I'm in shock. He's been great all along - the homebirth, the co-sleeping, taking on the role of SAHD, and nursing overall. And then today he said he doesn't want me to nurse our son past a year and a half (he's almost 10mo now). When I asked why he said because it's weird. We're on vacation at my parents' place so we didn't really get into it much more than that, but I'm sitting here - having just nursed our little man to sleep - feeling sad and confused and angry.
I'm kinda not sure what to do. I've got the Kellymom factsheet on the benefits of extended nursing to give him, if he'll read it (we can both be pretty stubborn when we set our minds to it). I want to talk more with him about what 'weird' is and see if there's more. I think some part of it has to do with him wanting more physical attention. We've not had much sex since LO was born. I'm trying to make more of an effort but with working and being a new mom it's been hard to find the time, energy, or desire. When he said this it was just as little man was getting a little silly while nursing (some gymnastics, combined with popping off the boob laughing and practically diving back on).
Things have definitely been hard since the birth. We've fought more than we ever did before. Lots of new parenting stress .. and lack of sleep. His family is very much the old school CIO, cereal in the bottle of formula kind of crowd. But he's not especially close with them - though I think he still likes their approval.
I've heard the act of nursing be referred to as a 'dyad'. And I agree. But I guess some part of me is wondering, 'how does dad fit into that?'. I want to be respectful of his feelings, but I also am having a hard time thinking about not doing what I believe in my heart is right for our son.
I'm not sure what I need from this post. I guess I needed to get it out of my head so that hopefully I can sleep. Clearly he and I need to talk more.
I'm sorry. I would be in shock too. Hugs!
Wife to one amazing husband , SAHM to DS 10/09, DS 10/19, one furbaby , and lots of !
Also, you will disagree on some things but stuff that's clearly mother\baby issues is your decision, IMO, and dh has to learn to give mom final say.
Just becaue you disagree doesn't mean he doesn't love and respect you.
Dh and I fought a lot after ds was born. By the time ds turned a year it started to get better. And we went to marriage counselling and that helped a lot. Ds is 20 months and we're doing pretty well. But damn it's hard to figure out those roles at first.
i nursed dd1 till 3.25 years And am still nursing my other 2.
SAHM to Chloe«- 6/2008 (10 lbs, 5 oz), Hannah- 9/2010 (9 lbs, 12 oz), Liam- 2/2013 (9 lbs, 6 oz)
So what if you continue? What's he going to do about it? Anyway, I say cross that bridge when you get closer to 18 months.