Ok, I am happy about this pregnancy. Really, I am. I am scared sh**less, but I am excited to have a baby.
But I have been very plain about my feelings in the last few months with my friends, family and especially my local AP group forums. My feelings being that I have had 'baby fever' and was wanting a baby, but was aware that it is not the best time for it. My DD is a WILD child and everyone knows that and a regular topic of conversation has been how unfair it would be to have a new baby until DD is older and hopefully calmer (or at least we have better coping tactics for her antics). Well, we are having a baby now, and I am worried that some people will say something negative or say we are not being responsible to take this on.
Also, a few months ago, my DH and I were going through some very rough times, fighting a lot and were on the verge of separating. Many of the issues have resolved now, we live together and get along well 90% of the time and through counseling are able to treat each other with respect. Because although we have always loved each other, we were being pretty nasty and not liking each other and being good friends. It has truly improved and I am very happy and satisfied with my DH, my own behavior and the progress we have made in our relationship.
But one of the things that some people said to me when I mentioned that I was lusting for a baby was that I should wait and see if DH and I could keep it together for a substantial amount of time before bringing an innocent newborn into the chaos. They said things about me not being able to trust or rely on DH and I should not consider going into a pregnancy unless I was planning on being a single mom. Some people even inferred that my DD's health problems were being caused by her emotional reaction the tension and anger in our home when DH and I were not getting along.
So now I have to tell all these people that I got pregnant anyway, and I am nervous that some of them might actually have the nerve to criticize the fact that I got pg or maybe tell me how awful and selfish it is or say they are sorry for me or for my baby.
I'm hoping that I am just being paranoid and if they do have doubts or criticism they will keep it to themselves, but if anything does come up, how should I handle it?
I don't want to feel like I have to apologize for my family. I didn't intentionally get pregnant, but when we conceived, I was aware that it was a possibility and didn't do anything to prevent it. I don't feel like I need to explain that to anyone, but I don't want them to think that I clearly did NOT want to have a baby and this is an unwanted pregnancy or will make me unhappy or cause problems in our family. It won't. It is a blessing and a wonderful thing and I am so excited.
So what do you think of this situation?