Evander McIver 7/21/07, 8lbs 6 oz, 20.5 inches.
Well, it all started for me with a phone call from my MIL Kathi. It was Wed morning, just before 7 am on February 21, 2007. I would have thought that maybe I would have been a little nervous or scared to hear Trish’s water had broken almost a month before our supposed “due date,” but I wasn’t scared or nervous or worried at all. My first reaction was to get home to Trish and check to see how she was doing and if she was following the Hypnobabies scripts to a pain free birth. Trish had put in a lot of time studying, reading, meditating and relaxing to train her body and follow the principles of hypnobabies. Trish was very disappointed with her support system and hospital staff for the birth of Bella. I wanted to get home to make sure this was a more pleasurable experience for her. On my way home, I received two more phone calls from Kathi stating that Trish was in intense labor already, and her mental state was fragile. So, when I walked in the door to find her on all fours and in pain, I was not surprised. She immediately beckoned me over to touch her and start speaking hypno to her. I was having a hard time remembering the words to the script since I had only read it to her one time. The whole overall experience was wonderful and amazing, but when she pooped while I was putting pressure on her lower back was not very appealing. This is how the home portion of the home birth began for me, but it was about to get better. For the next half hour or so, we alternated between positions for Trish on the bed and me pushing on her back. I was thinking sometime soon it would be nice if the midwives showed up because I really wanted this homebirth to be special for her, and I didn’t think I was saying the right things to help her relax. She seemed to be in pain and struggling to stay sane and relax for this time on the bed. I tried putting in a hypnobabies CD, but this did not help either. Trish then decided it was off to the tub, so I went to draw a bath and waited until she was ready to go. Little did I know that I was about to experience the most amazing natural act: birth. There was still no midwife yet, so it was just Trish and myself in the bathroom. Kathi, Missy and Bella played around in the living room, and Kathi would pop her head in every five minutes or so. Trish was on all fours as the water filled the tub, and I was in charge of showering her lower back with the nozzle shower spray to help ease her pain. For about 15 minutes, this moving to the shower seemed to be working very well as Trish was relaxing both mentally and physically. I was very calm and quiet during this shower/tub phase. Trish then began to utter out these deep guttural primordial groans every few minutes. It never crossed my mind at this point that she was pushing with each birthing wave and that within 15 minutes we would meet “mini E.” Within no time at all it seemed as if we progressed rapidly and Trish was groaning and moaning (a very uncomfortable sound) every minute or so. It was just past 8:30 am and Kathi walked in and said “we might be having this baby anytime, is there a head yet?” I looked down and to my surprise there was Mini E’s top of the head. Kathi quickly got of the phone and rushed in as I put my hands around the head and inside the vagina to try and help the head come out. Kathi also put her hands down to assist with the head, and I pulled my hands away as Trish screamed “Don’t touch me.” Kathi continued assisting for about 30 seconds until the whole head popped out and K came in the bathroom to finish the job. Evan’s head was purple with a brown patch of hair on top. The cord was around his neck, and it looked like he was struggling to breathe. I remember thinking it seems strange or paradoxical that the baby would be born in water coming from a water filled sack, but my first reaction is get him out of the water before he drowns. Strange indeed, two more groans and little E had entered the world. The cord was removed from his neck, but there was no gasping for air scream like I remembered with Bella. Instead, there was a grunting sound and Evan was bright red. His breathing and heart were good, but the fast labor was making it difficult for him to breathe and it seemed he wasn’t getting enough oxygen. This was the cause for the severe red coloration of his skin and grunting sounds. He was so amazing and beautiful. Trish had done such an amazing job in such a short amount of time. I thought we were hours away from the birth and here he was at 8:42 am. Less than 2 hours after I got that phone call that her water had broken, a new person was born into this world. Even though they were less than a pound different, Bella seemed to be twice as big when she was born. Bella was now too curious to wait around outside, and she came in and sat on my lap and watched Evan squirm around on Trish’s lap. Bella was extremely confused at the sight of a human being in mommy’s lap that hadn’t been here a minute before. It took about an hour for Bella to make the connection that Evan had come out of Mommy, and she was a big sister now. She has been a wonderful helper and big sister as she adjusts to her new role in the family. Sharing the weps (her term for nursing) has been difficult for her. As well as grasping how fragile Evan is. Our family is so awesome, I love them all.