What do you say to people who question you? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 06-07-2006, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm going for a natural childbirth and all that good stuff so everyone assumes I'll be breast feeding. While I haven't ruled it out if it ends up happening, my breasts never developed so there most likely isn't enough breast tissue there to produce any milk. I now have implants so it isn't quite obvious that I have zero breast tissue. We'll see what happens but meanwhile I've been investigating my options.

What do you tell people who question you as to why you aren't breastfeeding? I feel it is none of their business and really don't feel like detailing my medical history back to the time I was 12 to justify my situation.

Any advice?
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#2 of 6 Old 06-07-2006, 11:47 AM
 
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Wow, that's a hard one.

If you end up using a supplemental nursing system (SNS), you can honestly say "Yes I am breastfeeding", even if the contents are donor milk and/or formula. If you choose to use bottles instead you might say "It's not medically possible for me. We bottle-nurse instead", then demonstrate with your loving prescence of touch during feedings.

for however it works out!

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#3 of 6 Old 06-07-2006, 12:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristyMarie
I'm going for a natural childbirth and all that good stuff so everyone assumes I'll be breast feeding. While I haven't ruled it out if it ends up happening, my breasts never developed so there most likely isn't enough breast tissue there to produce any milk. I now have implants so it isn't quite obvious that I have zero breast tissue. We'll see what happens but meanwhile I've been investigating my options.

What do you tell people who question you as to why you aren't breastfeeding? I feel it is none of their business and really don't feel like detailing my medical history back to the time I was 12 to justify my situation.

Any advice?
I would just tell them it is none of their business. I am not sure you wouldn't be able to lactate.
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#4 of 6 Old 06-07-2006, 01:40 PM
 
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Tell them you've had breast surgery and were unable to breastfeed.

I highly recommend using an SNS or lact-aid system. As a matter of fact, if you're sure you're going to have problems, get one now and use it right away if problems crop up (of course, try just nursing first...nurse on demand 24/7)...only go to the lact-aid or SNS if the baby isn't gaining or has other medical issues. Don't be tempted by bottles. We've been SNS'ing for almost 14 months. I can say she's exclusive "breast-fed" even though it's not exclusively breast milk.
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#5 of 6 Old 06-07-2006, 03:19 PM
 
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mama...

I also recommend getting an SNS or Lact-Aid at-breast supplementer and finding a lactation consultant very familiar with using them.

If you choose to use bottles instead, when nosy people ask, tell them it is medically impossible and you are bottle-nursing instead, as someone suggested.

~claudia
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#6 of 6 Old 06-07-2006, 05:42 PM
 
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You're under no obligation to defend your parenting skills or to prove your dedication to your baby's well-being, so you could just tell them to mind their own business! Honestly, you'll meet plenty of people who will criticize your mothering for one thing or another -- it's best to learn not to care what 'they' say. otoh, a friend of mine who lost her breasts to cancer once threw her prosthetic at a woman who made a snide comment about her bottle-feeding her infant -- she'd been harassed by the booob police too many times and sort of snapped. The woman who'd been taking her to task ended up feeling like an ass.
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