Anyone with "size issues" that can tell me how to guide her? She feels she cannot cover up in public (modesty is important to her, please no judgment on that!!!), etc. And tips on how she can get some more sleep?
Why do I feel unequipped here? I've done this before!:
In the early days, I could not nurse lying down, it was just too uncomfortable for me. I was a slave to my boppy pillow / brest friend pillow, still use my boppy at almost every feeding.
I also used to nurse her in the car when out and about, just waaay easier. With one hand having to hold your boob in the correct place all the time it was awkward with a newborn. That plus her head needed to rest on my forearm instead of my elbow nook, so that was verry uncomfortable too. I kept a boppy in the car at all times for that reason.
Nurse in car.
Nurse in fitting room.
Ask for corner table when out to eat.
Use a maya wrap type sling.
Clothing choice is important. Wearing a hoodie type jacket helps, it covers your back/side when you hike your shirt up. Also a poncho. She could wear a bellyband type thing to keep everything covered.
Nothing wrong with using a large lightweight blanket. There are also lots of nursing cape/cover things all over the internet.
It is hard to get the hang of - practice in front of mirror.
I still use one arm to hold my baby and one to hold my breast most of the time. It took awhile to get that figured out. It also helps when baby is big/strong enough to support themselves some.
PP time is hard all around, especially those first 6-8 weeks. I guess just reassure her that it will get better. No one gets alot of sleep those first few weeks/months. I know people say this and moms ignore it but really, if you can convince her to rest when baby rests, that would be the most helpful. By the time the dishes are done or whatever baby always seems to be awake again. Just buy some paper plates!
I agree with the other mamas about nursing in the car, dressing room, etc. Planning trips around when the baby will need to nurse. Using a boppy or pillows whenever possible.
I learned to nurse my first DD lying down while we were still in the hospital. I had a 4th degree tear and that was how the nurses taught me. For six weeks I couldn't sit on my rear for very long periods of time. So, lying down was the only option. I nursed DD in bed with me and we'd just sleep/nurse all night. The tear was a blessing in disguise.
suggestions to give mom some sleep: give the baby a bottle of ebm at night. maybe not a popular opinion here but it's better than formula. My ds is 3 weeks old and feedings can take 30-45 minutes sometimes in the middle of the night. A bottle of ebm gives my boobs a break from soreness and allows me to get more sleep. I have a toddler so napping during the day is out of the question. I encourage him to eat more frequently during the day so he'll go longer stretches at night. Now he's going 4-6 hours sometimes. I would tell her to sleep when the baby sleeps, if this is her first this will be much easier to do that.
I teased my hubby that it was his job to hold the breast up to give my hand a break...
Dh, Me , DD 10 , DD 7 , DD 4
We , , , , not in that order
I found the Expressiva one-piece nursing twin-set to be most helpful, and able to hide anything.
Twin sets type tops (cardigan and tanktop) are also great for discreet nursing. You just have to lift the tank part and the cardigan hides everything.
I always had to hold across my belly, tummy to tummy, holding the breast I was/am feeding from and then the baby's head with my other hand. With the hand holding the breast, I would use my thumb to make an air passage way for my dd.
Good luck! I hope these things help her.
I found it very easy to nurse lying down, and didn't even have to roll over to switch sides. the bottom one was easiest so we saved that one for seconds. and eventually I could read with one hand and make an airhole with the other.
we also NIP in the sling and the large tail of the sling was the modesty cover. Feeding in the car worked best when I tilted the steering wheel up and slid the seat back, occasionally he would honk the horn.
we nursed for 37 months CLW and I just bought a new bra for Christmas, 42K.
Love and Light,
Some things that have helped me ( and may have already been mentioned- haven't gotten a chance to read the other replies yet)
In the begining with my first I nursed using the football hold, it made positioning much easier and I could pull my shirt down right to baby's nose and no one could see ( i tend to be modest too) If I was out and about I would use the diaper bag to rest my arm on, at home the arm of the chair or a pillow worked well...as he got bigger I eventually was able to nurse cradle style again pulling my shirt down to just above his nose I would use a nursing shawl to help get my bra open and baby latched then pull it off his face to nurse ( he hated having his face covered). With ds #2 I found this awesome nursing pillow Snuggle muff arm cradle- well not really a "pillow" more like padding on my arm that just helped me raise baby to the right position without bringing his whole body up like traditional "u" shaped nursing pillows. It worked terrific! I still use the nursing shawl to get latched and unlatched in public.
As for tips to get more sleep- does she co sleep? that saved my life- I could never function with first getting up all night staying up nursing him in the chair and then going back to sleep co sleeping makes night nursing so much easier- I usually wake just to help with latch and then I can drift back to sleep- if she's not comfortable with traditional cosleeping maybe she could try a side carred crib- baby has his own space yet is close to mom and makes night nursing so much easier
Another idea is to cut vertical slits into a man's "A shirt" or tanktop, then wear it under another shirt. Lift the top shirt, pull breast out from slit, and almost everything is covered. Never did it myself, but I have read about the idea on breastfeeding webpages. Men's shirts are cheap and thin so you won't get hot wearing one underneath another shirt in warm weather and you won't feel bad about cutting up a shirt.
Partly yes it's harder to be modest, partly (mostly!) I sense a feeling of anti-fat, body size horror about my breasts. Like, nursing is odd enough to most people. We don't see it. We also don't see large women with large (real!) breasts, aside from the context of porn. It's a shocker for people.
The whole, "OMG they're three times the size of the baby's head!" has caused me to feel like a freak show many times. I haven't had that comment from strangers, but from friends, and I feel aware that strangers are probably thinking the same thing and this is what is behind the widened eyes I sometimes get.
I think a lot of the suggestions are good, and also just an awareness that it's people's issues with size that has affected how I'm seen when NIP has helped me. Don't know if that will help your friend. Good luck to her! It's hard.
Mom to two beautiful boys, now in school to be a therapist and help other women with PPD.
I am a 36 H/I right now and I think larger chested women need resources like this page. ( I've known people who gave up because they were big, if only I knew then...)
When I nurse on the right I hold my brest with my right hand and my thumb up on top to garentee a good breathing space. Having something under that arm for support can be very helpful. Vis versa for the left. If I'm sitting in a chair I prop a leg up to support him. In bed I sit cross legged and he fits in my lap (nursing lying down has not worked for me) beautifully.
As for going out and nursing in public, I nuse in the front passenger seat, a lean forward a little. I let the "gal" hang out and no one seems to pick up on what I'm doing
I also had PP trouble - and some surges of depressive emotions durring nursing. Only she can gage if it is too much to continue nursing but I would say she should weigh in any guilt stopping BF may induce - especially if BF has been important to her. I find at times I still have depressive issues *while breast feeding* and I tend to just manage it, understanding that for me the emotion will pass when I stop nursing. The nursing results are far more important to me, and the *mood* has been manageable. I think some of it is linked to my overall dissatisfation with the size of my breasts... call it shame... and some of these feeling are my bodys poor reaction to prolactin surges.
I think experimenting with holds and chairs has help me to get more comfortable and move past most of the PP trouble... *mood*
I read about doing this on LLL site a few months back and thought it was the best idea ever and it's proven to be. It's not skin-on-skin, but for NIP, you can't beat it.
I personally found a boppy useless, but I'm super short torsoed, so my boobs are already in my lap. A rolled prefold or breast pillow place under my breast *did* help. And yeah, the forearm/wrist nerve pain really sucks, but my boobs go well past the crook of my arm when I'm sitting.
Before she knows it, she'll have a 17mo toddling in, demanding that she nurse the toilet plunger.
Excuse me while I go wash his hands.
Chasing DS since April 2007 and pumping for DD March 2013.
With a newborn, for nursing during the day, I put them on a stack of pillows to bring them up to breast height. Then I use a modified football hold for nursing. I like it because I can at least have on hand free that way. I'm considering trying to make something like http://www.boobybooster.com.au/page14.html for this next baby. I'm not very crafty, though, so I'm not entirely sure how to do it, but it seems like it would make nursing a lot easier & I could either use a hand to hold the baby or have 2 hands free.
In public, I use a nursing bra & nursing shirt. It's not great, but I never could figure out the multi-layer thing.
mom to all boys B: 08/01, C: 07/05 , N: 03/09 , M: 01/12 and far too many lost ones
When I go out and they are little, I cant be very modest about it, because I have to hold it and stuff. When I'm in a situation where I do want modesty (I dont care much most of the time myself), I use a bottle of expressed milk. Just because she is nursing doesnt mean she cant use a bottle EVER. It doesnt have to be all or nothing. Even giving formula while shes out wouldnt be that horrible-its still better than weaning. I hope she can find a solution
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