working parents forum as most of those mamas have experience with daycare.

Quinalla 09-25-2012 07:50 AM

My DD hated naps/sleep, so it took our daycare awhile to get her to nap as with me she usually fell asleep at the breast on my lap. They tried all sorts of things and mostly they just tried to hold her a lot until she adjusted. It took time and patience on their part, but they did it. She is still a tough one where sleeping is concerned, so don't beat yourself up as you probably just have a tough one around sleep too. I hope you can find a provider with a lot of patience that will be able to figure it out!

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