Your kids' friends and raw milk - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 06-29-2012, 01:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We drink raw milk and I use it in cooking, too. When the kids have friends over to play sometimes they want a snack or drink. I never offer a glass of milk because I know some parents would be opposed to their kids drinking it and I'd just prefer to avoid that issue entirely. But most of our food is homemade, so sometimes there is raw milk IN something. I make smoothies with raw milk and raw egg yolks (banana/peanut butter is a favorite for the kids) and the kids were begging for a smoothie for a snack and their friend was here and wanted some too. So I gave him some too. It wasnt until he was halfway through that I thought about the ingredients and wondered - what is my responsibility to get approval before feeding someone else's child food that I personally feel is perfectly safe?

When my kids go to other people's houses the parents don't call to ask "is it okay if or child eats Cheetos and Sierra Mist?" because there is a general assumption that as long as a child doesn't have allergies you can feed them when they're at your house. And I respect that when my kids are at other peoples houses.

So, anyway, how do you all handle other people's kids and food in a society where traditional foods are often considered unsafe? Personally I think Cheetos are WAY more unsafe than some raw milk in a smoothie but I don't exactly want to get into this discussion with the parents of my kids' friends.

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#2 of 18 Old 06-29-2012, 10:46 PM
 
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Well....that's the milk we have so if they want it or it is incidentally in another food, I give it to them! redface.gif if we have almond milk, I will offer that first, but thats not often the case, and they usually want MILK. IDK, I have briefly thought about it like you, too, but....it's our food! We give our guests our best! If my child were in the home of a family from another culture, I would expect them to serve whatever they normally eat and would not gasp over her consuming something we normally don't, like I don't know, shark fin soup or something. I might be like hmmm I'm not really down with shark fin soup but hey that's their culture, and I would respect that. I know our milk is safe because it doesnt make us sick so....I would not ask the other parents or make an issue of it, though I totally get where you are coming from.

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#3 of 18 Old 08-07-2012, 09:22 PM
 
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I check with the parents first to make sure it's ok.  It's technically illegal to provide raw milk to ANYONE, including a guest in your home, where I live, so when DD has friends over I make sure that their parents know that we drink raw milk.  Nobody's actually ever had a problem with it, and I "converted" one of DD's closest friends ;-)
 


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#4 of 18 Old 08-08-2012, 12:43 PM
 
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I want people to communicate with me about what they offer my kids, and I try to do the same.  If the child isn't a baby, I probably wouldn't worry about the raw milk with most of my friends.  Maybe once my kids are older I won't care, but I would be upset if my kids got Cheetos and Sierra Mist.  We don't eat that way.  The more I think about it, though, the older they get the less control I will have/want over their food choices.

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#5 of 18 Old 08-08-2012, 12:52 PM
 
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I dont give raw milk to anyone without telling them that that's what they are consuming. With kids I always ask their parents first.


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#6 of 18 Old 08-08-2012, 11:45 PM
 
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See, to me sleepover at friends = dd will be eating whatever they eat, be it Cheetos and soda or whatever. When I say she may sleepover, it is built in t hat she may eat whatever they are eating. She doesnt have any allergies, tho, so I understand that YMMV. That's something I accept about her being out of my home, she's going to be exposed to different things, and I don't trip out about her eating something we don't eat at home.

I never thought about it from the legal perspective, tho! oops.gif I guess I just trust our source implicitly and it seems so "normal" to me that I never really gaveit much thought! Dd is usually the one to offer, and I'll be like, hmm maybe orange juice instead (coz I am stingy lol.gif ), but thinking about it now, only other kids from extended family (who's moms like our milk) or friends' kids who drink raw at home have ever gotten any of our precious milk!

I don't see it as a possible danger to share but you all have me wondering--would average parent (not my crunchy friends lol.gif )be mad their kid had fresh milk at our house? Should we buy separate guest milk haha or ask parents to bring their own dairy? Hmmm....

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#7 of 18 Old 08-09-2012, 04:41 AM
 
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I don't see it as a possible danger to share but you all have me wondering--would average parent (not my crunchy friends lol.gif )be mad their kid had fresh milk at our house?

would you like if your child had alcohol without your knowledge? Many do cook and server as well to children- to some that's fine, others want none no matter if it's cooked off or not.

 

 

I think this can be viewed many ways-I would personally never give any ingredient to a child or an adult without saying so first (that means asking the parent!) - growing up even at sleep-overs parents did say what they were having prior to the parents-so I would expect the same, if they didn't I would ask- there are many things I do not want my child to have and I would not give to another without first asking- that's me

also we had a bad campylobacter outbreak- I could not in good conscience not tell a parent what I was giving their child 


 

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#8 of 18 Old 08-10-2012, 04:36 PM
 
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I would appreciate a mom telling me what she plans to feed my child especially if she knows that it might be something to which I would object.  It would help me trust the mom more and I think it's just polite to ask even if you are sure it would probably be fine.   


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#9 of 18 Old 08-11-2012, 10:40 AM
 
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Hm.    I have no problem eating things containing raw eggs, and I let the kids eat batters that contain raw eggs, and soft-cooked yolks.

 

But given the issues that people have with that, I'd ask permission before letting someone else's kid eat raw or undercooked egg at my house.   

 

Given that multiple recent forays into raw-milk-on-the-farm sales in my county have ended with outbreaks of campylobacter or other illnesses, I'd want to know if that was part of the plan.    That doesn't apply to recipes in which the milk is scalded before adding, or baked goods, obviously.


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#10 of 18 Old 08-15-2012, 10:56 AM
 
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I think it's important to ask the parents first. We used to drink raw milk and I knew that other parents were against it so I made sure I had pasteurized milk at home when their kids came over. To me, you can't compare it to Cheetos because you can literally die from drinking bad raw milk (especially kids). We stopped drinking it after 3 kids who were drinking the same raw milk that we were almost died (I think some of them will need a kidney transplant in the future). I think it ok though if you use the milk in baked goods.

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#11 of 18 Old 08-18-2012, 05:12 PM
 
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i'm pretty verbal about our eating style.  my kids are still young, and my son tells everyone what we eat and drink, so it's not too big a deal to me.  I generally dodge the milk thing with water with friends around (it's never just one in my house....) but also because our raw jersey milk has offended many of our friends kids b/c it's 'too creamy' for example.  For smoothies, I see the problem, and i've probably done it before as well.  raw egg yolks and raw milk.  I know my farm is tested monthly and has never had an issue, and since i drink it when pregnant and also give it to my babies when they start weaning around 14 months, I am very confident in my supplier.  So if it was unintentional, it would then be something i would try to avoid.  But if it is a kid who comes over frequently, then I would start the dialog w/ the parents.  That said, my close friends are all raw milk drinkers as well, and that community around food has been central to our life as a family.  My non-raw milk drinking friends (and they were pretty adamant and fearful) always had a hard time feeding my kids, and their kids wouldn't eat our food, mostly due to lack of packaging and sugar, while my kids thought that the onslaught of pirate booty and grapes was a gift from heaven.  it's hard.  i wouldn't be paranoid, but am aware and try to have that conversation with friends pretty early on.


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#12 of 18 Old 08-18-2012, 06:00 PM
 
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If I offer raw milk to a guest I always ask the parent or guest if they are comfortable with that. While I feel that the raw milk I purchase is safe I never want to betray someone's trust by offering them or their child something that they are not comfortable with behind their back.
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#13 of 18 Old 08-18-2012, 06:25 PM
 
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I would not and do not offer raw milk to other children. If they ask for milk I say that the milk we have hasn't been cooked like grocery store milk is and I'll need to ask their parents if it's ok before they have some. They've always forgotten about it. If I know kids are coming over for milk and cookies or something like that I'll buy pasteurized milk at the store to have then. I wouldn't want another parent giving my child sushi or steak tartare (is that how it's spelled?) without checking if it's ok first, there's more risk to some foods and parents should be able to make the decision for their kids if they want to accept whatever slight risk there may be.

 

Slightly off topic but I always 'warn' adults who are visiting that the milk in the fridge is raw. I say that they're welcome to have all they want and we drink it with no problem but you never know with raw milk. A friend was watching the kids at my house once and I forgot to tell her that the milk in the fridge was raw, she had had some when I got back and (thankfully) had not problem with it since she used to live near a farm and drank it as a child.

 

FWIW - I live in a state where raw milk can only be sold if it's labeled as "for pet consumption only" and "not fit for human consumption". No farms are inspected or regulated in any way. If I lived in a state with more regulation of raw milk I might feel differently about giving it to other people's kids. Not only because the farms would have been inspected but because legal raw milk is more likely to be viewed as a regular grocery product. Something purchased for human consumption from a licensed dairy is probably ok with more parents than "pet milk" would be and it would free my family from legal liability. People will sue over anything, if a child (or adult, for that matter) got sick after having raw milk at my house I would likely be liable unless the parent had given permission first with full understanding of the risks. If the milk came from a licensed dairy then the dairy would be liable the same way a farm selling tainted lettuce or whatever would be liable.

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#14 of 18 Old 08-19-2012, 03:08 PM
 
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lol- i was down in florida and bought the pet milk for my kids and it was a subject of great harassment by my nurse-sister.  it does make a difference, i wasn't as at peace about that milk.  

 

our milk is state licensed and certified and i also know the farmers and the cows personally, all of which give me confidence in their product.  i support only state licensed raw milk so that i can have this CONFIDENCE in the product for my health and the health of those around us!


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#15 of 18 Old 08-21-2012, 06:55 AM
 
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Unfortunately, there is no licensing in some states.  And I actually don't consider licensing as an equal replacement for knowing where your food comes from -- an important component included above.  If I am buying milk from an unlicensed dairy owned and operated by someone I know and trust, I think I'm better off than buying licensed raw milk from someone I don't know.

 

But none of these sourcing decisions have much bearing on whether or not we should communicate to other parents about our food choices and their children.

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#16 of 18 Old 10-08-2012, 06:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sunnygir1 View Post

And I actually don't consider licensing as an equal replacement for knowing where your food comes from -- an important component included above.  If I am buying milk from an unlicensed dairy owned and operated by someone I know and trust, I think I'm better off than buying licensed raw milk from someone I don't know.

 

 

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#17 of 18 Old 10-12-2012, 09:08 AM
 
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There was an incident in my state where a family gave raw milk to their daughters friend who then got sick.  The parents blamed the raw milk immediately and called the State Health Department.  It was a big mess.  It turned out that the milk was not the cause of the child getting sick.  Because of this I am more cautious and do not share raw milk with visitors unless they are consenting adults. 


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#18 of 18 Old 11-07-2012, 11:37 AM
 
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If legality is an issue in your state, I wouldn't serve it to the children unless cooked in something (and thus no longer raw). This is the best way to CYA (and your farmer's). I probably also wouldn't disclose for the same reasons; I'd just explain they couldn't have milk just then.

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