Non-Vegan Grandparents Keep Feeding Cheese to My Daughter - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 12-09-2011, 08:40 PM - Thread Starter
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So for reasons beyond my control my kids and I are temporarily living with my parents. My kids and I are all vegan, my parents are meat eaters and consume TONS of dairy. I have specified that we are vegan and would rather go without than have dairy or other types of cheese. However my mom keeps feeding my daughter cheese as a topping on almost everything! So for the past two days my dd has been pretty sick (I don't think it's a virus just all the cheese since no one else is sick). I keep asking my mom not to feed her any more and that we have soy and almond cheese she can use on my dds food instead. I am appreciative that my parents are letting us stay with them in our time of need but am getting very annoyed  that my mom keeps giving my daughter cheese!

be good family...

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#2 of 8 Old 12-12-2011, 03:21 PM
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I would be sooooooooooo annoyed. I don't know what else you can do other than to express that this is very important to you and you aren't willing to compromise on this point. Can you control the food being given to your kids, so that even if she's preparing things you're around, or is she watching the kids without your supervision at certain times? In the end, this is hopefully temporary, but I would be really very annoyed. 

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#3 of 8 Old 12-13-2011, 01:12 AM
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how old is your dd, does she understand the cheese is making her sick and can she refuse the food herself?

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#4 of 8 Old 12-13-2011, 01:14 AM
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NO ONE should eat dairy during a stomach upset.

(Besides which it is disrespectful as you are vegans.)

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#5 of 8 Old 12-13-2011, 04:28 PM
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i agree you need to express, if you haven't, that this is very important to you and ask why they are feeding her dairy.  spell out what is and isn't vegan. e.g. - a little cheese on top isn't vegan.  (green beans cooked in pork fat are 'vegan' to my southern relatives!) 


are they putting the cheese on shared dishes and serving DD a portion?  they may not want to cook separately for her, or to make her feel 'left out.'  you may need to make an effort to have easy snacks and meals around, for example. if they believe it's nutritionally necessary/beneficial, give them some literature that won't come off as propaganda. it's hard for me to keep my tone calm and reasonable when dealing with family, but it really helps--and don't open anything up for debate.  your kid, your family's diet, your decision.  but be open to their feelings and concerns too, especially since they are hosting you, after all, and no doubt want the best (in their view) for your daughter.

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#6 of 8 Old 12-16-2011, 05:49 PM
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Oh my gosh!  I would be beyond annoyed.  I'm not sure I would speak to someone ever again if they intentionally did this...yet you're stuck living there.  Ouch.


I am wondering if you have fully conveyed how angry this makes you.  Your parents need to understand that they are seriously jeopardizing their relationship with you.  I don't mean to say that you definitely haven't made this clear, but if you haven't, that's their only excuse.  The only option I see is to set all of your cards on the table.

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#7 of 8 Old 12-27-2011, 08:55 PM
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I would be really mad also. It is making your dd sick, and I would point that out.


I am sorry for inconsideration :(

Step Son - D age 5 1/2

Pregnant with my first born
Jaxon Dean Due 6/8
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#8 of 8 Old 12-28-2011, 01:48 PM
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If you think it's truly making her sick then a good way to resolve this is to get your pediatrician to recommend a dairy-free diet for your child. Your parents are going to be much more likely to follow the rules if that's the case.


The other thing to do is to talk to your daughter about it a lot. She may be too young to fully understand but you can try to help her fend for hreself. She will need to learn this skill eventually anyway when she goes to school so you may as well start now by teaching her to say "no cheese."

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